The phrase "we'll see" makes me upset every time I hear it. It reminds me of what it was like to be a child and asking an adult to do something that they did not really want to do.
"Can we get ice cream after we run the errands?"
"We'll see."
I hated hearing that even as a child. Now that I'm technically an adult I want to break a chair over whoever utters those words to me.
"How's the job going?"
"It's pretty stressful. I'm not sure if I want to be there. I might leave. We'll see."
No, we won't see. We won't see because if you keep saying "we'll see" I'm going to hurt you and cut all ties.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Better Living Through Technology
I'm pretty sure the CD drive on the laptop I'm using is broke. The thing is brand new. The CD drive in the computer that's almost 8-years old works perfectly fine. I guess things were better back in the day.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Grindstone
The Machine is actually making progress! Hooray! All in the land of gears is celebrating.
The Electric Six album that comes out in Feb. is very good. Full of dance music, lyrics that don't make sense or have a point and a tour that stops at Double Door makes me like the band.
If all goes as planned, The Machine will give you at least four things per month to attend. Two or more bars where we DJ, a few bands and maybe a party.
A band is practicing downstairs. It sounds like static, a jackhammer and an Iron Maiden 33 played at 45 speed on a Fischer Price record player. They are also smoking weed. I know this because the office smells like weed. I do not smoke. The scent is coming from the vents.
The Electric Six album that comes out in Feb. is very good. Full of dance music, lyrics that don't make sense or have a point and a tour that stops at Double Door makes me like the band.
If all goes as planned, The Machine will give you at least four things per month to attend. Two or more bars where we DJ, a few bands and maybe a party.
A band is practicing downstairs. It sounds like static, a jackhammer and an Iron Maiden 33 played at 45 speed on a Fischer Price record player. They are also smoking weed. I know this because the office smells like weed. I do not smoke. The scent is coming from the vents.
Friday, December 16, 2005
God damn
I did not get the job. There is no progress to report for The Machine. I did drink from 6 pm to 3 am. All but one drink was free. I guess that's good.
I'm depressing you. Fuck off. Go read pitchfork or livejournal or something.
I'm depressing you. Fuck off. Go read pitchfork or livejournal or something.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Saturday's All-Right For Fighting
People need to have snow ball fights. It's good for the soul.
After spending the last 24-hours within a 2-block radius, I needed to go out. I was scheduled to review a show at SubT on Friday night but couldn't due to an extremely painful tooth pain. I was scheduled to read at a monthly event at Mojoe's but didn't due to poor scheduling. I sat around all day with no plans to leave. Around 6 p.m., I decided to get the hell out of Oak Park. Since I hadn't showered in a few days and smelled like smoke, fat and Krispy Kreme doughnuts, I figured I should wash up. So I did. I got on the el around 8 p.m. and got to Mojoe's during the last reading. Oh well. I would have read to the same 8 people I always read to.
Chicago hasn't been hit hard by snow, but today was pretty bad. Since it's been a light season, the snow tonight was great. It was a steady stream but not enough to make driving or walking that difficult. There was enough snow to make the city look like a dream but not enough to keep people indoors.
Following the reading was a trip to a nearby Mexican restaurant. Eight of us sat at a table. Some tattooed, some with facial hairs, some with glasses, some Vegans, some carnivores. A typical mix of "zinesters." Since the person I was expecting to see wasn't there, I asked Lab Rat if I could tag along with him. He said fine. I had something to do.
Jeff has a car. So the three of us drove. Our first destination was a party on the edge of Boystown. It was not a good party. The place was packed with people that are usually at Lincoln Park parties. People that really don't care what music is on, well dressed, clean, in shape, made up in make up, etc. The kind of people that usually don't enjoy the company of Lab Rat, Jeff and me. A little unkempt is better. So we left. Though I invested $5 for a cup at the party and definitely did not get my money's work of beer, it was imperative that we leave. When Lab Rat told me the news, I went to the bathroom. I made my money back in dental floss and hair dye/hair gel. I got my money's worth.
In the alley on the way to the party was a computer monitor. I tried to smash it. I did smash it. I also fell. It was not as glorious as I had hoped.
The second and final party was in Bucktown. The place was about a fifth of the size as the first apartment. The stairs were uneven, the floor slanted and 3-people lived in a place the size of a normal studio apartment. It didn't matter. The party was great. Only 20 or so people were there. It didn't matter. 5 girls, 10-15 guys. It didn't matter. People danced, everyone had a snow-ball fight, there was enough alcohol and no one was trying to impress anyone else. Jeff blew a small ball of fire. Lab Rat tried to. It did not happen. To compensate for his failure he put some cap gun ammo on the stove.
Around 3 a.m., the Lab Rat, Jeff and I left to smoke a hookah. Lab Rat and Jeff fucked around on a keyboard, I played some weird 3-string instrument and Lab Rat free styled over some fucked up beats. It's a good time to note that Lab Rat had the most to drink. It was a good time.
Thanks to Jeff for driving me home. Much appreciated.
It was a good night. I visited two places I'll probably never see again, met some interesting people, got some more dental floss and saw people I don't see enough. Now I'm watching "Sealab 2021" and writing this little memory. It wasn't an exciting night, but one that I enjoyed. I played in a snowball fight on someone’s roof in Bucktown. I danced with no one in particular. I drank enough to maintain a buzz and only spent $5. It was a pretty good night.
After spending the last 24-hours within a 2-block radius, I needed to go out. I was scheduled to review a show at SubT on Friday night but couldn't due to an extremely painful tooth pain. I was scheduled to read at a monthly event at Mojoe's but didn't due to poor scheduling. I sat around all day with no plans to leave. Around 6 p.m., I decided to get the hell out of Oak Park. Since I hadn't showered in a few days and smelled like smoke, fat and Krispy Kreme doughnuts, I figured I should wash up. So I did. I got on the el around 8 p.m. and got to Mojoe's during the last reading. Oh well. I would have read to the same 8 people I always read to.
Chicago hasn't been hit hard by snow, but today was pretty bad. Since it's been a light season, the snow tonight was great. It was a steady stream but not enough to make driving or walking that difficult. There was enough snow to make the city look like a dream but not enough to keep people indoors.
Following the reading was a trip to a nearby Mexican restaurant. Eight of us sat at a table. Some tattooed, some with facial hairs, some with glasses, some Vegans, some carnivores. A typical mix of "zinesters." Since the person I was expecting to see wasn't there, I asked Lab Rat if I could tag along with him. He said fine. I had something to do.
Jeff has a car. So the three of us drove. Our first destination was a party on the edge of Boystown. It was not a good party. The place was packed with people that are usually at Lincoln Park parties. People that really don't care what music is on, well dressed, clean, in shape, made up in make up, etc. The kind of people that usually don't enjoy the company of Lab Rat, Jeff and me. A little unkempt is better. So we left. Though I invested $5 for a cup at the party and definitely did not get my money's work of beer, it was imperative that we leave. When Lab Rat told me the news, I went to the bathroom. I made my money back in dental floss and hair dye/hair gel. I got my money's worth.
In the alley on the way to the party was a computer monitor. I tried to smash it. I did smash it. I also fell. It was not as glorious as I had hoped.
The second and final party was in Bucktown. The place was about a fifth of the size as the first apartment. The stairs were uneven, the floor slanted and 3-people lived in a place the size of a normal studio apartment. It didn't matter. The party was great. Only 20 or so people were there. It didn't matter. 5 girls, 10-15 guys. It didn't matter. People danced, everyone had a snow-ball fight, there was enough alcohol and no one was trying to impress anyone else. Jeff blew a small ball of fire. Lab Rat tried to. It did not happen. To compensate for his failure he put some cap gun ammo on the stove.
Around 3 a.m., the Lab Rat, Jeff and I left to smoke a hookah. Lab Rat and Jeff fucked around on a keyboard, I played some weird 3-string instrument and Lab Rat free styled over some fucked up beats. It's a good time to note that Lab Rat had the most to drink. It was a good time.
Thanks to Jeff for driving me home. Much appreciated.
It was a good night. I visited two places I'll probably never see again, met some interesting people, got some more dental floss and saw people I don't see enough. Now I'm watching "Sealab 2021" and writing this little memory. It wasn't an exciting night, but one that I enjoyed. I played in a snowball fight on someone’s roof in Bucktown. I danced with no one in particular. I drank enough to maintain a buzz and only spent $5. It was a pretty good night.
What I Would Have Read Aloud
The following is what I was going to read at Mojoe's on December 3 2005.
The title is "Dear America."
-I was 5-feet behind three late-20-something females on the way to the el. One would turn her head every five seconds or so. After two blocks, the three stopped to look at an Italian restaurant's menu. They were scared of me. They were not scared to talk to a homeless guy when we shared the same el car.
-Tool makes me wish for the apocalypse.
-People that write to the op-ed section of newspapers should not begin their letter with, "Dear American, I'm fed up..."
-I spent the day listing my top 100 albums, videos and artists of all-time for no reason.
-50 Cent needs to go away. Not die, but release a string of albums that no one buys.
-It sucks that a kid died because he was sledding directly into traffic. It's not a tragedy that the drive of the pickup truck did not stop. It sucks but the kid was asking for it. It's really going to suck on Monday when some paper prints, "Dear America, It's a tragedy that the guy driving that pickup didn't stop."
-I find Kelly Clarkson more attractive with each passing day.
-I have a hole in my tooth that's been bothering me. Yesterday was really bad. I spent an hour and a half trying to pull it out with gloves (I couldn't get a grip without them). Then I spent an hour trying to get it out with a wrench. That didn't work.
-The Kedzie green line stop is my favorite el stop. They let me in after my card wouldn't read. The State/Lake, Clark/Lake, Clinton, Ashland and California stops wouldn't.
-Aborting drug babies isn't going against god. Having drug babies is doing the devil's work.
-If my mom really believes all Jewish people are rich, why didn't she baptize me Jewish?
-I want to have ball cancer, have the cancer ball taken out and recover. No problems, just one ball instead of two. Then I would have a license to kill. And not just kill brown people, but all people. No male jury would convict the guy that had ball cancer.
-If you're riding the el with a friend and the car is crowded, sit with said friend. Don't wear your IPod and talk to each other across the aisle. It makes me want to write a "Dear America" op-ed piece.
-The German language just sounds evil.
-When things are really grim, I take NyQuil.
-I want to marry Rachel Weisz, have an affair with Kelly Clarkson and have David Bowie stalk me. Then, I want Kanye West and Jon Brion to produce the David Bowie album that is about stalking me. Bowie and Clarkson would do a duet and Rachel Weisz would be on the album's cover.
If this happens, 6 months later I'll get ball cancer. Weisz will divorce me, Clarkson won't see me and Bowie will get bored of me so I'll all of them. After being acquitted, I'll publish a book called "Dear America." It'll be a picture book with German captions.
-Chimichanga is a fun word to say.
-Why would anyone buy a commemorative jacket? I.E. "Super Bowl XXVIII"
-My goal as a father is to never have a daughter that refers to her as a cum-bucket, cum-dumpster or any other receptacle prefaced with the word cum.
-Every time I get on a new el car, I look around and decide who will be my lifelong companion if we crash and are trapped for the rest of eternity. I think I found someone on this car. Wait. No. She's reading "People."
The title is "Dear America."
-I was 5-feet behind three late-20-something females on the way to the el. One would turn her head every five seconds or so. After two blocks, the three stopped to look at an Italian restaurant's menu. They were scared of me. They were not scared to talk to a homeless guy when we shared the same el car.
