I hate him! I love him! He's a scoundrel! He's a saint! He's crazy! He's a genius!

54. "Citizen Kane"
Preface: I'm writing this within an hour of seeing the film. I'm going between this and reading three reviews/critiques of the film in addition to some history. Be warned that this thing will probably be all over the place.

I've finally watched the greatest film of all time.

At 26, Orson Welles created his masterpiece. Coming off the success of his "War of the Worlds" radio play, he had complete control over his directorial debut. This did not happen again in his career.

I've known about this film, the history and the stature, since I knew that film was an art form. I knew that "The Simpsons" parodied the story of Kane when Mr. Burns yearns for his childhood plush bear 'Bobo.' I had a feeling that I had heard the song about Kane sung by a chorus line (I had, the White Stripes used to sing a verse or two at live shows). In other words, why haven't I seen this thing before? The only reason I can think of is fear, the fear that I won't understand the praise.

I do understand the praise. The cinematography alone makes it ground breaking. The story structure is still interesting. Welles' performance as Kane is probably taught in any self-respecting acting class. The audio is realistic and scary, specifically in scenes in Xanadu.

I do not completely understand why this is the greatest film of all time.

If I saw this film at 1941 and understood why Hollywood did not want to see a film that in any way resembled William Randolph Hearst, I might consider this the greatest film of all time.

Do I not think it's #1 because so many films have borrowed techniques that Welles created?

After seeing this and "The Lady From Shanghai" I see Welles love of mirrors and will probably steal some shots he's used.

Of the films on the AFI Top 100 Films list, I would say that "Singin' in the Rain," "It's a Wonderful Life" and "High Noon" should be moved to 1, 2 and 3. I would also add "The Thin Man," which isn't on the list, to number 4. "Citizen Kane" would be in the top 10.

I have a feeling that "Kane" will become more resonant the older I get. The idea that someone my age wrote (with Herman J. Mankiewicz) the greatest film of all time, lines that resonate today, lines about aging that only a dumb youth could stumble upon, makes me think there's something I won't understand till I'm on my deathbed.

Like I've been doing since I was thirteen, I'm once again looking to Roger Ebert to explain to me what I think I understand.