Thursday, September 27, 2007



If I did sleep with you, I must've been wasted out of my mind.


I'll be driving around in an Enterprise van for the next two days. I have a college education. That's why the van works. Because I'm really, really smart. And I watch "Maury".

Phil Spector's trial is over. Mistrial. Kelsey will be let down. No pen-pals. At least not yet. That guy is bald! Fashion crime!


Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Issue 5 of The Machine will come out when Kelsey and I want it to come out. R.I.P. MegaMall.

We're going to New York next month and I'm excited to see other urban neighborhoods for five days.

I haven't read many books this year. That'll change in 2008. Back to at least 52. If I don't follow through I might as well just drink all day.

The Machine hasn't had much work done since July. I haven't written much since June. I have worked on Fetor everyday for the past 3-months but it seems like a waste of time. It's extremely fulfilling playing with Mike and Paul, but what's the ultimate goal? How much are any of us willing to sacrifice in order to "make it", whether that be coke and whores or money and whores.

Proof that I'm a real writer: The walls were painted with the dull pang of children's broken dreams and parents unfulfilled hopes.

Blah blah blah.

It's much more satisfying to sing a song at a loud volume (that phrase is either incorrect or just sounds wrong) than to wow strangers with diction. Unless you're a dick.

Maybe I should be living in a country setting. No neighbors for miles. Scream all you like, no one is going to complain. Maybe we all should live in a country setting. With urban amenities. Like easy access to food, booze, cigarettes and a high speed connection in order to see nude pictures of the cast of "High School Musical" and "Beauty and the Geek."

The "Sex and the City" movie begins shooting today. I hope the following occurs in the "Sex and the City" movie...
-One of the women become unemployed and the other three refuse to acknowledge her
-One falls in love with a hobo
-A neat fireworks display
-None of the four main characters speak
-Tons o'cock
-A shot of me buying a gyro at 4am in Manhattan
-A cure for AIDS that Magic Johnson steals
-No narration
-Amy Sedaris not following the script

Fuck you, "Entertainment Tonight."

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Take my cred

Come live in Humboldt Park. Enjoy the fighting neighbors. Soak in the dog abuse. Observe the 6-year olds play in an abandoned house at 1am. Earn more cred than you'll ever need. Because we all need cred. I'll sell you mine for a place in Lincoln Park.