Doings

I'm working on a new look for The Machine site. Much more basic, more blogger friendly.

Fetor releases an album Friday. We're also recording one Friday. Same show. I've been busy with that.

It's officially Thanksgiving. I'm in Indian Head Park, bored out of my mind.

I think Issue 5 of The Machine will be pirate themed. Maybe we'll become a quarterly. Or fade away. Maybe have a party and burn all previous issues, leaving no proof behind. Not sure.

Time to make the donuts

It's beautiful outside. It was 20 degrees warmer yesterday. It'll be 20 degrees cooler tomorrow.

Kelsey and I will be spinning Chicago music at Delilah's tonight. I've been listening to a lot of Bo Diddley, so tonight should be good.

Kelsey and I fly to New York next week. We're going to CMJ. It'll be my fourth time, first without a radio station. This means that I don't have to go to any panels. More times to see bands I've never heard of, which is much more fun in practice than theory.

Daytime television commercials make the viewer feel like a failure. Daytime television shows make the viewer feel like a winner. Thanks, Judge Joe Brown, Mathis, Texas Justice, Divorce Court, etc.

BLOG!!!

UPDATE!!! I JUST ATE A BURRITO!!! TOO QUICKLY!!!

If I did sleep with you, I must've been wasted out of my mind.

USA! USA! TOMMY GUNN!!!

I'll be driving around in an Enterprise van for the next two days. I have a college education. That's why the van works. Because I'm really, really smart. And I watch "Maury".

Phil Spector's trial is over. Mistrial. Kelsey will be let down. No pen-pals. At least not yet. That guy is bald! Fashion crime!

UPDATE!!! THE BURRITO IS STILL INSIDE OF MY BODY!!!

Deadlines

Issue 5 of The Machine will come out when Kelsey and I want it to come out. R.I.P. MegaMall.

We're going to New York next month and I'm excited to see other urban neighborhoods for five days.

I haven't read many books this year. That'll change in 2008. Back to at least 52. If I don't follow through I might as well just drink all day.

The Machine hasn't had much work done since July. I haven't written much since June. I have worked on Fetor everyday for the past 3-months but it seems like a waste of time. It's extremely fulfilling playing with Mike and Paul, but what's the ultimate goal? How much are any of us willing to sacrifice in order to "make it", whether that be coke and whores or money and whores.

Proof that I'm a real writer: The walls were painted with the dull pang of children's broken dreams and parents unfulfilled hopes.

Blah blah blah.

It's much more satisfying to sing a song at a loud volume (that phrase is either incorrect or just sounds wrong) than to wow strangers with diction. Unless you're a dick.

Maybe I should be living in a country setting. No neighbors for miles. Scream all you like, no one is going to complain. Maybe we all should live in a country setting. With urban amenities. Like easy access to food, booze, cigarettes and a high speed connection in order to see nude pictures of the cast of "High School Musical" and "Beauty and the Geek."

The "Sex and the City" movie begins shooting today. I hope the following occurs in the "Sex and the City" movie...
-One of the women become unemployed and the other three refuse to acknowledge her
-Herpes
-AIDS
-One falls in love with a hobo
-Stabbing
-A neat fireworks display
-None of the four main characters speak
-Tons o'cock
-A shot of me buying a gyro at 4am in Manhattan
-A cure for AIDS that Magic Johnson steals
-No narration
-Amy Sedaris not following the script

Fuck you, "Entertainment Tonight."

Take my cred

Come live in Humboldt Park. Enjoy the fighting neighbors. Soak in the dog abuse. Observe the 6-year olds play in an abandoned house at 1am. Earn more cred than you'll ever need. Because we all need cred. I'll sell you mine for a place in Lincoln Park.

MachineFest, Night 12

Kelsey did door. I manned the bar. We saw nothing. The cops showing up was a nice way to end the 12-days.

MachineFest, Night 11

Besides the stolen backpack, the dance party at Modemtotem was a success.

MachineFest, Night 10

The Wanderers cancelled on us. It didn't matter. Fuck The Wanderers. Little Sister stepped in and blew everyone away. Fuck structure, fuck politeness, fuck everything, Little Sister has.

Doug Travis needs to play more shows. They're the only band more visually exciting than Little Sister.

Hot Lips Messiah was crowd pleasing, but it's all about Little Sister.

MachineFest, Night 9

Happened.

---

When you know you're no fun

While all the other peers of mine are dancing to the band in the basement, I am upstairs wasting time typing. The stench of weed is a second thought to most, but not to me. Rather than let things just be, I decide to avoid it at all cost. Avoid talking to anyone. Avoid dancing. Avoid making a new friend.

The kids are enjoying themselves. I'm not a child and neither are they, but they are kids to me. They're kids because they dance to enjoy their $5. I am not a kid because I don't pay the $5. I get in for free and wish I wasn't here.

Girls with wet tops and boys with sweaty brows are to my left and right. Behind me is a brick wall. I'm trying to hide from everyone, but not in a "Please, I'm sad, please talk to me" way, but more in a subtle, blankless expression way. People occasionally walk by and make eye contact. I instantly regret looking up.

