The Grand Prize Game

On mornings when I wake up too early and can't go back to sleep I wish I could trade in the internet for the Bozo the Clown show. There's nothing on television that I want to watch so I end up going to and from local news shows and "Saved By The Bell".

I watched the Bozo show every morning in grade school. When WGN decided to do a morning news show and just give Bozo Sunday mornings I didn't care, I was in 6th grade or something. Only at the end of high school, when the fledging Sunday show was taken off the air that I remembered that Bozo was exactly what I should have been watching every weekday morning for the rest of my life.

Here are my television options right now.
2 "The Early Show"
5 "The Today Show"
7 "Good Morning America"
9 "WGN Morning News"
11 "Postcards from Buster"
20 documentary from the early 80s about math and San Francisco
23 "Laverne and Shirley"
26 "One on One"
32 "Fox Thing In The Morning"
38 some Christian show
44 "Cada Día con María Antonieta"
50 "Cheers"

These are not good options. If you watch 10 minutes of the morning news you've seen everything. I don't want to watch two sitcoms with beer in it, a boring documentary, propaganda, a language I don't understand or a children's cartoon. So, I'm on the internet. I've watched the new Deftones video (not good), looked up who played Chicago's Bozo (Joey D'Auria is my favorite) and found out when the Aurora bound train leaves Union Station. If Bozo was on I wouldn't have this problem.

Bozo seemed stuck somewhere between the mid-60s and 70s. The skits were recycled, the cartoons were way behind the most popular of the day and the clowns didn't seem to give a fuck whether or not they were funny. None of that mattered. I loved the show. I watched it way behind the target age. The news and current cartoons didn't hold my interest. Staring at a 40-something dressed in an orange wig calmed the soul.

I want to watch Mr. Rogers at 7am and Bozo from 7:30 to 9am.