-Tool makes me wish for the apocalypse.
-People that write to the op-ed section of newspapers should not begin their letter with, "Dear American, I'm fed up..."
-I spent the day listing my top 100 albums, videos and artists of all-time for no reason.
-50 Cent needs to go away. Not die, but release a string of albums that no one buys.
-It sucks that a kid died because he was sledding directly into traffic. It's not a tragedy that the drive of the pickup truck did not stop. It sucks but the kid was asking for it. It's really going to suck on Monday when some paper prints, "Dear America, It's a tragedy that the guy driving that pickup didn't stop."
-I find Kelly Clarkson more attractive with each passing day.
-I have a hole in my tooth that's been bothering me. Yesterday was really bad. I spent an hour and a half trying to pull it out with gloves (I couldn't get a grip without them). Then I spent an hour trying to get it out with a wrench. That didn't work.
-The Kedzie green line stop is my favorite el stop. They let me in after my card wouldn't read. The State/Lake, Clark/Lake, Clinton, Ashland and California stops wouldn't.
-Aborting drug babies isn't going against god. Having drug babies is doing the devil's work.
-If my mom really believes all Jewish people are rich, why didn't she baptize me Jewish?
-I want to have ball cancer, have the cancer ball taken out and recover. No problems, just one ball instead of two. Then I would have a license to kill. And not just kill brown people, but all people. No male jury would convict the guy that had ball cancer.
-If you're riding the el with a friend and the car is crowded, sit with said friend. Don't wear your IPod and talk to each other across the aisle. It makes me want to write a "Dear America" op-ed piece.
-The German language just sounds evil.
-When things are really grim, I take NyQuil.
-I want to marry Rachel Weisz, have an affair with Kelly Clarkson and have David Bowie stalk me. Then, I want Kanye West and Jon Brion to produce the David Bowie album that is about stalking me. Bowie and Clarkson would do a duet and Rachel Weisz would be on the album's cover.
If this happens, 6 months later I'll get ball cancer. Weisz will divorce me, Clarkson won't see me and Bowie will get bored of me so I'll all of them. After being acquitted, I'll publish a book called "Dear America." It'll be a picture book with German captions.
-Chimichanga is a fun word to say.
-Why would anyone buy a commemorative jacket? I.E. "Super Bowl XXVIII"
-My goal as a father is to never have a daughter that refers to her as a cum-bucket, cum-dumpster or any other receptacle prefaced with the word cum.
-Every time I get on a new el car, I look around and decide who will be my lifelong companion if we crash and are trapped for the rest of eternity. I think I found someone on this car. Wait. No. She's reading "People."
Monday, November 28, 2005
Early
It's not 11 p.m. and I'm very tired. This is no good.
Instead of doing work, I'm doing nothing. At least I used to make to-do lists. I haven't done that in a few weeks.
I'll start one tomorrow.
Wait, since I just typed that, isn't that in it of itself a to-do list?
It is. At least I think it is.
Instead of doing work, I'm doing nothing. At least I used to make to-do lists. I haven't done that in a few weeks.
I'll start one tomorrow.
Wait, since I just typed that, isn't that in it of itself a to-do list?
It is. At least I think it is.
Thanks
To everyone that came to the Bottle last night. It was fun.
Staring at a computer screen everyday at work doesn't make me want to update this thing as much as I should.
Staring at a computer screen everyday at work doesn't make me want to update this thing as much as I should.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Funny
The story about the two guys that escaped from prison and posed as Katrina victims is funny. It sucks for the real victims, but it's still funny.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
I really have nothing to say
Issue 2 should be online by the beginning of next week. That’s good.
I’ll be DJing at Liar’s Club on December 1, my birthday. Please come. Please do not buy me a drink. I get them for free.
It seems that when I type the word where, the second e usually ends up capitalized. Weird? I don’t know. Insignificant? Yes.
I bought two masks today. One is a snow owl, one is for a mental hospital patient that likes to eat faces. FUN TIMES U.S.A!!!
I’m listening to the new Wilco live album. I’m not sure how I feel about it. It’s kind of boring, but I expected it to be kind of boring.
I’ll be DJing at Liar’s Club on December 1, my birthday. Please come. Please do not buy me a drink. I get them for free.
It seems that when I type the word where, the second e usually ends up capitalized. Weird? I don’t know. Insignificant? Yes.
I bought two masks today. One is a snow owl, one is for a mental hospital patient that likes to eat faces. FUN TIMES U.S.A!!!
I’m listening to the new Wilco live album. I’m not sure how I feel about it. It’s kind of boring, but I expected it to be kind of boring.
Traversing
Rather than just sit here and be complacent with the infomercial that is blaring at me, behind me, I will update the entire WORLD of the goings-ons of my life. It will be fantastic.
I visited four bars tonight. I am not drunk, nor have I been drunk because of drinking boooooze tonight.
Delilah's had very few patrons. The DJ played what he wanted. He played Howlin Wolf, The Undertones, Gene Vincent and more music that I like. Max would have liked it. Instead, he is in Europe, probably setting fires. Kelsey and I played pool.
The Empty Bottle show is coming up. YAY! THINGS TO DO!
"Somebody Put Something In My Drink" by the Ramones is a bad song. No ifs, ands or buts about it.
My face will one day be on a t-shirt. It will be a negative portrayel of me. Do not buy such a shirt. Fuck you if you do. In fact, fuck all of you. Why haven't you put me on a t-shirt? You're all so dumb.
I visited four bars tonight. I am not drunk, nor have I been drunk because of drinking boooooze tonight.
Delilah's had very few patrons. The DJ played what he wanted. He played Howlin Wolf, The Undertones, Gene Vincent and more music that I like. Max would have liked it. Instead, he is in Europe, probably setting fires. Kelsey and I played pool.
The Empty Bottle show is coming up. YAY! THINGS TO DO!
"Somebody Put Something In My Drink" by the Ramones is a bad song. No ifs, ands or buts about it.
My face will one day be on a t-shirt. It will be a negative portrayel of me. Do not buy such a shirt. Fuck you if you do. In fact, fuck all of you. Why haven't you put me on a t-shirt? You're all so dumb.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Hooray for metal!
Zach Wylde is playing next door. About 10 of Jeremy's friends came over to drink before the show. All of them have on black leather Black Label Society vests. They are all very polite. Yay for metal.
This can't be good
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: foulinc |
Friday, November 11, 2005
I want to conquer the world
Mike and I saw Bad Religion. They were good.
I finally have a job interview. Though it's only $10 an hour, it's something. Thanks to everyone who gave me help in what to do. I appreciate it.
Kelsey, Mike, Steve and some guy I know but don't know the name of are drinking in The Machine. It's after 1 am on a Thursday night/Friday morning. "When the Levee Breaks" is on. Ironic?
My heart feels weird.
I finally have a job interview. Though it's only $10 an hour, it's something. Thanks to everyone who gave me help in what to do. I appreciate it.
Kelsey, Mike, Steve and some guy I know but don't know the name of are drinking in The Machine. It's after 1 am on a Thursday night/Friday morning. "When the Levee Breaks" is on. Ironic?
My heart feels weird.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Summer teeth
I’ve always thought that Corus bank is the low-class of the banks. All the tellers seem to be college dropouts. No one with any real money would ever use it as their sole bank. I used to think that this was one of the reasons I used it as my bank. No longer. I feel like a loser every time I go in there. I have to ask for my balance because I no longer have an ATM card. Then I get my balance. I may have a college degree, but the guy behind the counter has more than $7.40 in his account.
After leaving my bank, I headed over to The Machine. In July, this place was great. As time passed, the place has become a sour reminder of how I’m fucking up. There really isn’t anything I can do, besides get a full-time job, to get this fucker in print. So if anyone knows of anyone who can and will hire me, let me know. If not, well, then the magazine has been printed, you just don’t have one because they flew off shelves (or in this case, floors).
So with no real purpose and not enough money to do much of anything, I’ve decided to head to Pilsen for some photos that need to be taken. After that jaunt, I will travel to Chinatown. Chinatown usually makes me somewhat happy. I have no bad memories associated with the place and the noodle place I always go to is cheap.
But before I leave, I must find some company. It’s this weird desire to spread the wealth of my boredom. I will offer nothing insightful or witty, but I will pay for your meal, so you better come. So for the past hour or so, I’ve been looking for comrades online with no luck. This has led me to myspace. Rather than sit here and feel sorry for myself, I try to add hundreds of “friends” for Fetor. Why? I have no idea why. It gets my mind off of things, at least it used to. I just spent three and half minutes on some 16-year olds page because she was streaming “Me and Mia” by Ted Leo. And that, is fucked up.
I first read “Seize the Day” during the summer of 2001. I didn’t like the book. It didn’t click with me or something. I was forced to re-read it in my junior or senior year at DePaul. It’s now one of my favorite books. I’m starting to understand why Tommy Wilhelm loses his mind. I might not have an ex-wife, kids, money or a father, but I do think I can relate. God damn. Things could be a lot worse. I could have a Corgan sized ego.
After leaving my bank, I headed over to The Machine. In July, this place was great. As time passed, the place has become a sour reminder of how I’m fucking up. There really isn’t anything I can do, besides get a full-time job, to get this fucker in print. So if anyone knows of anyone who can and will hire me, let me know. If not, well, then the magazine has been printed, you just don’t have one because they flew off shelves (or in this case, floors).
So with no real purpose and not enough money to do much of anything, I’ve decided to head to Pilsen for some photos that need to be taken. After that jaunt, I will travel to Chinatown. Chinatown usually makes me somewhat happy. I have no bad memories associated with the place and the noodle place I always go to is cheap.
But before I leave, I must find some company. It’s this weird desire to spread the wealth of my boredom. I will offer nothing insightful or witty, but I will pay for your meal, so you better come. So for the past hour or so, I’ve been looking for comrades online with no luck. This has led me to myspace. Rather than sit here and feel sorry for myself, I try to add hundreds of “friends” for Fetor. Why? I have no idea why. It gets my mind off of things, at least it used to. I just spent three and half minutes on some 16-year olds page because she was streaming “Me and Mia” by Ted Leo. And that, is fucked up.
I first read “Seize the Day” during the summer of 2001. I didn’t like the book. It didn’t click with me or something. I was forced to re-read it in my junior or senior year at DePaul. It’s now one of my favorite books. I’m starting to understand why Tommy Wilhelm loses his mind. I might not have an ex-wife, kids, money or a father, but I do think I can relate. God damn. Things could be a lot worse. I could have a Corgan sized ego.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Killing
This entire week has been a waste. No job leads, no progress on the magazine, no fun. The only positive is having another song for the band. That isn't a joke.
I'm about to head over to the Brain. Stop by. I'll be standing/sitting near the door til 2. We can share a story and then fight over the relevance of a "Rocky VI" in the year 2005.
I'm about to head over to the Brain. Stop by. I'll be standing/sitting near the door til 2. We can share a story and then fight over the relevance of a "Rocky VI" in the year 2005.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Not the Lord's day
Why did we stay out so late? It was a Tuesday for Christ’s sake.
Mike wanted to get out of his house last night. So we did. Like most 22-year olds that want to get out of their house at 10 p.m., he wanted to drink. Fine by me.
The two of us began our adventure with a nice, chilly walk from my mom’s apartment. We arrived at the less than classy Shortstop Lounge 20 minutes later. Though Mike grew up just a few blocks from the saloon, he had never been inside. It was my fifth or so time drinking in Forest Park and it was already my second time at said establishment.
