Waste of time

I went to the Small Business Association office. The following are the three things that the gentleman that talked to me said numerous times.

"$5,000 isn't a lot of money."
"Why don't you just save up for the money?"
"Don't you know anyone that will loan you money?"

If you go to nocheaters.com, you can find The Machine personal at the president listed below

One more thing

The full version of The Machine is almost done. By the end of the week you will be able to read all of the content in the PDF version and download songs that we actually like (no pay for play on this thing). It will be good. Good times. Any time you need a payment. Good times. Any time you need a friend.

"Sunday Morning"

Getting back into the swing of things hasn't been that easy. Before leaving, I would write at least 2,000 words a day. Since returning, I'm lucky if I've written 2,000 words total. Instead of concentrating on the writing aspect of The Machine, I'm too busy trying to think of a way to finance it. So far I've come up with...
-male prostitution
-selling fake green cards
-marrying a heiress
-kidnapping a child star
-kidnapping and then marrying heiress/child star before selling them into prostitution

Crawl

The lack of updates are due to: being in NYC for a week, not knowing where to sleep for 4-days, going to the radio station everyday and not the office for a week and I'm a dick. Those are the reasons.

Most of the content for Issue 2 is in. Now it's time to edit and make sure we have all the artwork we need. I have a feeling we have none of the artwork we need.

I like music, update

Here's my top 10 of 2005 as of today

1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Dangerdoom "The Mouse and the Mask"
3. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
4. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
5. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Chad VanGaalen "Infiniheart"
8. HorrorPops "Bring It On!"
9. New Black "Time Attack"
10. Feist "Let It Die"

Honorable mentions:
Pennywise "The Fuse," Minus the Bear "Menos el Oso," Laura Veirs "Years of Meteors," Gogol Bordello "Gypsy Punks Underdog World Strike," Against Me! "Searching for a Former Clarity," Annia "Anniemal"

This was the list at the end of July.

1. Sally "The Attrition E.P."
2. Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
3. Sage Francis "A Healthy Distrust"
4. Sleater-Kinney "The Woods"
5. The Mars Volta "Frances the Mute"
6. The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"
7. Spoon "Gimme Fiction"
8. Andrew Bird "Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs"
9. Nine Inch Nails "With_Teeth"
10. eels "Blinking Lights and Other Revelations"

Goodbye guys with fros, Texas musicians that like to change styles every album, the best whistler in pop music, rich as fuck goth guy and my favorite bearded musician that should have committed suicide 1ox.

I should have listened to Tony sooner

I just finished "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy." I enjoyed it. I will probably read the next four installments. If I listened to Tony when he first told me about it, I could have seen the film when it was in theaters.

One of fall's most anticipated releases is the MF Doom/Dangermouse album. Thanks to Tony, I know and enjoy MF Doom. If I listened to him earlier, I could have seen the MC at the Abbey Pub last fall.

At least I now know better.

"This is a god damn history lesson!"

Pink Gun did play last night. First time without a drummer. It was still Pink Gun because Brian was there, willing and ready to play drums. Since no one was kind enough to let us use their skins, Brian stood next to Charlie and I, drinking and laughing.

The set was about 15-minutes. It felt like an hour. Charlie and I started off with a song called, "I Wish I Knew My Dad." With droning feedback and a simple chord progression, we sounded like My Bloody Valentine meets the Velvet Underground. At least the music sounded like this. I sang/screamed like a survivor of a natural disaster. The song went on for about 5-minutes. Some topics I covered were: studded belts, tight jeans, Converse shoes, bands that won't share equipment, how I rule, how everyone should lick my balls and Hot Topic. The song was superb.

After our first song, we got our bearings. Unfortunately, the party hosts did not think we should progress with our unique style of music. Since we did not see eye to eye, I proceeded to make a host cry.

Song 2 is an untitled ditty that was sung by a random girl. Playing a simple punk rock riff for the verse, I gave the female ample opportunity to express herself in a well-known music fashion. My chorus was a bright, psychedelic orchestra of song. Once again, the girl had more than enough music to work with. Since no one can sing like me, I had to take the mic back from her. She did not live up to expectations. Then again, I am the only one who can sing in Pink Gun.

By this time, the party was divided. About 75% of the people there wanted us to stop, but the tight jeans they were wearing was not good for blood flow, therefore, they were not able to move. The other 25% of the crowd were frantically screaming for us to continue the gospel of Pink Gun. So Charlie and I faced adversity, guarded out amps (the hosts were trying to unplug us) and charged forward.

