Suspend Reality For As Long As You Possibly Can

"Flavor of Love," specifically season two, is the best fairy tale the 21st century has yet to produce. A forgotten court-jester re-enters the people conscious 15-years after his prime. After one run of joyful series featuring other familiar faces, the American public was granted a spin-off series co-staring a former vixen/current wreck. That spin-off was unleashed on us almost two years ago and the public is still in love with Public Enemy's light side.

The highest-rated show in the history of VH1 is a "reality" show similiar to "The Bachelor". Instead of roses, the contestants that advance get a giant clock. Flavor gives the holes* fun and random tasks, like cleaning up Warren G's mansion and dancing. The dancing sure was fun. Everyone lives in a mansion.

How is this a fairy tale?

1. Outside of Flav's pad is a dinosaur. With a giant clock around it's neck. And it's wearing a crown. And dark sunglasses.

2. The holes wear dresses in most scenes. Most holes wear at least two dresses per episode. Most females in fairy tales wear dresses. I'm not sure if this is true, but it sure sounds like it is. Whenever I picture fairy tales in my head there's at least one person in a dress.

3. Not only does the dinosaur wear a crown but Flav has headgear as well. A viking helmet. There's got to be a viking in some fairy tale.

4. The entire series is symbolism. For what, I'm not exactly sure. World peace? No, that's not it. That's not even funny. I apologize. The symbolism is about being as pure as one possibly can. In other words, it's supposed to be about being real. I've heard the word 'real' used at least 10 times in each episode. That's fucking real, G. Real.

5. Monsters are everywhere. Among the holes are monsters with secrets. Secrets like porn, accents, prison and singing.

6. Three gay men give commentary during commercial breaks. Gay men involved in hip-hop is mythical, something only believable in a fairy tale.

7. Names like Phil and Mary aren't used. Instead there are Krazy, Bootz and other words spelled incorrectly.

8. A hole took a shit on the floor. The hole was not a toddler. The book "Everybody Poops" is non-fiction, but it is kind of like a faity-tale. So, I'm counting the shit on the floor.

9. A hole that got kicked off within the first 20-minutes of the first episode threatened to beat another hole's ass in the name of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I look at the Bible like a big fairy tale. Therefore, this one comes in strong at number nine.

10. Balconies. There are many shots on balconies. The kind of balconies that people climb down from in fairy tales. They usually climb down on fake hair, which brings us to...

11. Weaves.

There you have it, 11 reasons why "Flavor of Love" is the best fairy tale out there, at least until "Strange Love 2" comes out.

*The people on the show are not women. They're barely people. They are holes. Flav loves his holes. We all love Flav's holes. In fact, you can find most of the hole's hole's on the same interweb that you're on right now! It's both fun and haunting!