The bar has a unique drink special, $3.50 mason jars of Millet Lite, PBR and MGD. The regulars seem to match the specials, cheap but rewarding. In the three and a half hours spent at the establishment, we saw a young fellow try to steal one (ONE!) bottle of opened beer, a middle-aged man play most of Gwen Stefani’s album “for the ladies” (there were 4 ladies in the entire place) and one of the ladies swear at a video poker machine like a sailor with a love for Dennis Leary.
Mike and I were not done at 2 a.m. We decided to continue our adventure and head northeast to Underbar.
Underbar is a 4 a.m. establishment. It’s not that cheap, but the clientele is somewhat “hip” and we were lucky to have a place to sit. Dan, a bartender at the Hungry Brain, the bar I work at, was there drinking with his pal Mike.
“Mike, this is my friend Mike.”
“Hey, Mike.”
“Mike plays bass.”
“I play treble.”
Clever.
Since no trip to Underbar is complete without a visit to Blue Light, Mike and I went next door to one of the sleaziest bars in the city. Blue Light is the kind of place that caters to people with wandering eyes, poor teeth and low standards. In our 30-minutes there, the bartender threatened to “put you guys in the corner,” heard Cher’s “Believe,” sang along to Cher’s “Believe,” petted a dog to the beat of Cher’s “Believe” and Mike called a friend at 3:49 a.m. asking if she wanted to pick up a “McBeer” with him.
Don’t piss on Underbar. Nothing good ever comes from pissing on Underbar. I’ll leave it at that.
I got home at 4:45 a.m. Mike had work at 9 a.m. in Des Plaines. It was a Tuesday night.
Mike wanted to get out of his house last night. So we did. Like most 22-year olds that want to get out of their house at 10 p.m., he wanted to drink. Fine by me.
The two of us began our adventure with a nice, chilly walk from my mom’s apartment. We arrived at the less than classy Shortstop Lounge 20 minutes later. Though Mike grew up just a few blocks from the saloon, he had never been inside. It was my fifth or so time drinking in Forest Park and it was already my second time at said establishment.
The bar has a unique drink special, $3.50 mason jars of Millet Lite, PBR and MGD. The regulars seem to match the specials, cheap but rewarding. In the three and a half hours spent at the establishment, we saw a young fellow try to steal one (ONE!) bottle of opened beer, a middle-aged man play most of Gwen Stefani’s album “for the ladies” (there were 4 ladies in the entire place) and one of the ladies swear at a video poker machine like a sailor with a love for Dennis Leary.
Mike and I were not done at 2 a.m. We decided to continue our adventure and head northeast to Underbar.
Underbar is a 4 a.m. establishment. It’s not that cheap, but the clientele is somewhat “hip” and we were lucky to have a place to sit. Dan, a bartender at the Hungry Brain, the bar I work at, was there drinking with his pal Mike.
“Mike, this is my friend Mike.”
“Hey, Mike.”
“Mike plays bass.”
“I play treble.”
Clever.
Since no trip to Underbar is complete without a visit to Blue Light, Mike and I went next door to one of the sleaziest bars in the city. Blue Light is the kind of place that caters to people with wandering eyes, poor teeth and low standards. In our 30-minutes there, the bartender threatened to “put you guys in the corner,” heard Cher’s “Believe,” sang along to Cher’s “Believe,” petted a dog to the beat of Cher’s “Believe” and Mike called a friend at 3:49 a.m. asking if she wanted to pick up a “McBeer” with him.
Don’t piss on Underbar. Nothing good ever comes from pissing on Underbar. I’ll leave it at that.
I got home at 4:45 a.m. Mike had work at 9 a.m. in Des Plaines. It was a Tuesday night.
Sabine's blog did this
Leave your name and
1. I'll respond with a celebrity you remind me of.
-kurt cobain or a bum
2. I'll tell you what I really think about you.
-you're an incredibly talented and gifted artist, i wish you'd get a leg up
3. I'll tell you what song you remind me of.
-any nirvana song
4. My favorite memory of you.
-"wanna blow this popsicle stand and get a drink?" turns into drinking boone's farm at 11am. OORRRRR HIM AND MONSTER MAGNET!!
5. I'll tell you what cartoon you remind me of.
-doug
6. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
I love this shit and I have no idea why. If you leave a message on the post with your name, I'll do the same.
1. I'll respond with a celebrity you remind me of.
-kurt cobain or a bum
2. I'll tell you what I really think about you.
-you're an incredibly talented and gifted artist, i wish you'd get a leg up
3. I'll tell you what song you remind me of.
-any nirvana song
4. My favorite memory of you.
-"wanna blow this popsicle stand and get a drink?" turns into drinking boone's farm at 11am. OORRRRR HIM AND MONSTER MAGNET!!
5. I'll tell you what cartoon you remind me of.
-doug
6. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
I love this shit and I have no idea why. If you leave a message on the post with your name, I'll do the same.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Same town
Screeching Weasel comes from the same suburbs as I do. Ben Weasel lives in the same town I do, I'm pretty sure down the block.
This seems to be the most boring Halloween yet. It's raining, I'm too old to trick-or-treat, inappropriate to have or go to a party and the day seems to have a negative feel. What the fuck?
This seems to be the most boring Halloween yet. It's raining, I'm too old to trick-or-treat, inappropriate to have or go to a party and the day seems to have a negative feel. What the fuck?
Thursday, October 27, 2005
The week in review
The past week has been pretty fun, but not full of work.
We got a new printing quote, much better than the last one. Both issues should be out by the Empty Bottle show.
I’m all over the place on this one. I’ll try to start from last Friday.
Friday night was enjoyable, Kelsey, Merle, John and I had dinner at Lincoln Restaurant at a normal dinner hour. From there we went to the Mutiny to see Twin Wrecks the Memory. The group was great and by the time we left Kelsey and I had finally digested our wonderful meal. After hanging out in the Chicago version of CBGBs, we headed over to Pilsen for some party that Jason was at. The party was actually pretty good. I saw Micah (and his dick for the 100th time) and got intoxicated gratis. Since it was only 3 a.m. when we left, we decided to head back up north and stop at UnderBar. Rather than watch two 35-year olds make out outside, we went a few doors over to a different 5 a.m. bar. One drink in, we decided to head out. But we couldn’t find Jason. He had been kicked out for using the women’s bathroom. His cell phone was dead. Dale was pissed. Then Emerson, Jan and Dan from Hungry Brain got there. So we stayed til close. It was a long night.
Saturday wasn’t nearly as exciting, but was still fun. I watched the Sox game at The Machine and did layout work on issue 2. Both should be out (in print) by the Empty Bottle show. We have a month. Once the Sox won, Kelsey and I picked up Merle and John and headed over to the Old Chocolate Factory. Izom, the guys we rent from, were playing and we figured it we should check them out. They were awesome. None of us are big metal fans, but we know a good live act when we see one. They are a good live act. Once the keg was tapped (I realize I sound like a frat boy (Sorry, Mike)) we headed back to the office. John tried to fix Kelsey's computer and the rest of us listened to the Beach Boys, The Cars and M.I.A.
Sunday. Stuff happened Sunday. I don't remember what.
Rather than go to Carol's like we do every Monday night, Kelsey and I decided to try out Bingo at the California Clipper. Sarah and Emerson were there and it was a pleasant evening. We even got a Gwen Stefani poster for the office out of the trip (Thank you, Sarah).
Kelsey, Laura, Brian, Manny, Chris and some guy from Scotland watched the Sox game at Full Shilling, a bar across the street from Wrigley Field until the 10th inning. After not tipping enough (I ran out of $), we left and watched the rest of the game at Kelsey's. She passed out. I watched the longest game in World Series history.
The Sox won the World Series last night. I interviewed Canasta last night. Kelsey and I watched three episodes of "Arrested Development" last night.
I'm currently sitting at Kelsey's desk, trying to finish up a post I began 4-hours ago. Sarah is here, fixing up issue 1.
Post summary: I did stuff, I write like a pre-teen girl who just got back from an awesome mall trip.
We got a new printing quote, much better than the last one. Both issues should be out by the Empty Bottle show.
I’m all over the place on this one. I’ll try to start from last Friday.
Friday night was enjoyable, Kelsey, Merle, John and I had dinner at Lincoln Restaurant at a normal dinner hour. From there we went to the Mutiny to see Twin Wrecks the Memory. The group was great and by the time we left Kelsey and I had finally digested our wonderful meal. After hanging out in the Chicago version of CBGBs, we headed over to Pilsen for some party that Jason was at. The party was actually pretty good. I saw Micah (and his dick for the 100th time) and got intoxicated gratis. Since it was only 3 a.m. when we left, we decided to head back up north and stop at UnderBar. Rather than watch two 35-year olds make out outside, we went a few doors over to a different 5 a.m. bar. One drink in, we decided to head out. But we couldn’t find Jason. He had been kicked out for using the women’s bathroom. His cell phone was dead. Dale was pissed. Then Emerson, Jan and Dan from Hungry Brain got there. So we stayed til close. It was a long night.
Saturday wasn’t nearly as exciting, but was still fun. I watched the Sox game at The Machine and did layout work on issue 2. Both should be out (in print) by the Empty Bottle show. We have a month. Once the Sox won, Kelsey and I picked up Merle and John and headed over to the Old Chocolate Factory. Izom, the guys we rent from, were playing and we figured it we should check them out. They were awesome. None of us are big metal fans, but we know a good live act when we see one. They are a good live act. Once the keg was tapped (I realize I sound like a frat boy (Sorry, Mike)) we headed back to the office. John tried to fix Kelsey's computer and the rest of us listened to the Beach Boys, The Cars and M.I.A.
Sunday. Stuff happened Sunday. I don't remember what.
Rather than go to Carol's like we do every Monday night, Kelsey and I decided to try out Bingo at the California Clipper. Sarah and Emerson were there and it was a pleasant evening. We even got a Gwen Stefani poster for the office out of the trip (Thank you, Sarah).
Kelsey, Laura, Brian, Manny, Chris and some guy from Scotland watched the Sox game at Full Shilling, a bar across the street from Wrigley Field until the 10th inning. After not tipping enough (I ran out of $), we left and watched the rest of the game at Kelsey's. She passed out. I watched the longest game in World Series history.
The Sox won the World Series last night. I interviewed Canasta last night. Kelsey and I watched three episodes of "Arrested Development" last night.
I'm currently sitting at Kelsey's desk, trying to finish up a post I began 4-hours ago. Sarah is here, fixing up issue 1.
Post summary: I did stuff, I write like a pre-teen girl who just got back from an awesome mall trip.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Bitch, blog, bitch
This thing is supposed to chronicle what it's like to put out a magazine. Sometimes it does touch upon said subject, sometimes not. The goal of this post is to tie together all the snippets in my life and show how everything in my life is now attached to The Machine.
I'm currently writing this in The Machine office. +
In the past week I've: sent out emails to some writers about deadlines, began layout on issue 2, edited issue 1 to stay current, added Google ads to the site, requested new printing quotes, compiled articles for issue 2, compiled art for issue 2, contacted photographers for shots, scheduled interviews...+
I got drunk on Friday, Saturday and Monday night. -
I did Machine work while drunk on Saturday and night. +
But I still don't have a full-time job, which means I can't print the magazine, which means we won't get ads for future issues. There is the dilemma. Unlike Nelly and Kelly Rowland's dilemma, I will not be able to be a guest on B.E.T.'s 106 and Park.
