Ron Santo's most hated place in the world

I'm going to Shea Stadium for the first and probably last time on Monday to see the Cubs-Mets game. There will be no black cats.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Kelsey and I spin records tonight at Innjoy in Wicker Park. From 10-12 it's indie-tastic and from 12-2 it's all about Chicago. Since you probably know one of us since you're reading this, come at 9 for the hour long open bar.

The photo kinda sums everything up.

Art, schmart

77. "My Kid Could Pain That"
Marla Olmstead is a painter. She was four when this documentary was shot. Her paintings currently sell for $20,000. There has been some controversy surrounding the authenticity of her work. This 2007 documentary tells some of this story.

What started as a documentary about what is art turned into an issue of authenticity. It's good that I watched "F for Fake" a few months ago. I recommend both films.

Would you pay a few thousand dollars for an abstract painting? Would you be upset if you found out the painter wasn't who you thought? Would it make the painting less worthy?

Column 3 "American Jesus"

1. You don't talk about politics and religion. I was reminded of this on a daily basis in high school and the first couple years of college. Why wouldn't you talk about politics? It's the one thing that impacts all of us. Why not talk about belief or lack thereof belief in god? It seems like everyone has a view on god. Hell, some high schoolers have one view and that's how god is keeping them from using their forbidden parts. Anyways, I liked writing about politics and religion more than anything else. This got me in trouble. I was picked to be editor of my high school newspaper the first month of senior year. Before that, I would write about music, film and general pop culture stuff for the paper. This soon changed. The first issue I oversaw featured negative op-eds about the schools mandatory religious retreat, positive reviews of Kevin Smith's "Dogma" and how the Catholic church needs to completely overhaul their views on gays and lesbians. When the paper was released during the last period of a Friday, I was quickly called down to the main office to explain why I printed each story. By the next Friday I was relieved of the position. By the Friday after that I had begun my first zine, Foul Issue 1.

2. I wrote about politics at 17 because I figured going into politics would be the best way to change the world. Sure, punk bands are cool, but they don't solve world issues, that's up to politicians. In retrospect I was a naive teenager, but I wish I still held those naive beliefs. By the second year of college as a political science major, I learned what I already knew, that business and money control most of everything. Following politics became like following celebrities. I went back to writing just about music, films and pop culture for the college newspaper. I'd write some columns about politics, like my Vote or Pie campaign (think P. Diddy's Vote or Die but more delicious), but for the most part, I was done. I did get the chance to see Obama's 2004 senate campaign up close, but I was more of a spectator than a journalist, recording interviews for radio work.

By the time I hit drinking age, politics were boring. Hell, I understood why people voted for Bush, that guy looks like a lot of fun. He might make everything I ever wanted to happen harder to happen, but that's cool, he just wants to party.

"The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" went from scathingly funny to my main news source. Checking reliable news sources on a daily basis stopped soon after the 2004 election cycle. In the last year I've been getting back into the political swing of things. I listen/watch "Bill Moyers Journal" weekly, get consistent political emails or links from my girlfriend about stories she thinks I'd like, read Thomas Frank, subscribed to NPR podcasts and made sure I knew the stance most presidential candidates took. But I still don't talk to most people about politics and religion. It's just rude.

3. McCain's VP pick is Sarah Palin. She's an NRA member. She is pro-life. She has a newborn and a teenage daughter that's pregnant. That's all fine and good. But hypothetically, if Sarah Palin is attacked by a male wielding a gun, rapes Palin and Palin becomes pregnant with the rapists child, would she change her stance on abortion? On guns?

I realize that because of this writing I will probably be checked out or monitored by the Secret Service or something. I don't want Palin or anyone to be raped with a gun to their heard. In fact, I'm not cool with non-gun rape and I'm not cool with guns. Yea, I take hard stances on difficult issues.

McCain's VP pick Sarah Palin spoke last night at the Republican National Convention. She said:

I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a "community organizer," except that you have actual responsibilities. I might add that in small towns, we don't quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they are listening, and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening.

Since hearing this sound bite on the news last night, I might be as passionate as I was at 17. I worked with a community organizer in Chicago. He is underpaid and overworked. He resides in the community he works. His responsibilities include keeping under aged at-risk children in high school, helping gang members get out of gangs, helping former gang members receive job training, helping parents of children in the community learn English, help get guns off the street, help the elderly get to their church service and, maybe most important of all, be a living example of how someone with a college education can go back home and do something positive. Palin said a small-town mayor has more responsibilities. If you think I'm misinterpreting what she said, look up on paragraph. I used a quote.

