Chimp blood

29. "MXP: Most Xtreme Primate"
We all lose.

Nothing decent is on television on Sunday afternoons. It's one of the reasons people believe in God. Limited choices.

This thing makes me question my belief in evolution, common decency, the use of racial stereotypes and the right to bear arms. I did not enjoy one moment of this thing, yet I did nothing to change the channel. Sure, I was folding laundry, washing dishes and picking up trash, but that's no excuse. I have a soul and this was tearing it apart.

Why would a monkey snowboard? Why would a sombrero mean someone is from Mexico? Why would an Italian man get his own table with a bottle of red wine and a bread basket at a snowboarding event featuring a team of 10-year old competitors? Why would a snowboard race be in teams of two? Why would a band, Dynamite Boy, license it's songs for this thing?

Who would show this to their children? Who would let their child watch this after reading the back of the DVD? This thing should be used for birth control. If you laugh at multiple sight gags, you're baby makers are permanently removed. If you chuckle multiple times, you get a 10-year shot preventing your seed being spread. If you chuckle once, one year. If you stare at the screen with dead eyes and think about suicide, 6 months. If you turn the thing off and read a book, please, go ahead and breed.

I may be a masochist.