---
Slipknot is playing the Congress tonight and tomorrow night. The security guards keep trying to get in the office. Fuck Bucktown.
---
Kelsey and I saw "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" last night. It was pretty good. If all goes as planned we'll see "Gunner Palace" tonight. I'm trying to attend one happening a night for free. So far, so good.
---
I've got to get on the Blue Line now. If I wait any longer, I'll lose my transfer.
I'm currently writing this in The Machine office. +
In the past week I've: sent out emails to some writers about deadlines, began layout on issue 2, edited issue 1 to stay current, added Google ads to the site, requested new printing quotes, compiled articles for issue 2, compiled art for issue 2, contacted photographers for shots, scheduled interviews...+
I got drunk on Friday, Saturday and Monday night. -
I did Machine work while drunk on Saturday and night. +
But I still don't have a full-time job, which means I can't print the magazine, which means we won't get ads for future issues. There is the dilemma. Unlike Nelly and Kelly Rowland's dilemma, I will not be able to be a guest on B.E.T.'s 106 and Park.
---
Slipknot is playing the Congress tonight and tomorrow night. The security guards keep trying to get in the office. Fuck Bucktown.
---
Kelsey and I saw "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" last night. It was pretty good. If all goes as planned we'll see "Gunner Palace" tonight. I'm trying to attend one happening a night for free. So far, so good.
---
I've got to get on the Blue Line now. If I wait any longer, I'll lose my transfer.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Zines
I picked up a really cool zine today at the UIC Zine Fest. It's called "Free Advice: regular people tell you what they thing." I started reading it at the UIC/Halsted blue line stop and by the time I hit Wester, I was done. The thing is great. If you ever see it, I recommend picking it up.
I'm only trusting albums that won't let me down. I need "In Utero" and "Of This Blood." They're the only ones that I can understand. I guess that's what happens after you drank too much. It's too late/early to comprehend anything else. But it's what I deserve. At least they're good. Too good. Things that I will not be able to beat. I'll keep trying, but I won't be able to reach what they have.
I keep dropping my cigarette on myself. I'm not sure how much more my pants can take. I'll find out soon.
Sarah is getting married. She's my age. I can't afford to go to her wedding. I'm sorrry Sarah. I wish I could be there. I wish you nothing but the best. I am not ready to get married. God knows I'm not. Not that I believe in god, but I do believe in age old sayings. I also belive in the Beach Boys. If Brian Wilson wrote it, it must be good.
Max and Amy are leaving for new jobs. Good job guys. I will not be leaving. I'm sorry, but I just can't. There is too much here that I need. I hope you understand.
Johnny Cash is a man to look up to because he was more flawed that most of us. He knew what he wanted, but he didn't know how to handle anything. Without the women in his life, he was useless. Drugged up, drunk and unable to perform. I believe that most men feel this way, they just don't know it. I may only be drunk, but I know I'm flawed. I'm not the worst,but I'm certantly not the best.
The Chicago Public School system is fucking me up more than anything else. I didn't even go to a Chicago public school, but I know the damage they're inflicting. Racism does exist, just not how you picture it.
Whatever I write here won't get out to the people that need to read it. Professionals don't read blogs. Only people who name check do. I can't judge. If a blog doesn't have Brandon or Wetherbee written anywhere in it, I usually don't read it. Unless it's a friend or a good writer, it's useless. Therefore, most blogs are useless. This one is.
I'm going to go back to listening to Detachment Kit's "Of This Blood."
I keep dropping my cigarette on myself. I'm not sure how much more my pants can take. I'll find out soon.
Sarah is getting married. She's my age. I can't afford to go to her wedding. I'm sorrry Sarah. I wish I could be there. I wish you nothing but the best. I am not ready to get married. God knows I'm not. Not that I believe in god, but I do believe in age old sayings. I also belive in the Beach Boys. If Brian Wilson wrote it, it must be good.
Max and Amy are leaving for new jobs. Good job guys. I will not be leaving. I'm sorry, but I just can't. There is too much here that I need. I hope you understand.
Johnny Cash is a man to look up to because he was more flawed that most of us. He knew what he wanted, but he didn't know how to handle anything. Without the women in his life, he was useless. Drugged up, drunk and unable to perform. I believe that most men feel this way, they just don't know it. I may only be drunk, but I know I'm flawed. I'm not the worst,but I'm certantly not the best.
The Chicago Public School system is fucking me up more than anything else. I didn't even go to a Chicago public school, but I know the damage they're inflicting. Racism does exist, just not how you picture it.
Whatever I write here won't get out to the people that need to read it. Professionals don't read blogs. Only people who name check do. I can't judge. If a blog doesn't have Brandon or Wetherbee written anywhere in it, I usually don't read it. Unless it's a friend or a good writer, it's useless. Therefore, most blogs are useless. This one is.
I'm going to go back to listening to Detachment Kit's "Of This Blood."
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Say You'll Be There"
Take the quiz: "Which'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=5012">"Which Spice Girl Are You?"
Posh spice (Victoria)
You my friend are most like posh spice. youre sophisticated, fun loving, and a really nice person (deapite what people may think). you love to hang out and have fun and you always look good. some people think youre just a rich snob, but youre actually a nice, fun person!
Posh spice (Victoria)
You my friend are most like posh spice. youre sophisticated, fun loving, and a really nice person (deapite what people may think). you love to hang out and have fun and you always look good. some people think youre just a rich snob, but youre actually a nice, fun person!
Pain repeated over and over
When "You Know You're Right" by Nirvana was first linked, I put the link to the mp3 on Fetor's web site. I would listen to the song on repeat for hours at a time. A few years later, I once again have the mp3 of the song. I am listening to the song on repeat. Probably for hours at a time.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
We don't have to breed
I’ve spend two hours on the el today. The last 20-minutes were the worst. On a brown line train from the loop, six kids that belonged to Iowa State football fans were running around. The loudest was a 9 or 10 year-old boy that kept making suicide jokes. They weren’t funny. Behind me was a Q101 employee (I know this because her hoodie said “Q101 employee”) bitching to a fellow co-worker about song levels.
I hope the brown line train from the loop derails.
I hope the brown line train from the loop derails.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The one where Young has devil horns
The Machine office has about 100 cds and 100 records. Whenever I don’t know what I want to listen to, I put on AC/DC’s “Highway To Hell.”
AC/DC is possibly the only band that sounds better to me every time I hear them. Sure, I haven’t liked anything they’ve put out since 1990, but it doesn’t matter. The entire Bon Scott era is damn near perfect and the first 10-years of Brian Johnson was good too.
I don’t like AC/DC because they sing about sex, drugs and rock and roll. I don’t like AC/DC for their Australian take on the blues. I don’t like AC/DC because of Angus Young’s guitar solos. I love AC/DC because their music matches their subject matter. Led Zeppelin’s music does not match their lyrical content. I don’t think of Frodo when I hear them, even though Mr. Plant is singing about him. Black Sabbath sang about evil shit, but their music wasn’t evil enough for me. “Fat Bottom Girls” by Queen is the best example of music and lyrics that just don’t fit. I’m sorry Mr. Mercury, but all songs about ass should be bass heavy.
AC/DC has released some of my favorite music of all time. I’ll listen to it alone, at a party, in a bar, during service, at a funeral…it doesn’t matter, because if I want blood, I got it.
AC/DC is possibly the only band that sounds better to me every time I hear them. Sure, I haven’t liked anything they’ve put out since 1990, but it doesn’t matter. The entire Bon Scott era is damn near perfect and the first 10-years of Brian Johnson was good too.
I don’t like AC/DC because they sing about sex, drugs and rock and roll. I don’t like AC/DC for their Australian take on the blues. I don’t like AC/DC because of Angus Young’s guitar solos. I love AC/DC because their music matches their subject matter. Led Zeppelin’s music does not match their lyrical content. I don’t think of Frodo when I hear them, even though Mr. Plant is singing about him. Black Sabbath sang about evil shit, but their music wasn’t evil enough for me. “Fat Bottom Girls” by Queen is the best example of music and lyrics that just don’t fit. I’m sorry Mr. Mercury, but all songs about ass should be bass heavy.
AC/DC has released some of my favorite music of all time. I’ll listen to it alone, at a party, in a bar, during service, at a funeral…it doesn’t matter, because if I want blood, I got it.
Site work
I'm pretty much done with the basic design for the radio, events and about page on The Machine site. They're not good, but they're something.
It's now time to get back to harassing businesses for ads. Always fun.
It's now time to get back to harassing businesses for ads. Always fun.
Friday, October 07, 2005
I ain't got nobody
In the last dream I had last night, there was a song in my head. I had never heard the song before. Therefore, it was my song. It was awesome. When I woke up, I could no longer remember how the song sounds. Instead, “Just a Gigolo” was in my head. Fuck you David Lee Roth.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Best soundtrack of the year
The soundtrack for the video game Stubbs the Zombie is awesome. 13 bands covering classic pop songs. Awesome. I might now be a fan of Death Cab for Cutie. I love this soundtrack. I am impressed by this soundtrack. Good job Shout Factory.
I'm really glad that I don't have to turn this into an album review. I'd rather gush about the album.
I'm really glad that I don't have to turn this into an album review. I'd rather gush about the album.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
The more you know
What is on the loveseat? It is cocaine.
When the guy that was sitting on the seat got up, he looked down at the seat, swore a lot, then walked away. It was delightful.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Step Two
The moral of this picture is if you hang out after a show, you will get a photo with a member of the band. In this case, the only member of the band that I wanted to meet.
Step One
The Dandy Warhols at CBGB. This is my first of two touristy pictures that involve the band.
Pointless
I just realized that it doesn't matter how many posts I make today, the Lincoln photo will still be there. Honest Abe is haunting me.
To Do
I find myself making to do lists whenever I'm at a bar. It's not that I'm having a bad time or want to avoid interaction with other people. I just feel compelled to write down a list of everything I need to do. It's odd, but not that odd. I'm sure that other people are like this. If they aren't, everyone but me is lazy. Assholes.
"Stay On My Side Tonight"
The new Jimmy Eat World EP is really good. I'm shocked by how much I like it. Good job JEW.
Reviewing CDs
When you work at a radio station, you review a lot of CDs. So far today, I've reviewed the new Neil Young, Atmosphere, Matt Pond PA, The Fall and The Juliana Theory. The Juliana Theory sucks ass. They don't deserve anything but pain that will make them stop playing instruments. Horrible. God awful.
Reason
The reason why I'm posting so much today is so that the Lincoln photo will leave the front page. Once it does, the links and profile will come back to the top. Then I will post what I wrote at CMJ. That's one reason.
I wrote this on an envelope at the Hungry Brain last night
Museums in the future will just be a collection of hard drives.
The White Stripes
Matt really hates The White Stripes. So I'm making him listen to an entire concert. Ha.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Waste of time
I went to the Small Business Association office. The following are the three things that the gentleman that talked to me said numerous times.
"$5,000 isn't a lot of money."
"Why don't you just save up for the money?"
"Don't you know anyone that will loan you money?"
"$5,000 isn't a lot of money."
"Why don't you just save up for the money?"
"Don't you know anyone that will loan you money?"
Monday, September 26, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
One more thing
The full version of The Machine is almost done. By the end of the week you will be able to read all of the content in the PDF version and download songs that we actually like (no pay for play on this thing). It will be good. Good times. Any time you need a payment. Good times. Any time you need a friend.
"Sunday Morning"
Getting back into the swing of things hasn't been that easy. Before leaving, I would write at least 2,000 words a day. Since returning, I'm lucky if I've written 2,000 words total. Instead of concentrating on the writing aspect of The Machine, I'm too busy trying to think of a way to finance it. So far I've come up with...