4. I work in a bar. I've learned many valuable lessons in what not to discuss. Politics and religion are on that list. But fuck it. After seeing Kathy Lee Gifford this morning say that she just wants everyone to like everyone in politics, I'd like to get back to my roots. Today I will listen to Bad Religion and start pointless fights with people that don't agree with 100% of the things I say.

See Daniel Knox while it's still affordable

This is the second Knox video I've done this year. Originally, the footage on the screen was going to be Kelsey and I dancing on rooftops with July 4th fireworks going off behind us. I shot a version of this but wasn't too happy. I went with what's below.

Daniel Knox is playing in the Hamptons this weekend. He's opening for Rufus Wainwright. On Monday he plays the Cake Shop on the Lower East Side of NYC.

Please watch the video. I promise you'll enjoy the song.

Apple?

76. "Conversations with Other Women"
What a wonderfully simple story. A man and a woman that once knew each other and connect at a wedding. That's it. There are four, maybe five, speaking parts. In less than 90 minutes we get a good glimpse of why these two can't be together. Simple but great.

What groundbreaking camerawork. Using a split-screen, first time director Hans Canosa focuses on her two characters. Occasionally the frames will overlap. Occasionally we'll see flashbacks that might have happened or alternate endings to scenes. Think "Eternal Sunshine" but without any of the Michel Gondry effects. Canosa uses something simple like using two cameras at all times to create something wholly original.

I can't rave about this film enough. I seem to be enjoying works that could've or were plays. "Conversations with Other Women" would work as a play. With solid performances by Aaron Eckhart and Helena Bonham Carter, the relationship seems real. All in all, watch this film.

Side note: Though I'm not sure if this is true since I read it on Wikipedia, it seems that the director cut the film herself because an editor that was brought in couldn't cut two cameras at the same time. Since Canosa never edited a film, she taught herself Final Cut Pro and did it all on a Mac.

Last show(s)

Twin Wrecks the Memory is playing their last show tomorrow night (8/29) at the Empty Bottle. Kelsey and I will be DJing in between sets. While it'll be fun, it does suck that these guys are calling it quits. They've been one of the most consistently good garage rock bands in Chicago for the last five years.

If you can't make it out to this show, head over to Ronny's, where another band I like is calling it quits. Beard, a three piece consisting of violin, bass and drums, is also tossing in the towel.

All bands breakup. Some do it too soon. I think that's what is happening this Friday night.

This was nominated for an Oscar?

75. "The Stranger"
Orson Welles directed this 1946 film about a Nazi that has come to Connecticut to begin a new life. Welles plays the Nazi being followed by Edward G. Robinson. The story could have been told in 2/3 the time. What keeps "The Stranger" watchable are Welles interesting camera angles.

Welles' character has a fascination with clocks. The town clock hasn't worked in years. Welles works on the clock day and night until it finally chimes. It's pretty clear that this clock will play some role in his demise early in the film. Nevertheless, this aspect of the film doesn't get too predictable. Multiple shots of a rickety ladder at odd angles give the viewer a sense of unrest. Though I may be observing something from film school 101, I still enjoyed it.

Fans of Welles will enjoy the film. Fans of noir, which is how "The Stranger" is usually classified, will be disappointed.

Worst thus far?

74. "The Onion Movie"
This was filmed in 2003. It was released in June of 2008. It shouldn't have seen the light of day. Everyone that distanced themselves from it was correct.

It is that bad. It's worse than bad "Mad TV." It's worlds from The Onion News Network. It's difficult to imagine how bad this thing is. I can't really do justice to it.

Don't rent or buy this thing. This blog, http://the-onion-movie.blogspot.com/, has a rip of the entire movie. I dare anyone to get through 20 minutes. I watched all 80. I thought there would be one redeeming moment.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

73. "Meet Bill"
Aaron Eckhart is one of those actors that I'll watch in anything. I should stop doing that. "Meet Bill" didn't work. I wasted 90 minutes because I happen to like most of what I've seen of Eckhart.

Bill works in a bank. The band his father-in-law owns. His wife is sleeping with the local news anchor. Bill is stuck in a rut. He begins to mentor a free spirit kid that either wants to fuck Jessica Alba or just needs an excuse to wear women's underwear. Bill gets high, begins to eat better, possibly fucks Alba's friend and does other things that make his eyes open up to blah blah blah.

There's a lot of stuff in this film that could have worked. None of it did. Instead, you get a film that seems 'indie' in all the wrong ways.

Delusion

72. "Lars and the Real Girl"
Ryan Gosling should have been nominated for Best Actor, the film should have been nominated for Best Picture and it definitely should have beaten "Juno" for Best Original Screenplay. There are no flaws in this film.