But things aren't that bad. I have at least 20 more ounces of beer at my disposal. I will drink all of these ounces and use all of my might to prevent cursing at the owners of where I'm currently stealing internet. I will do everything I can to quiet the urge to destroy everything I see. To stand on faces while I stab necks. To dismantle PAs in order to make my sound louder.

Do this, in memory of me.

MachineFest, Night 8

It's not possible to have a bad show at Cal's. It's always loud and if you don't like the band, you can sit outside on Van Buren and drink beer.

Shopping is very good. I bought two 7 inches and a tour CD. Rise of Man makes excellent metal and now I want to play metal. Altgeld Forgotten has gotten much tighter and has played all 8 festivals I've booked (I think). I want to sing for Shotgun For Royalty.

We should have had every show at Cal's.

MachineFest, Night 7

Hip-hop night at the Darkroom. We broke even. A hip-hop show in Ukranian Village on a Monday night with great sets from each performer is a success to me.

Yea Big and Kid Static made me smile.

MachineFest, Night 6

I could listen to Daniel Knox everyday of my life and still enjoy it. His set, along with Eric Ziegenhagen and KT the Band was a nice break from all the loud music. I'd like to have each of them perform in my living room on a weekly basis.

MachineFest, Night 5

Technically everyone at The Flower Shop stopped what they were doing to dance to Nightfox's set.

MachineFest, Night 4

The buzz night.

Charlie Deets was billed to perform. Charlie Deets performed with the members of his band Sally. They performed two songs in 25-minutes. It was wonderful and psychedelic.

Aleks in the Drummer had a piece about them in the Friday edition of the Chicago Tribune and Red Eye. Buzz. Aleks' vocal melodies make their songs. There's not much I can say that every music blog hasn't.

J+J+J actually got people to dance at Double Door.

Arks closed out the night and, I swear to god, they looked like they were having fun.

It'll probably be the best night of the fest.

MachineFest, Night 3

Our first show at Ronny's. If a band sounds good in a garage, they'll sound good anywhere.

Mr. Russia added a second bassist. This makes them a power trio, with bass, drums and bass. Imagine all the Shellac songs when Albini doesn't play guitar. It's like that. It's good. It's loud.

Twin Wrecks the Memory played. They're becoming my go-to band whenever I seem to hate rock and roll.

Team Band got really drunk and were really fun.

Another one next week. I'm expecting Doug Travis to pull out all the stops.

MachineFest, Night 2

There was a monsoon or flash flood or something horrible with rain. From an hour before doors til the last band took the stage, the weather was not on our side last night. Even so, we still managed to have a good night at Double Door. The Hushdrops were spot on. The Goldstars brought go-go dancers to an appreciative crowd. Venom Lords treated everyone to pop punk ditties. Kelsey and I filled time with Chicago tunes. All in all, a good night despite Jesus hating us.

MachineFest, Night 1

Opening night at Liar's Club was fun, too much fun. For the first time I opened a festival I booked (this time co-booked) with my own band. Fetor played a set in reverse order, new stuff to old stuff. We were out of tune, no one could hear my vocals and I smashed a Flying V. It was a good set.

Mannequin Men spun old rock and roll tunes. WLUW DJs made people dance upstairs. Everyone was pleased.

Thunderwing played songs about rocking and did a lot of rock and roll posing. Their fans were also happy.

Most importantly, Herb, the owner of Liar's Club, was happy. If the owner is happy, I'm happy.

We made a good amount of money for the next issue. At this rate, we might actually dig ourselves out of debt.

Kelsey did not go to work. I am even sicker than the day before. We won.

Why did we decide to start a fest on a Tuesday?

Holy fucking

Fucking in a wheelchair, less to fight off.

HAHAHAHAHA. A Poem. I'm a POET. You're a poet.

Do you see that hole? I can't be like that.

Do you know about St. Henry?

We're going to have a bake sale to raise $300,000. It's time to learn God's Gospel.

What the fuck am I writing about? I'm the BEST beat writer. Bro.

This week I will ingest Dayquil, Nyquil, Rye whiskey, beer, cigarette smoke (1st and 2nd) and microwaveable diet food.

Liar's Club. I keep thinking of Liar's Club. Then it'll be the next show. If there's no next show I better break all my guitars.

Two more days

Fetor at Liar's Club. A chance to burn bridges in musical form while showing the size of my guitar dick.

Pre-MachineFest

The fest starts next Tuesday. We lost two venues in the last week. I've been drinking a lot of coffee and hoping not to hear anyone cry.

Do I even like this anymore? Some of the shows are fun and some of the people are fun and sometimes I have fun, but I can't remember the last time that happened. I can't remember the last time I had fun doing all this type of work. If I got high I would have a lot of fun.

It's no fun trying to work with 'revolutionaries'. It's no fun when you're sober. It's violent when you're drunk.

I talk to Kelsey and Mike and not many others. That's OK by me.

I don't talk about my experiences working on large scale festivals because they're not positive. The people that know me understand this. The people that don't ask for tickets.

This isn't funny.

Slowly turning Republican with each inhale of second-hand pot smoke.