-male prostitution
-selling fake green cards
-marrying a heiress
-kidnapping a child star
-kidnapping and then marrying heiress/child star before selling them into prostitution
-male prostitution
-selling fake green cards
-marrying a heiress
-kidnapping a child star
-kidnapping and then marrying heiress/child star before selling them into prostitution
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Crawl
The lack of updates are due to: being in NYC for a week, not knowing where to sleep for 4-days, going to the radio station everyday and not the office for a week and I'm a dick. Those are the reasons.
Most of the content for Issue 2 is in. Now it's time to edit and make sure we have all the artwork we need. I have a feeling we have none of the artwork we need.
Most of the content for Issue 2 is in. Now it's time to edit and make sure we have all the artwork we need. I have a feeling we have none of the artwork we need.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
I like music, update
Here's my top 10 of 2005 as of today
1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Dangerdoom "The Mouse and the Mask"
3. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
4. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
5. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Chad VanGaalen "Infiniheart"
8. HorrorPops "Bring It On!"
9. New Black "Time Attack"
10. Feist "Let It Die"
Honorable mentions:
Pennywise "The Fuse," Minus the Bear "Menos el Oso," Laura Veirs "Years of Meteors," Gogol Bordello "Gypsy Punks Underdog World Strike," Against Me! "Searching for a Former Clarity," Annia "Anniemal"
This was the list at the end of July.
1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
3. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
4. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
5. The Mars Volta "Frances the Mute"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Spoon "Gimme Fiction"
8. Andrew Bird "Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs"
9. Nine Inch Nails "With_Teeth"
10. eels "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations"
Goodbye guys with fros, Texas musicians that like to change styles every album, the best whistler in pop music, rich as fuck goth guy and my favorite bearded musician that should have committed suicide 1ox.
1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Dangerdoom "The Mouse and the Mask"
3. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
4. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
5. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Chad VanGaalen "Infiniheart"
8. HorrorPops "Bring It On!"
9. New Black "Time Attack"
10. Feist "Let It Die"
Honorable mentions:
Pennywise "The Fuse," Minus the Bear "Menos el Oso," Laura Veirs "Years of Meteors," Gogol Bordello "Gypsy Punks Underdog World Strike," Against Me! "Searching for a Former Clarity," Annia "Anniemal"
This was the list at the end of July.
1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
3. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
4. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
5. The Mars Volta "Frances the Mute"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Spoon "Gimme Fiction"
8. Andrew Bird "Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs"
9. Nine Inch Nails "With_Teeth"
10. eels "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations"
Goodbye guys with fros, Texas musicians that like to change styles every album, the best whistler in pop music, rich as fuck goth guy and my favorite bearded musician that should have committed suicide 1ox.
I should have listened to Tony sooner
I just finished "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy." I enjoyed it. I will probably read the next four installments. If I listened to Tony when he first told me about it, I could have seen the film when it was in theaters.
One of fall's most anticipated releases is the MF Doom/Dangermouse album. Thanks to Tony, I know and enjoy MF Doom. If I listened to him earlier, I could have seen the MC at the Abbey Pub last fall.
At least I now know better.
One of fall's most anticipated releases is the MF Doom/Dangermouse album. Thanks to Tony, I know and enjoy MF Doom. If I listened to him earlier, I could have seen the MC at the Abbey Pub last fall.
At least I now know better.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
"This is a god damn history lesson!"
Pink Gun did play last night. First time without a drummer. It was still Pink Gun because Brian was there, willing and ready to play drums. Since no one was kind enough to let us use their skins, Brian stood next to Charlie and I, drinking and laughing.
The set was about 15-minutes. It felt like an hour. Charlie and I started off with a song called, "I Wish I Knew My Dad." With droning feedback and a simple chord progression, we sounded like My Bloody Valentine meets the Velvet Underground. At least the music sounded like this. I sang/screamed like a survivor of a natural disaster. The song went on for about 5-minutes. Some topics I covered were: studded belts, tight jeans, Converse shoes, bands that won't share equipment, how I rule, how everyone should lick my balls and Hot Topic. The song was superb.
After our first song, we got our bearings. Unfortunately, the party hosts did not think we should progress with our unique style of music. Since we did not see eye to eye, I proceeded to make a host cry.
Song 2 is an untitled ditty that was sung by a random girl. Playing a simple punk rock riff for the verse, I gave the female ample opportunity to express herself in a well-known music fashion. My chorus was a bright, psychedelic orchestra of song. Once again, the girl had more than enough music to work with. Since no one can sing like me, I had to take the mic back from her. She did not live up to expectations. Then again, I am the only one who can sing in Pink Gun.
By this time, the party was divided. About 75% of the people there wanted us to stop, but the tight jeans they were wearing was not good for blood flow, therefore, they were not able to move. The other 25% of the crowd were frantically screaming for us to continue the gospel of Pink Gun. So Charlie and I faced adversity, guarded out amps (the hosts were trying to unplug us) and charged forward.
"Since U Been Gone." We performed a life-changing version of "Since U Been Gone." Out of key, slower, sexier and, obviously, life-altering, those who hated us were frozen yet again. How could two men, two musicians, two preachers of rock and roll, do so much with so little? I will answer that for you. Depression and desperation. That's all it takes. Pink Gun has enough of both to change multiple worlds.
Three songs into our set, the guitars were done for. After 5-minutes of getting unplugged and plugging back in, I decided to take the band in a new direction and just sing. Use the only instrument I was born with and belt out the most poetic lyrics uttered since e.e. cummings. Some topics that I covered were: rock and roll, Kelly Clarkson, how everyone should suck my balls again, how sexy I looked in my dress, how awesome Charlie is at guitar, how awesome I am at guitar, the state of economics, why the bands before and after us should die and that the hosts should call the cops because I'm over 21 and don't have to worry. Then they did call the cops.
For the first time in the history of Pink Gun, we've lived up to everything I knew we could be. We made a girl cry, froze wanna-be hipsters (we played in Lakeview, not Wicker Park), destroyed a room (at least the hard-wood floors, Micah and I spilled at least 3 beers each), pissed off all the other bands and, most importantly, had the police called on us.
Pink Gun is available for your next shin-dig.
The set was about 15-minutes. It felt like an hour. Charlie and I started off with a song called, "I Wish I Knew My Dad." With droning feedback and a simple chord progression, we sounded like My Bloody Valentine meets the Velvet Underground. At least the music sounded like this. I sang/screamed like a survivor of a natural disaster. The song went on for about 5-minutes. Some topics I covered were: studded belts, tight jeans, Converse shoes, bands that won't share equipment, how I rule, how everyone should lick my balls and Hot Topic. The song was superb.
After our first song, we got our bearings. Unfortunately, the party hosts did not think we should progress with our unique style of music. Since we did not see eye to eye, I proceeded to make a host cry.
Song 2 is an untitled ditty that was sung by a random girl. Playing a simple punk rock riff for the verse, I gave the female ample opportunity to express herself in a well-known music fashion. My chorus was a bright, psychedelic orchestra of song. Once again, the girl had more than enough music to work with. Since no one can sing like me, I had to take the mic back from her. She did not live up to expectations. Then again, I am the only one who can sing in Pink Gun.
By this time, the party was divided. About 75% of the people there wanted us to stop, but the tight jeans they were wearing was not good for blood flow, therefore, they were not able to move. The other 25% of the crowd were frantically screaming for us to continue the gospel of Pink Gun. So Charlie and I faced adversity, guarded out amps (the hosts were trying to unplug us) and charged forward.
"Since U Been Gone." We performed a life-changing version of "Since U Been Gone." Out of key, slower, sexier and, obviously, life-altering, those who hated us were frozen yet again. How could two men, two musicians, two preachers of rock and roll, do so much with so little? I will answer that for you. Depression and desperation. That's all it takes. Pink Gun has enough of both to change multiple worlds.
Three songs into our set, the guitars were done for. After 5-minutes of getting unplugged and plugging back in, I decided to take the band in a new direction and just sing. Use the only instrument I was born with and belt out the most poetic lyrics uttered since e.e. cummings. Some topics that I covered were: rock and roll, Kelly Clarkson, how everyone should suck my balls again, how sexy I looked in my dress, how awesome Charlie is at guitar, how awesome I am at guitar, the state of economics, why the bands before and after us should die and that the hosts should call the cops because I'm over 21 and don't have to worry. Then they did call the cops.
For the first time in the history of Pink Gun, we've lived up to everything I knew we could be. We made a girl cry, froze wanna-be hipsters (we played in Lakeview, not Wicker Park), destroyed a room (at least the hard-wood floors, Micah and I spilled at least 3 beers each), pissed off all the other bands and, most importantly, had the police called on us.
Pink Gun is available for your next shin-dig.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Symphony of destruction
I am in a "band" called Pink Gun. It's is the greatest band of all-time. We do not practice, record or jam. We just blow asses away. If anyone has a camera at tonight show, I will post pictures.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Agassi
Though I'm not a tennis fan and have never really understood the game, I am very impressed on Andre Agassi's win tonight over James Blake. Coming behind from a 6-3, 6-3 deficit, Agassi ended up winning the match.
I began watching the match in a local pub, drinking overpriced Bodington's and Blue Moon's. At first glance, the match was pretty much over. Agassi looked tired and defeated. The much younger Blake was wiping the floor with him. Then, out of nowhere, Agassi won the third round (I think that's the right term). From this point on, I was glued to the screen.
Halfway through the fifth round, USA cut over to an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I just now found out that Agassi won. Congrats Mr. Agassi. You may no longer have hair or the chance to have sex with Brooke Shields, but you did win a pointless sporting event that only the upper class care about. Good job asshole.
I began watching the match in a local pub, drinking overpriced Bodington's and Blue Moon's. At first glance, the match was pretty much over. Agassi looked tired and defeated. The much younger Blake was wiping the floor with him. Then, out of nowhere, Agassi won the third round (I think that's the right term). From this point on, I was glued to the screen.
Halfway through the fifth round, USA cut over to an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I just now found out that Agassi won. Congrats Mr. Agassi. You may no longer have hair or the chance to have sex with Brooke Shields, but you did win a pointless sporting event that only the upper class care about. Good job asshole.
Bob Dylan wrote a lot of good songs
Can't you hear me calling your name girl?
Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday when you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, ain't it a shame, when you got Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
It's time to kill everyone. Don't line up, it's boring that way.
People are going to read this and worry about me. "Oh no, he's lost his mind." No. That is not the case. PCP is a good drug. Good drug. Good god. Matt Drudge.
Then there is a liar too.
One day, when there is justice in the world, all the kids on myspace, AIM or whatever technology that will soon be outdated will get everything they ask for. Partners much too old. Tattoos that were once to die for. The incorrect spelling of words that no longer mean anything.
What the fuck is wrong with you 13-year olds that think Trent Reznor is tortured? He's a god damn millionaire! Go listen to old blues guys. They know depression. Not some white guy from Ohio.
The left wing are full of godless hedonists. But the right wing is full of people that believe in god and fuck the help. In the ass. In their headquarters. And leave black eyes. The left does not leave black eyes. The Black Eyed Peas are the definition of the 21st century Uncle Tom Band. I'm blacker than Will.i.am.
I don't support the troops but not the war. I support the war and not the troops. That's what gets me blow, whores and money. I fuck in money.