Lars is a loner. He lives in a small town in what's supposed to be Wisconsin. He lives in the garage of the house he grew up in. His brother and wife live in the main house. Lars works in a cubicle. Lars can't stand human touch. Lars orders a Real Doll. Lars' Real Doll is his girlfriend in the most Christian sense of the word. The townspeople do not mock Lars. The Real Doll becomes something real. All of this sounds like the film would be awful, pandering for cheap laughs and social stereotypes. It does none of that. Instead, screenwriter Nancy Oliver wrote an original story that paints a portrait of delusion that is heartbreaking but, all in all, not that bad.

It's a simple film. The shots are beautiful. The acting is superb. It's heavy but not overbearing. I can not think of an original film released in 2007 better than "Lars and the Real Girl."

Clowning around

71. "Capturing the Friedmans"
The rare documentary that doesn't tell you who really does what. You may feel one way about the child molester, but you're never sure if he's actually a child molester. "Capturing the Friedmans" answers no questions in the best possible way.

The father is accused of abusing boys from his computer class. He's quiet. He denies the allegations. He does not deny that he has child pornography. The students accounts vary. The accusations seem exaggerated. The townspeople develop a mob mentality. The father takes a plea. The son that's also accused takes a plea. No question is accurately answered. At the end of the two hour documentary I found myself online, looking for what each living member of the Friedman's is doing.

A wonderful documentary that may make some with a history of sexual abuse queasy.

Jack Black on heroin = funny

70. "Tropic Thunder"
If anything, this film proves that Ben Stiller is a good director, Jack Black can still be funny, Robert Downey Jr. has a great sense of humor and most of all, Tom Cruise may be crazy but he seems to be alright with that.

Yes, the movie is insensitive but it's insensitive to everyone, so it's not as offensive, like Archie Bunker, right?

It's good. I don't think it'll be the funniest film of the year, but it's very good.

This photo should've been the cover

33. George Burns "George Burns' How to Live to Be 100 or More"
The book has a 14 point font and very large margins. If you sat down and read it for an hour you'd finish with 15-minutes to kill.

If you like jokes about old dudes making whoopee with young ladies, this book is for you. If you like jokes about being Jewish and old and making whoopee with young broads, you should get this book tattooed on your back.

Don't trust bongo players

32. Richard P. Feynman "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!"
What a dick. Sure, the guy helped create the atom bomb and won a Nobel Prize in physics, but he should keep his stories about fucking and charming everyone to himself.

This book consists of Feynman reminiscing about random events from his life, like deciding to play drums in Brazil, sketching nude women, hypnotism, building radios as a child and more. This style makes it ideal for bathroom reading. You're not stuck in any story too long and if you feel like the guy is just bragging, which is often, it's all over within three pages.

I did enjoy the last part of the book, which was taken from a lecture. Maybe I should just read Feynman when he's talking about science.

Hippy-Dippy Yippy?

69. "Butterflies Are Free"
Goldie Hawn is in her underwear for the majority of this film.

A hippy, Hawn, moves in to a San Francisco apartment that shares a wall with some dude that likes to stare at her. She's kind of pissed of her likes to stare. She goes over say hello. They talk. 10 minutes into their conversation she realizes he's blind. Wow! This guy can't see anything! He wasn't staring at all! Maybe they could work as a couple! He wants to be a singer-songwriter! Because butterflies are free! Like you and me!

This film was a play. There are five characters. It's set in three locations. It works. I enjoyed it.

The music kinda blows. But to be fair, the guy is blind, so maybe his lack of one sense made the sucking worse. What a bad joke.

Artsy tits

68. "Cashback"
When I watched this film it was currently the most watched film on the Netflix "Watch Instantly" list. That is because there is a cornucopia of bare breasts.

"Cashback" is about an art school student that has just gone through a breakup. He suffers from insomnia and decides to take a job at a 24-hour grocery store. While working he realizes he can freeze time. While freezing time he admires the female form, taking off dresses and blouses and paints them. In other words, there are a lot of tits in "Cashback."

The story is alright, the dialogue gets a little annoying but the camera work is wonderful. If I didn't write about this film I would've forgotten everything within a month.

Side note: It sees that if you want to make bare breasts artsy, just have the actress not smile, move slowly (if at all) and have something like Mazzy Star or Elliott Smith music begin to creep in once the shirt or sweater begins to leave the shoulder.

NERD ALERT!

31. Douglas Copeland "jPod"
I did not like this book. This book did not make me want to read anything else by Douglas Copeland. This book made me glad that I don't have discussions like the characters in "jPod." This book was loaned from a friend so I read it. He did a bad job with his recommendation.