"Since U Been Gone." We performed a life-changing version of "Since U Been Gone." Out of key, slower, sexier and, obviously, life-altering, those who hated us were frozen yet again. How could two men, two musicians, two preachers of rock and roll, do so much with so little? I will answer that for you. Depression and desperation. That's all it takes. Pink Gun has enough of both to change multiple worlds.

Three songs into our set, the guitars were done for. After 5-minutes of getting unplugged and plugging back in, I decided to take the band in a new direction and just sing. Use the only instrument I was born with and belt out the most poetic lyrics uttered since e.e. cummings. Some topics that I covered were: rock and roll, Kelly Clarkson, how everyone should suck my balls again, how sexy I looked in my dress, how awesome Charlie is at guitar, how awesome I am at guitar, the state of economics, why the bands before and after us should die and that the hosts should call the cops because I'm over 21 and don't have to worry. Then they did call the cops.

For the first time in the history of Pink Gun, we've lived up to everything I knew we could be. We made a girl cry, froze wanna-be hipsters (we played in Lakeview, not Wicker Park), destroyed a room (at least the hard-wood floors, Micah and I spilled at least 3 beers each), pissed off all the other bands and, most importantly, had the police called on us.

Pink Gun is available for your next shin-dig.

Symphony of destruction

I am in a "band" called Pink Gun. It's is the greatest band of all-time. We do not practice, record or jam. We just blow asses away. If anyone has a camera at tonight show, I will post pictures.

Agassi

Though I'm not a tennis fan and have never really understood the game, I am very impressed on Andre Agassi's win tonight over James Blake. Coming behind from a 6-3, 6-3 deficit, Agassi ended up winning the match.

I began watching the match in a local pub, drinking overpriced Bodington's and Blue Moon's. At first glance, the match was pretty much over. Agassi looked tired and defeated. The much younger Blake was wiping the floor with him. Then, out of nowhere, Agassi won the third round (I think that's the right term). From this point on, I was glued to the screen.

Halfway through the fifth round, USA cut over to an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I just now found out that Agassi won. Congrats Mr. Agassi. You may no longer have hair or the chance to have sex with Brooke Shields, but you did win a pointless sporting event that only the upper class care about. Good job asshole.

Bob Dylan wrote a lot of good songs

Can't you hear me calling your name girl?

Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday when you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, ain't it a shame, when you got Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

It's time to kill everyone. Don't line up, it's boring that way.

People are going to read this and worry about me. "Oh no, he's lost his mind." No. That is not the case. PCP is a good drug. Good drug. Good god. Matt Drudge.

Then there is a liar too.

One day, when there is justice in the world, all the kids on myspace, AIM or whatever technology that will soon be outdated will get everything they ask for. Partners much too old. Tattoos that were once to die for. The incorrect spelling of words that no longer mean anything.

What the fuck is wrong with you 13-year olds that think Trent Reznor is tortured? He's a god damn millionaire! Go listen to old blues guys. They know depression. Not some white guy from Ohio.

The left wing are full of godless hedonists. But the right wing is full of people that believe in god and fuck the help. In the ass. In their headquarters. And leave black eyes. The left does not leave black eyes. The Black Eyed Peas are the definition of the 21st century Uncle Tom Band. I'm blacker than Will.i.am.

I don't support the troops but not the war. I support the war and not the troops. That's what gets me blow, whores and money. I fuck in money.

If I drink white out, I'll probably get sick. If I snort white out, I'll probably be a little happier. If I stab a hobo, I'll be happy. I'm going to Bucktown.

I hate blogger

My post was erased when I tried to use spell check. That doesn't happen with a pen and paper.

Some Things I've Learned In The Past Few Days

When sending a finished product to a printer, it is not really finished. Why? Miscommunication. There is always miscommunication.

If you want a commercially and critically successful hip-hop album, bring in Jon Brion (Kanye West). This does not apply to any other genre of music (Fiona Apple).

People who have just experienced loss don’t like dry humor. I.E.: So, what was so great about that dead dude?

Metal, as a whole, is the funniest of all genres, specifically the lyrics. They’re great or horrible. The definition of so bad it’s good.

I am no good at designing websites. I am good at pointless pop-music trivia. It won me two t-shirts from XRT.

Eh

Last night's reading went well. No one died and there were enough people at Quimby's to make it seem like there was a crowd.

The site is running a little behind, but a very basic shell should be up soon. Since there really can't be a finished version of the website, there really isn't anything to worry about. Except AIDS. And flooding.