If I drink white out, I'll probably get sick. If I snort white out, I'll probably be a little happier. If I stab a hobo, I'll be happy. I'm going to Bucktown.
Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday when you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, ain't it a shame, when you got Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
It's time to kill everyone. Don't line up, it's boring that way.
People are going to read this and worry about me. "Oh no, he's lost his mind." No. That is not the case. PCP is a good drug. Good drug. Good god. Matt Drudge.
Then there is a liar too.
One day, when there is justice in the world, all the kids on myspace, AIM or whatever technology that will soon be outdated will get everything they ask for. Partners much too old. Tattoos that were once to die for. The incorrect spelling of words that no longer mean anything.
What the fuck is wrong with you 13-year olds that think Trent Reznor is tortured? He's a god damn millionaire! Go listen to old blues guys. They know depression. Not some white guy from Ohio.
The left wing are full of godless hedonists. But the right wing is full of people that believe in god and fuck the help. In the ass. In their headquarters. And leave black eyes. The left does not leave black eyes. The Black Eyed Peas are the definition of the 21st century Uncle Tom Band. I'm blacker than Will.i.am.
I don't support the troops but not the war. I support the war and not the troops. That's what gets me blow, whores and money. I fuck in money.
If I drink white out, I'll probably get sick. If I snort white out, I'll probably be a little happier. If I stab a hobo, I'll be happy. I'm going to Bucktown.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I hate blogger
My post was erased when I tried to use spell check. That doesn't happen with a pen and paper.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Some Things I've Learned In The Past Few Days
When sending a finished product to a printer, it is not really finished. Why? Miscommunication. There is always miscommunication.
If you want a commercially and critically successful hip-hop album, bring in Jon Brion (Kanye West). This does not apply to any other genre of music (Fiona Apple).
People who have just experienced loss don’t like dry humor. I.E.: So, what was so great about that dead dude?
Metal, as a whole, is the funniest of all genres, specifically the lyrics. They’re great or horrible. The definition of so bad it’s good.
I am no good at designing websites. I am good at pointless pop-music trivia. It won me two t-shirts from XRT.
If you want a commercially and critically successful hip-hop album, bring in Jon Brion (Kanye West). This does not apply to any other genre of music (Fiona Apple).
People who have just experienced loss don’t like dry humor. I.E.: So, what was so great about that dead dude?
Metal, as a whole, is the funniest of all genres, specifically the lyrics. They’re great or horrible. The definition of so bad it’s good.
I am no good at designing websites. I am good at pointless pop-music trivia. It won me two t-shirts from XRT.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Eh
Last night's reading went well. No one died and there were enough people at Quimby's to make it seem like there was a crowd.
The site is running a little behind, but a very basic shell should be up soon. Since there really can't be a finished version of the website, there really isn't anything to worry about. Except AIDS. And flooding.
The site is running a little behind, but a very basic shell should be up soon. Since there really can't be a finished version of the website, there really isn't anything to worry about. Except AIDS. And flooding.
Monday, August 29, 2005
What Happened To Controversey?
MTV’s Video Music Awards were horrible. Here is why.
-Miami was only good because there was a possibility that everyone at the event might have been killed in a hurricane.
-Diddy should not have been host. He’s not funny and the whole “Anything Can Happen” thing was lost on people watching from home.
-R. Kelly’s performance was both gay and homophobic, a first in R&B.
-Green Day should have been able to perform something other than “Boulevard of Broken Dreams.” It’s been impossible to escape the song. They should have played “Jesus of Suburbia.”
-Jessica Simpson was dressed like Paris Hilton, and that makes me sad.
-I shouldn’t know people that win awards (Fall Out Boy), especially people that had an easy time with rent.
-The Killers are a bad live band. Flowers can’t sing and the rest of the band looks sedated.
-Kanye West was decent, but walking through the crowd made it almost impossible to understand what he was saying.
-50 Cent. Everything about his performance.
-Dane Cook got to perform for 4-minutes. Rather than be a highlight, it was just odd.
-Mariah Carey is crazy. Not Whitney Houston on crack crazy, but boring crazy.
-My Chemical Romance has lost their edge. Now that Gerard is clean, they’re boring.
-Kelly Clarkson is always a treat for the eyes, but having her drenched by the end of the show’s finale was actually a bad idea. It sounded like “Since U Been Gone” heard next to a blender.
Here are some highlights.
-Shakira.
-Beavis and Butthead coming back to MTV?
-Suge Knight got shot the night before.
No Eminem, no White Stripes, no Triumph, no Britney, no Marilyn Manson and the entire show is pointless. Bring it back to New York City and give the terrorists reason to attack.
---
Eminem’s first album is amazing. He’s drugged up, careless and had nothing to lose. It is devoid of morals and every beat is solid.
---
The first issue has been sent to the printer. You can now upload the thing in a PDF form on the site.
-Miami was only good because there was a possibility that everyone at the event might have been killed in a hurricane.
-Diddy should not have been host. He’s not funny and the whole “Anything Can Happen” thing was lost on people watching from home.
-R. Kelly’s performance was both gay and homophobic, a first in R&B.
-Green Day should have been able to perform something other than “Boulevard of Broken Dreams.” It’s been impossible to escape the song. They should have played “Jesus of Suburbia.”
-Jessica Simpson was dressed like Paris Hilton, and that makes me sad.
-I shouldn’t know people that win awards (Fall Out Boy), especially people that had an easy time with rent.
-The Killers are a bad live band. Flowers can’t sing and the rest of the band looks sedated.
-Kanye West was decent, but walking through the crowd made it almost impossible to understand what he was saying.
-50 Cent. Everything about his performance.
-Dane Cook got to perform for 4-minutes. Rather than be a highlight, it was just odd.
-Mariah Carey is crazy. Not Whitney Houston on crack crazy, but boring crazy.
-My Chemical Romance has lost their edge. Now that Gerard is clean, they’re boring.
-Kelly Clarkson is always a treat for the eyes, but having her drenched by the end of the show’s finale was actually a bad idea. It sounded like “Since U Been Gone” heard next to a blender.
Here are some highlights.
-Shakira.
-Beavis and Butthead coming back to MTV?
-Suge Knight got shot the night before.
No Eminem, no White Stripes, no Triumph, no Britney, no Marilyn Manson and the entire show is pointless. Bring it back to New York City and give the terrorists reason to attack.
---
Eminem’s first album is amazing. He’s drugged up, careless and had nothing to lose. It is devoid of morals and every beat is solid.
---
The first issue has been sent to the printer. You can now upload the thing in a PDF form on the site.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
If You Have Nothing To Do Tonight...
Come to...
The Colonnade Room
St. Louise Parish Center
1112 Raymond Ave.
La Grange, Il
It's their annual acoustic show and they're helping us out and letting us promote the hell out of it. Here are the bands...
The Extreme Muggers
Witroy
Sally
Atomic Groovemonkey
Slow Children at Play
Hour Circle and more
So please come out. The guys that throw the shows are really great and deserve for this thing to be a success. Come out. Sally is playing (kind of) and I'll be there. Please come.
The Colonnade Room
St. Louise Parish Center
1112 Raymond Ave.
La Grange, Il
It's their annual acoustic show and they're helping us out and letting us promote the hell out of it. Here are the bands...
The Extreme Muggers
Witroy
Sally
Atomic Groovemonkey
Slow Children at Play
Hour Circle and more
So please come out. The guys that throw the shows are really great and deserve for this thing to be a success. Come out. Sally is playing (kind of) and I'll be there. Please come.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Eating Apples
CMJ is coming up. Kelsey and I have train tickets to NYC (no tickets back, yet) for the event. I still haven't looked at who is playing. I will do that now...
Here is who I want to see...
(International) Noise Conspiracy
Aloha
Ambulance LTD.
Aqueduct
Arcade Fire
Atmosphere
Bang! Bang! (Chicago)
Beans w/Holy Fuck
Blues Explosion
The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Canasta (Chicago)
The Dandy Warhols
Detachment Kit (ex-Chicago)
Die Warzau (Chicago)
Doves
Feist
Head of Femur (Chicago)
Mass Shivers (Chicago)
Nashville Pussy
New Pornographers
Of Montreal
Saturday Looks Good To Me
The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir (Chicago)
Son Ambulance
Suicide Girls
This Is Me Smiling (Chicago)
Yakuza (Chicago)
That's the most bands I've ever wanted to see going in to CMJ. I probably won't be able to see the bands I've wanted to see for the longest time, The Dandy Warhols. They're playing CBGB's at 11pm on the first night. The place can only hold a few hundred. Damn. This is another reason I'll be happy when the place closes. The owner is trying to make it seem like he can't afford the rent. He can. The place makes more then $2 million each year just on merchandise.
I'm getting off track. In addition to the bands, there is the film festival. This year, "Walk The Line" is getting a screening. The movie better be amazing. If not, I will bitch about it for the duration of the trip. I apologize in advance.
---
I'm still sick. I've been coughing up dark phlegm for a good amount of the morning. I feel better, all the liquid that has been in my head is now escaping through my nose and mouth.
Here is who I want to see...
(International) Noise Conspiracy
Aloha
Ambulance LTD.
Aqueduct
Arcade Fire
Atmosphere
Bang! Bang! (Chicago)
Beans w/Holy Fuck
Blues Explosion
The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Canasta (Chicago)
The Dandy Warhols
Detachment Kit (ex-Chicago)
Die Warzau (Chicago)
Doves
Feist
Head of Femur (Chicago)
Mass Shivers (Chicago)
Nashville Pussy
New Pornographers
Of Montreal
Saturday Looks Good To Me
The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir (Chicago)
Son Ambulance
Suicide Girls
This Is Me Smiling (Chicago)
Yakuza (Chicago)
That's the most bands I've ever wanted to see going in to CMJ. I probably won't be able to see the bands I've wanted to see for the longest time, The Dandy Warhols. They're playing CBGB's at 11pm on the first night. The place can only hold a few hundred. Damn. This is another reason I'll be happy when the place closes. The owner is trying to make it seem like he can't afford the rent. He can. The place makes more then $2 million each year just on merchandise.
I'm getting off track. In addition to the bands, there is the film festival. This year, "Walk The Line" is getting a screening. The movie better be amazing. If not, I will bitch about it for the duration of the trip. I apologize in advance.
---
I'm still sick. I've been coughing up dark phlegm for a good amount of the morning. I feel better, all the liquid that has been in my head is now escaping through my nose and mouth.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I've Been Putting Stuff Up My Nose All Day
Since I'm sick, I've been sitting in front of the dehumidifier for the past few hours. That's all, I'm not on coke.
---
Kelsey, Lindsey, Dan and I are supposed to see Garbage later tonight. Matt and Jason should be there as well. Tickets are something like $75 each. None of us paid. Suckers.
---
Kelsey, Lindsey, Dan and I are supposed to see Garbage later tonight. Matt and Jason should be there as well. Tickets are something like $75 each. None of us paid. Suckers.
Not Much To Say
You know that the state of publishing has undergone a major change when a writer is questioning how much to reveal in a blog.
---
Are we consistently writing the same thing with new adjectives? Are we conveying any emotion other than self-pity? Is self-pity an emotion?
---
Are we consistently writing the same thing with new adjectives? Are we conveying any emotion other than self-pity? Is self-pity an emotion?
Monday, August 22, 2005
I Will Blame It On Medicine
Rather than sleep, rather than get work done, rather than get healthy, I am currently listening to Howlin' Wolf, trying to figure out what to do next.
I've missed events I should I have attended. Shown up at places that shouldn't have let me in. What do I get for this? Cryptic blog entries. That last line reads like an oxymoron.