I've waited to write this because all of my friends that have read "jPod" enjoyed every bit of it. From the 20 pages of Pi to the pages with five words in 40 point font, the conversations about fast food, Atari games and anime love, the absurd plot lines and unrealistic action, Copeland did no wrong. Everything they loved made me want to stop reading.

Another friend, not the one that loaned the book, told me that "jPod" is brilliant because it spits water at the people that panned Copeland's "Generation X." I didn't read "Generation X" and probably won't after this read. A book should stand up on its own. I doubt Copeland would agree. In order to understand the majority of "jPod," the reader needs a thorough understanding of Western pop culture for the last 30 years.

Most of all, I loathed Copeland writing himself in the book. If that kind of thing doesn't bother you, you may not hate this book.

Nothing like "Space Jam"

67. "A Certain Kind of Death"
"This American Life" did an episode about the people that sort out estates for those that pass away with no family or friends. This film is about those people.

This short documentary features no narration. Instead we get sparse dialogue images of bloated carcasses. All in all, it's kinda what you would expect to see. A very well done documentary about a subject most people would shy away from.

No reason this should exist

66. "Space Jam"
I figured, "Why not?" I wish I didn't.

Fuck you, Billy Murray. It's OK for basketball players to make awful films, but not you. This is just shit.

Awful title, good book

30. Richard Roeper "Sox and the City"
I am a Richard Roeper fan. I've read his columns since grade school and have always enjoyed them. I think I'm in the minority among people my age that enjoy Roeper.

This half memoir, half love letter is about the 2005 Chicago White Sox and the other Sox teams Roeper loved. He writes about his parents first date, at a Sox game, attending Disco Demolition as a preteen, placing money on the Sox going all the way in Vegas every year and why Cubs fans should thank the Sox for Harry Caray. If you're a Sox fan you'll love the book. If you like reading about baseball, you should like the book. If you don't care about the Sox or Chicago or baseball and aren't romantic about the game, stay away.

Boring and sad sex, drugs and rock and roll

65. "Mayor of the Sunset Strip"
Phil Spector isn't in a lot of films. He makes a brief appearance in this 2003 documentary about DJ and the original scenester Rodney Bingenheimer. By the time the producer graces the screen I was no longer thinking about the alleged murderer, I was too engrossed about how sad Bingenheimer's life seemed to me.

Rodney Bingenheimer moved to L.A. as a teenager. His mom dropped him off at a former stars home and let him figure out how to get by in the world. Within the next few years he became an extra for Davey Jones, working in A and R (at least it seemed like he did), opened a disco and hosted a show on KROQ. He still hosts his radio show and still seems to have some powerful connections in the record business. He still has a sad life.

Rodney is in love with a woman who does not feel the same way. He's surrounded by yes men and other sad souls. He seems to be aware of all of this, but wears a smile throughout.

This film makes me fearful of the entertainment industry.

Column 2 "Iggy Pop as the Devil"

64. "The Dark Knight"
It's good, great in fact. Action from the first scene, a decent story that doesn't get too weighty, excellent shots of Chicago and, like every critic still breathing has said before, Heath Ledger is probably the best comic book villain yet. But like my first listen to Nirvana's 1996 live album "From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah," I could only think, "This is his last performance. I wish there were more performances." Just like that last Nirvana album, I'm sure I'll see this film many times, thinking about the first time I saw the film.

The anticipation for this film has been growing for over a year. The film was shot in the Loop last summer. My girlfriend's workplace was affected by early morning and late night shoots. On a Saturday last August she saw The Joker skateboarding and Batman eating from a Kraft service table while looking for parking. That day was Cal's Fest, an all day garage festival held at a downtown Loop dive bar. For those familiar with Cal's, you'll notice an early scene shot from the corner of Cal's. What's the point of all this? Chicagoans have been following this thing well before Heath Ledger's death.

I didn't count screen time but I think Gary Oldman could be considered the lead actor. The story is based more on him than Bruce Wayne, not a bag thing. Part two of the Christopher Nolan Batman's isn't bogged down with back story. The Joker has no back story, it's part of why he's scary. The only thing you need to know about Harvey Dent is he was once pure, loves the woman Bruce Wayne has always loved and can be a way for Batman to no longer exist. No samurais, underground societies, manors or dead parents. This time it's about catching the bad guy and watching stuff explode. In fact, by having the Scarecrow show up in one of the first scenes was a neat nod to the first film. Once that was out of the way, it was time to bring in the new guys.

