Part 4

Top 10 Music Related Couples and Former Couples I Want To See With A Kid
1. Joel Madden and Hillary Duff
2. Fez and Lindsey Lohan
3. Fez and Mandy Moore
4. Fez and Ashley Simpson
5. Ryan Carababababa and Ashley Simpson
6. Deryck Whibley and Avril Lavigne
7. Deryck Whibley and Paris Hilton
Remember when the two were dating and she appeared in the Me First Gimme Gimme's video for "I Believe I Can Fly"? That was weird. Not as weird as the batshit
crazy guy that wrote "I Believe I Can Fly." That guy fucks kids.
8. Nick Carter and Paris Hilton
Whenever I hear "I beat that bitch with a hit" by Miss Kittin I think of these two.
9. Madonna and Vanilla Ice
Madonna is a fucking stuck up bitch. Why? She’s now religious. She wasn’t religious when she let Vanilla Ice put it in. If you’d like to see Vanilla Ice put it in Madge, check out her book “Sex.” Then tell your gay friends you hate Madonna.
10. Jack White and Meg White
This kid would write great blues songs but won't be able to speak more than thirty words in a day. We'll call him the new Jandek.

Top 10 Bands I Want To See Explode In A Bus Accident and Why
I realize that it's probably insensitive to print this list considering that the drummer from Bayside just died in a car or van or bus accident while on tour. But the band sucked. Fuck that dead drummer. He was 30 anyway. Why the fuck did he make music that sounded like a group of 14-year olds from an affluent suburb?
1. Avenge Sevenfold
untalented assholes
2. The Darkness
cocky assholes
3. Good Charlotte
obvious reasons
4. Yellowcard
fuck that fiddler
5. The Explosion
irony
6. Death Cab For Cutie
irony
7. P.O.D.
God ain't saving anybody
8. Korn
they've had their fun and now they need to die
9. Pussycat Dolls
strip, don't "sing"
10. Bayside
time to finish the job