Oh, I remembered what I wanted to mention last week. I saw an episode of Dr. Phil about bullies. I hereby declare that I will attempt to be one of the all-time great cyber bullies. So...
EVERYONE NEEDS TO DIE BECAUSE THEY ALL SMELL, NO ONE LIKES THEM AND I AM SO AWESOME!!!
I have just told the world to commit suicide. I am the greatest cyber bully ever.
I've missed events I should I have attended. Shown up at places that shouldn't have let me in. What do I get for this? Cryptic blog entries. That last line reads like an oxymoron.
Oh, I remembered what I wanted to mention last week. I saw an episode of Dr. Phil about bullies. I hereby declare that I will attempt to be one of the all-time great cyber bullies. So...
EVERYONE NEEDS TO DIE BECAUSE THEY ALL SMELL, NO ONE LIKES THEM AND I AM SO AWESOME!!!
I have just told the world to commit suicide. I am the greatest cyber bully ever.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Irony?
We got a letter from the Congress. The alderman complained about our window decor. Earlier tonight, a crackhead was harassing us.
The magazine should be done by Monday night. Then it will be sent out. All things point to a September 1 release. Everything is going well. Except money. But at least there are crackheads.
The magazine should be done by Monday night. Then it will be sent out. All things point to a September 1 release. Everything is going well. Except money. But at least there are crackheads.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Office Space
The last release show for issue 1 has been confirmed. You can check out the poster on the site.
Amy came in last night to copy edit. She'll be here later to do the same. Emerson is coming in on Wednesday.
Sarah is working on layout.
Work is getting done.
Bob Sirott is a fucking ass. I want him to go away, never to appear on WTTW 11 again.
Tonight will be my 5th or 6th straight week at Carol's Pub. I'm not sure if this is an achievement or a problem.
Amy came in last night to copy edit. She'll be here later to do the same. Emerson is coming in on Wednesday.
Sarah is working on layout.
Work is getting done.
Bob Sirott is a fucking ass. I want him to go away, never to appear on WTTW 11 again.
Tonight will be my 5th or 6th straight week at Carol's Pub. I'm not sure if this is an achievement or a problem.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Women Beating Women Is Acceptable
The Windy City Rollers were really fun. It would have been a lot more fun if I was drunk. I realize that sounds sad, but alcohol makes sense when there are 20+ women on skates beating each other.
Thanks to Tony for copy editing my column.
Thanks to the Congress for not putting me on the list but having a horrible security team that is extremely easy to sneak by. And for having a system of tunnels that all connect to the boiler room.
Thanks to Steve Carell. You're funny.
Thanks to Tony for copy editing my column.
Thanks to the Congress for not putting me on the list but having a horrible security team that is extremely easy to sneak by. And for having a system of tunnels that all connect to the boiler room.
Thanks to Steve Carell. You're funny.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Ideas Please
Today has been a waste. Thankfully, Sarah is getting some layout work done. I haven't been able to get anything done.
Maybe I'll be able to get something done if I finish that Margarita bottle.
Maybe I'll be able to get something done if I finish that Margarita bottle.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Both Come From Columbia
Kelsey and I are about to head over to Subterranean to review the New Black show. If they are as good as they were in Nashville, one of will write wonderful things about the wonderful Chicago band.
Thax, Kelsey and I just got back from the Hollywood Grill. Each of us drank about 10 cups of coffee. Why the fuck did we drink so much coffee? I have to pee every 5 minutes and I can't stop moving. I can't handle coffee, so how can I ever handle cocaine? I'll never be cool in Wicker Park.
I think I want to hang out with Eddie Vedder. I know I want to befriend Dave Grohl. The three of us could form a supergroup. But Dave Grohl will play bass, Vedder will play drums and I'll play guitar. It'll be an instrumental band. It will be the worst supergroup ever. But I'll be rich. The poor suck.
Thax, Kelsey and I just got back from the Hollywood Grill. Each of us drank about 10 cups of coffee. Why the fuck did we drink so much coffee? I have to pee every 5 minutes and I can't stop moving. I can't handle coffee, so how can I ever handle cocaine? I'll never be cool in Wicker Park.
I think I want to hang out with Eddie Vedder. I know I want to befriend Dave Grohl. The three of us could form a supergroup. But Dave Grohl will play bass, Vedder will play drums and I'll play guitar. It'll be an instrumental band. It will be the worst supergroup ever. But I'll be rich. The poor suck.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Drawing Restraint 9?
Who knew Bjork had a new album out? While opening radio station mail, I stumbled across a copy of a new film soundtrack that Bjork scored. Will Oldham sings on the first song. If I knew he worked with Bjork, I would've harassed him at Intonation.
There is no way anyone at WRDP is going to like this album.
I respect and admire Bjork. She's released commercially succesful albums and followed them up with throat singing. She may be crazy, but she's a good kind of crazy (that was not meant to be an obscure Scotland Yard Gospel Choir reference).
After listening to the soundtrack and reading about the film online, I'm still not quite sure what the film is about. It looks disturbing. That's good.
***
I now have a love/hate relationship with UR Chicago. They gave me some good press a few months back, but their current issue upsets me more than it should. Rather than write them and have the magazine reprint my letter, making me look unbalanced, I just bitch to everyone I know that their "experts" are just hacks who want to fuck guys in tight pants. If the guy plays the Empty Bottle or Hideout and manages to have on tight pants, it's even better.
There is no way anyone at WRDP is going to like this album.
I respect and admire Bjork. She's released commercially succesful albums and followed them up with throat singing. She may be crazy, but she's a good kind of crazy (that was not meant to be an obscure Scotland Yard Gospel Choir reference).
After listening to the soundtrack and reading about the film online, I'm still not quite sure what the film is about. It looks disturbing. That's good.
***
I now have a love/hate relationship with UR Chicago. They gave me some good press a few months back, but their current issue upsets me more than it should. Rather than write them and have the magazine reprint my letter, making me look unbalanced, I just bitch to everyone I know that their "experts" are just hacks who want to fuck guys in tight pants. If the guy plays the Empty Bottle or Hideout and manages to have on tight pants, it's even better.
Monday, August 08, 2005
He Rapped In A Song
Aaron Carter is going to perform during the 2005 Miss Teen U.S.A. pagaent. My guess is that 40 of the 51 contestents blew him. The other 11 are too pure. They offered him other options. Mostly anal. Mostly.
I am not obsessed with the idea of Aaron Carter smooth talking beauty contestant pagaents. The Backstreet Boys brother needs to get head. From all pagaent contestents. It's in their by-laws.
Since it's Monday, I'll be at Carol's in a few hours. I bet that the crazy vet that is good at darts is there too. He's crazy. Mostly scary.
Peter Jennings died early today. I liked him. I obviously didn't know him personally, but I did like him more than Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather. Another thing that he had going for him was that he was a high school dropout. Take that bums! Why aren't any of you anchors on nightly newscasts that aren't just in your mind?
Sorry to all the bums out there. I shouldn't assume that none of you host nationally syndicated news shows. I can only speak for the Americans.
The title of this post refers to Aaron Carter, not Peter Jennings.
I am not obsessed with the idea of Aaron Carter smooth talking beauty contestant pagaents. The Backstreet Boys brother needs to get head. From all pagaent contestents. It's in their by-laws.
Since it's Monday, I'll be at Carol's in a few hours. I bet that the crazy vet that is good at darts is there too. He's crazy. Mostly scary.
Peter Jennings died early today. I liked him. I obviously didn't know him personally, but I did like him more than Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather. Another thing that he had going for him was that he was a high school dropout. Take that bums! Why aren't any of you anchors on nightly newscasts that aren't just in your mind?
Sorry to all the bums out there. I shouldn't assume that none of you host nationally syndicated news shows. I can only speak for the Americans.
The title of this post refers to Aaron Carter, not Peter Jennings.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Saturday
I've wasted the entire day. I have done nothing close to productive. I'd like to thank Jesus for allowing me this opportunity.
Eric Lab Rat's costume party was a nightmare that I had when I was 6. 50+ people in mostly homemade costumes, a band playing music that sounded like cabaret and dentistry, alchohal and 100+ degree heat. Wonderful.
Eric Lab Rat's costume party was a nightmare that I had when I was 6. 50+ people in mostly homemade costumes, a band playing music that sounded like cabaret and dentistry, alchohal and 100+ degree heat. Wonderful.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Update
Max is currently working on a new design for themachinemedia.com.
Kelsey is currently at Osco.
Matt is currently addressing envelopes for patrons in Lakeview.
I am sitting behind a computer. My tooth hurts. I had a root canal.
The Cubs just lost. Today has no been good.
Kelsey is currently at Osco.
Matt is currently addressing envelopes for patrons in Lakeview.
I am sitting behind a computer. My tooth hurts. I had a root canal.
The Cubs just lost. Today has no been good.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
I Like Music
Since I haven't been able to publish any music criticism since May, I've decided to post my Top 10 albums, thus far, of 2005.
1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
3. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
4. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
5. The Mars Volta "Frances the Mute"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Spoon "Gimme Fiction"
8. Andrew Bird "Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs"
9. Nine Inch Nails "With_Teeth"
10. eels "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations"
Some albums that almost made the list are: Frank Black "Honeycomb," Coralie Clement "Bye Bye Beaute" and Alkaline Trio "Crimson."
Here's my Top 5 list of albums that people have told me I'll love, but have not yet listened to.
1. Head of Femur "Hysterical Stars"
2. Common "Be"
3. Annie "Anniemal"
4. Quasimoto "The Further Adventures of Lord Quas"
5. M.I.A. "Arular"
The year isn't over. Here's my top 5 of what I'm looking forward to.
1. System of a Down "Hypnotize"
2. OutKast
3. tATu "Dangerous and Moving"
4. The New Pornographers "Twin Cinema"
5. Pearl Jam
Finally, here's my Top 5 list of 2005 albums that are disappointing.
1. Weezer "Make Believe"
2. Gorillaz "Demon Days" (No Dan the Automator, no Deltron 3030)
3. Coldplay "XY"
4. Foo Fighters "In Your Honor" ("Friend of a Friend" and "Razor" can't save the arena rock fueled electric disc)
5. System of a Down "Mezmerize" (maybe it'll make more sense once "Hypnotize" is released)
1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
3. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
4. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
5. The Mars Volta "Frances the Mute"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Spoon "Gimme Fiction"
8. Andrew Bird "Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs"
9. Nine Inch Nails "With_Teeth"
10. eels "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations"
Some albums that almost made the list are: Frank Black "Honeycomb," Coralie Clement "Bye Bye Beaute" and Alkaline Trio "Crimson."
Here's my Top 5 list of albums that people have told me I'll love, but have not yet listened to.
1. Head of Femur "Hysterical Stars"
2. Common "Be"
3. Annie "Anniemal"
4. Quasimoto "The Further Adventures of Lord Quas"
5. M.I.A. "Arular"
The year isn't over. Here's my top 5 of what I'm looking forward to.
1. System of a Down "Hypnotize"
2. OutKast
3. tATu "Dangerous and Moving"
4. The New Pornographers "Twin Cinema"
5. Pearl Jam
Finally, here's my Top 5 list of 2005 albums that are disappointing.
