What Happened To Controversey?

MTV’s Video Music Awards were horrible. Here is why.

-Miami was only good because there was a possibility that everyone at the event might have been killed in a hurricane.
-Diddy should not have been host. He’s not funny and the whole “Anything Can Happen” thing was lost on people watching from home.
-R. Kelly’s performance was both gay and homophobic, a first in R&B.
-Green Day should have been able to perform something other than “Boulevard of Broken Dreams.” It’s been impossible to escape the song. They should have played “Jesus of Suburbia.”
-Jessica Simpson was dressed like Paris Hilton, and that makes me sad.
-I shouldn’t know people that win awards (Fall Out Boy), especially people that had an easy time with rent.
-The Killers are a bad live band. Flowers can’t sing and the rest of the band looks sedated.
-Kanye West was decent, but walking through the crowd made it almost impossible to understand what he was saying.
-50 Cent. Everything about his performance.
-Dane Cook got to perform for 4-minutes. Rather than be a highlight, it was just odd.
-Mariah Carey is crazy. Not Whitney Houston on crack crazy, but boring crazy.
-My Chemical Romance has lost their edge. Now that Gerard is clean, they’re boring.
-Kelly Clarkson is always a treat for the eyes, but having her drenched by the end of the show’s finale was actually a bad idea. It sounded like “Since U Been Gone” heard next to a blender.

Here are some highlights.
-Shakira.
-Beavis and Butthead coming back to MTV?
-Suge Knight got shot the night before.

No Eminem, no White Stripes, no Triumph, no Britney, no Marilyn Manson and the entire show is pointless. Bring it back to New York City and give the terrorists reason to attack.

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Eminem’s first album is amazing. He’s drugged up, careless and had nothing to lose. It is devoid of morals and every beat is solid.

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The first issue has been sent to the printer. You can now upload the thing in a PDF form on the site.