1. Weezer "Make Believe"
2. Gorillaz "Demon Days" (No Dan the Automator, no Deltron 3030)
3. Coldplay "XY"
4. Foo Fighters "In Your Honor" ("Friend of a Friend" and "Razor" can't save the arena rock fueled electric disc)
5. System of a Down "Mezmerize" (maybe it'll make more sense once "Hypnotize" is released)
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
I Hate This Thing
I wrote this long post about the similarities between drug addiction and starting a magazine but the god damn thing got erased when I tried to spell-check it.
The point is, I'm busy. If you think I'm blowing you off, I am. Why? Because I'm fucking busy you asshole. You try to start a fucking magazine. Shut up! Fuck you! You fucking dick! Always nay-saying everything I create! You piece of shit! YOU create something like a magazine! You fucking shit! You fucking sit in your tower! Fucking nap...
What's funny?
You fucking bitch! Fucking...fuck you! Fuckin'...cock ass!
The point is, I'm busy. If you think I'm blowing you off, I am. Why? Because I'm fucking busy you asshole. You try to start a fucking magazine. Shut up! Fuck you! You fucking dick! Always nay-saying everything I create! You piece of shit! YOU create something like a magazine! You fucking shit! You fucking sit in your tower! Fucking nap...
What's funny?
You fucking bitch! Fucking...fuck you! Fuckin'...cock ass!
Saturday, July 30, 2005
READ ME!!!
The phone is working. Call it. The number is in the press kit.
John Shaw was kind enough to print some posters and design a few for the windows. You can check out the work when you stop by the office. The address is 2133 N. Milwaukee.
THIS POST IS FULL OF SELF-PROMOTION!
Speaking of artwork...I actually have nothing to add to that one. Sorry.
Local artist Bill Kirby is also featured in the window. The origin of Captain Chicago is proudly on display on the front door.
Doors for Kings of Leon open in 32 minutes. The people waiting in line have been staring into the store front, probably trying to figure out just what this space is for. It's for drugs. Or drugks.
John Shaw was kind enough to print some posters and design a few for the windows. You can check out the work when you stop by the office. The address is 2133 N. Milwaukee.
THIS POST IS FULL OF SELF-PROMOTION!
Speaking of artwork...I actually have nothing to add to that one. Sorry.
Local artist Bill Kirby is also featured in the window. The origin of Captain Chicago is proudly on display on the front door.
Doors for Kings of Leon open in 32 minutes. The people waiting in line have been staring into the store front, probably trying to figure out just what this space is for. It's for drugs. Or drugks.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Fox News
My mom is thrilled that a lake is being drained to find Natalee Holloway's body. She wants the mother "to have closure." My mother is the only person I know that still cares about the dead girl. Now she's threatening to stay up all night until the body is found.
$25 For 15 Minutes
It costs $5 to buy a phone jack. $85 for installation fees and $25 every 15 minutes the technician is here. That's bullshit.
Matt thinks that if the magazine doesn't take off, we should just throw dance parties. Call the place Aqua Chicago.
Matt thinks that if the magazine doesn't take off, we should just throw dance parties. Call the place Aqua Chicago.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
There Isn't More Than Corn In Indiana
To the people I met at the Midwest Music Conference, nice meeting you. Other than you guys, the city is pretty boring. I ain't going back. Unless I'm playing. Thanks to the guys that run Standard Recording Co. for letting me play.
The canned laughter on "Mary Tylor Moore" sounds like a jet taking off.
The canned laughter on "Mary Tylor Moore" sounds like a jet taking off.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
It's Over
The first (hopefully annual) Intonation music fest was a success. All the bands played on time. No one died. The reviews are positive. All was good. And stressful, tiring, painful, etc.
In terms of my actual responsibility, I managed to do what I was supposed to do. Interviews took place with all but two artists that were scheduled. Whatever. That info is boring.
Though it's almost 24-hours since I left Union Park, I still can't give a general idea of what happened. It's damn near impossible to report on everything that happened. Too tired and relieved.
In terms of my actual responsibility, I managed to do what I was supposed to do. Interviews took place with all but two artists that were scheduled. Whatever. That info is boring.
Though it's almost 24-hours since I left Union Park, I still can't give a general idea of what happened. It's damn near impossible to report on everything that happened. Too tired and relieved.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Finishing Up
Due to my involvement with the Intonation Music Fest, this thing hasn't been updated in a while. Having a place to go everyday is a nice thing.
The fest is tomorrow. There are write-ups in the Chicago Reader, Time Out Chicago, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, Rolling Stone, Spin...there are a lot of articles about the fest.
I hope I don't screw up too bad. I want this thing to be a success.
The fest is tomorrow. There are write-ups in the Chicago Reader, Time Out Chicago, Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, Rolling Stone, Spin...there are a lot of articles about the fest.
I hope I don't screw up too bad. I want this thing to be a success.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
"Reality Bites"
When I first saw "Reality Bites," I thought the movie was amazing. I wasn't yet a teenager. Now that I'm the age of the main characters in the film, I realize how bad it really is. Go to hell, Ben Stiller.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Broken?
The Machine myspace account is temporarily down. Which is weird. The page says that it is getting some maintenence done and will be up shortly. I hate how internet lingo sounds like car repair.
A poor fellow keeps messaging the myspace account. He thinks that we're a real woman. A woman he would "like to get to know better." It's sad. He seems like an OK dude.
If this thing were "Vice," we'd put his picture on the cover and devote 10-pages to why/how he sucks. He doesn't suck. He's just lonely.
A poor fellow keeps messaging the myspace account. He thinks that we're a real woman. A woman he would "like to get to know better." It's sad. He seems like an OK dude.
If this thing were "Vice," we'd put his picture on the cover and devote 10-pages to why/how he sucks. He doesn't suck. He's just lonely.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
No one is picking up
After finishing three of my four tasks at work, I'm stuck here calling this one guy. He's not picking up. So I'm stuck here. Because he's not picking up.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
ATM
If you happen to have my bank card, please don't use it. There isn't much money in the account and your experience will just be a waste of time.
---
Urge Overkill wasn't nearly as good as I expected them to be. This is yet another example of why bands should not reunite. The Pixies were lackluster as well.
---
Apparantly, if you are looking for someone to do something, just tell everyone you know that you are looking for someone to do something. For example, if you lust after 80-year old men but don't know any 80-year old men, tell everyone you know that you lust after 80-year old men. Sooner or later, you'll fine someone who either is an 80-year old man that lusts after 22-year old males or meet someone who knows someone who is an 80-year old man that lusts after 22-year olds.
---
Urge Overkill wasn't nearly as good as I expected them to be. This is yet another example of why bands should not reunite. The Pixies were lackluster as well.
---
Apparantly, if you are looking for someone to do something, just tell everyone you know that you are looking for someone to do something. For example, if you lust after 80-year old men but don't know any 80-year old men, tell everyone you know that you lust after 80-year old men. Sooner or later, you'll fine someone who either is an 80-year old man that lusts after 22-year old males or meet someone who knows someone who is an 80-year old man that lusts after 22-year olds.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Food Network
"Look at her, you know she doesn't eat that."
"That's probably good."
"I like Rachel. She's a nice girl. That's the kind of girl you want to marry. She cooks. Respects the family. Cute. She talks nice, nice."
"I can't wait til the new gays come on. The ones that won the contest. They come on in September."
"Oh my god, I can't stand this. This is too cute."
"Look how cute it is."
"I love that stuff. I could buy it by the case."
"I try to economize, but it never works out."
"This is right up my alley."
"I must have been watching Court TV at that time."
These are things I've heard while watching the Food Network for an hour on a Friday afternoon with my mother.
"That's probably good."
"I like Rachel. She's a nice girl. That's the kind of girl you want to marry. She cooks. Respects the family. Cute. She talks nice, nice."
"I can't wait til the new gays come on. The ones that won the contest. They come on in September."
"Oh my god, I can't stand this. This is too cute."
"Look how cute it is."
"I love that stuff. I could buy it by the case."
"I try to economize, but it never works out."
"This is right up my alley."
"I must have been watching Court TV at that time."
These are things I've heard while watching the Food Network for an hour on a Friday afternoon with my mother.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Honest friends
I just IMd a friend of mine.
Me: you there?
Friend: Yea, but I'm watching "America's Next Top Model"
This is why we're friends.
Me: you there?
Friend: Yea, but I'm watching "America's Next Top Model"
This is why we're friends.
The Crue
Time is on my side. VH1 is currently airing "Inside/Out: Motley Crue" about their reunion. Last week, I finished reading their book, "The Dirt." This is amazing.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
AAding Exxtra Lettters
Isss fuuun.
It's going to cost about $5,000 to print each issue. This is only for 48-pages and 5,000 copies. Damn. We could be spending all that money on coke. We're dumb.
It's going to cost about $5,000 to print each issue. This is only for 48-pages and 5,000 copies. Damn. We could be spending all that money on coke. We're dumb.
For/Four/4 Eyes
The place that sells the glasses is For Eyes.
---
While getting an office is a high priority, I don't know if Logan Square is the best idea. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the neighborhood, but shouldn't an office be in an area that doesn't take between 30 and 60 minutes to arrive? Other than that, the place sounds good to me.
---
Eating pink turkey is just as good as eating white turkey.
---
Why does Comedy Central only air "Kids in the Hall" between 1:30 and 2:30 A.M.? Do they have a prejudice against cross-dressing gay Canadians?
---
While getting an office is a high priority, I don't know if Logan Square is the best idea. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the neighborhood, but shouldn't an office be in an area that doesn't take between 30 and 60 minutes to arrive? Other than that, the place sounds good to me.
---
Eating pink turkey is just as good as eating white turkey.
---
Why does Comedy Central only air "Kids in the Hall" between 1:30 and 2:30 A.M.? Do they have a prejudice against cross-dressing gay Canadians?
Monday, June 27, 2005
Van Wilder
When debating on whether or not to watch "Van Wilder," one must consider how much was spent on renting said movie. Since $1 was spent, opting not to watch the film does make some sense.
The Lincoln Restaurant is great because above one of the booths is a bust of Lincoln.
The Lincoln Restaurant is great because above one of the booths is a bust of Lincoln.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Full of pride
Since I drink on Halsted about 50 nights of the year, I don't think I need to go to the Gay Pride Parade. None of my gay friends wear neon, g-strings or head dresses, so why would I want to celebrate them by cheering that on? I'd rather go to North End with Matt.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Bewitching
Though the cast of "Bewitched" features Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrel, Jason Schwartzman (I know I spelled that one wrong), Steven Colbert, Steven Carrell (sp?), Amy Sedaris and Nick Lachey, it's is still disappointing.
Kelsey's is over there
Today was the hottest day in Chicago in three-years.
This blog is mine (Actually, it's the property of Google, but I'm the one who writes the words on the screen.) Kelsey's blog will be over at Live Journal. Should that be one word?
The Machine is, first and foremost, a magazine. Sooner or later, it will also be a radio show, podcast, record label, publishing company, bakery, clothing line, religion, television show, DVD player, DVD, three-some, cable company, wine and gas company. At least it will be some of those things.
We're in Chicago so we'll write about Chicago.
Hewhocorrupts will be on the cover of the first issue. I should probably tell them that.
This blog is mine (Actually, it's the property of Google, but I'm the one who writes the words on the screen.) Kelsey's blog will be over at Live Journal. Should that be one word?
The Machine is, first and foremost, a magazine. Sooner or later, it will also be a radio show, podcast, record label, publishing company, bakery, clothing line, religion, television show, DVD player, DVD, three-some, cable company, wine and gas company. At least it will be some of those things.
We're in Chicago so we'll write about Chicago.
Hewhocorrupts will be on the cover of the first issue. I should probably tell them that.
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