"Batman Begins" created its own world. It was obvious from certain ariel shots that the bridges were real, used to cross the Chicago River, and the rest was miniature sets made to look like a poor and desolate shanty town. The train system that the Wayne's set up was the El, but the El in Gotham is three levels and has a lot more graffiti. "The Dark Night" gave up on creating its own world for the better. The El in Chicago is now the El in Gotham. The streets, all the city streets, are Chicago streets. The explosions happened in and around Chicago, not in a controlled studio. By foregoing making Gotham from scratch, Nolan made the film more realistic, a word not usually used to describe a comic book film.

Back to Ledger. He's the perfect villain. He doesn't care about anything, answers to no one and is more than willing to care and cut for laughs. Money or a lack thereof wouldn't change anything. Think of what "Fight Club" was supposed to be and you get The Joker. Even his appearance adds to the manic character. Every good punk singer should take some notes from his fashion. Custom made suits with colors resembling Willy Wonka violently puking. Stringy hair that can only be achieved by a total lack of care and a penchant for tiny bugs. Makeup that is caked on, sweat off and applied in a way that can only be described as childlike. If you encountered a man like this on the street you'd cross the road, but definitely remember the character.

Jack Nicholson was reportedly angry that the filmmakers didn't ask him to reprise the Joker. He thought he could pull off a demented villain again (though looking back on his turn at the role, it seems like he didn't pull anything off). When Ledger died Nicholson was reported as saying he warned Ledger that the role might be his demise. While Nicholson is surely an asshole, he may have been right. Ledger did seem to do something most actors never will achieve, recreate a character everyone knows and may win acting's highest honor.

All of the acclaim is deserved. Will the next Batman be as good? Probably not. Maybe it shouldn't be made. It's difficult to think of a better way to present Batman. It's even more difficult to think of a villain better than The Joker. Will another comic book film be this good? Maybe, but I doubt it'll come from Marvel or DC or any big studio. Nolan has perfected what you can do with 70 year old characters while staying within a PG-13 rating. The genre should be laid to rest for a while. This won't happen. We're going to get at least another five years of super hero films and every reviewer will say, "Wasn't Heath Ledger great in "The Dark Knight?"

He didn't get a cut of merchandising or DVD sales

63. "Overnight"
It's obvious where this film is heading from the first scene. First time writer/director of "The Boondock Saints" thinks he's hot shit, alienates his family and friends, loses what made him the next "it" kid, makes film, film bombs, ends up worse than he was before the film began. It's still a good film. Though I'm not a fan of "The Boondock Saints" I found this story engrossing. Ideal for an afternoon viewing.

Sad and lonely

62. "Super High Me"
I think Doug Benson is a very good comic. I laugh at his pot jokes. I do not get high. I figured the film would bore me and end up turned off within the first 15 minutes. I was wrong. This documentary/experiment was a not-too-pothead friendly look at both the comedians life and the affects of marijuana. Like "Super Size Me," it's obvious what those affects are, the study is the reason for film but not the reason to keep watching. Benson's solitary life as a stand-up is what makes the film engrossing.

Two-thirds of the film is about Benson not smoking for thirty days, followed by thirty continuous days of smoking. The other third is about the legality situation of medical marijuana in California. Since the state said it's legal over 200 shops have sprung up. The Feds do not agree and occasionally shut down stores. That stuff is boring. What's sad and kinda funny is watching Benson smoke up alone, send his mother money because no one else does and perform with his friends.

Purple leather

61. "Raw"
Maybe I didn't like it because I'm too young. Maybe I didn't like it because I was sober. Either way, I didn't like Eddie Murphy's second comedy film.

Murphy recently announced he was retiring from films and was going to go back to stand-up. It'll be better than his films, but not by much.

Cleaning out my bag

In an effort to wrangle up all my pay stubs since March I've been emptying my backpack and messenger bags. Rather than just discard random writings, I've decided to include some.

Early January 2008 in Cleveland with Mike
We could go in as early as 1:35
-
The outfits alone are in the thousands. He kicked down the door! And we need 2 doors! And smoke machines! NUGE! Sorry I'm not more lively. Like a woman from Tokyo!
-
Why did he ignore the girl to croon to Weird Al?
-
Look at the people dancing on the risers.
-
I'll eat Really slow.
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I want to be in Shok Paris!!!
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I think stop-action animation is great.
-
I'll bet you $10 they auto-tuned every vocal track on the song.

December 2007 in CVS, probably something I overheard and felt the need to catalogue since it's written on the back of a receipt
"Hey, you might now want to eat that, I have to bring you home for Christmas."

Wal-Mart might not sell this film

60. "Wall-E"
Pixar is really good at what they do.

"Wall-E" is easily the darkest Disney film since "Bambi" or "Dumbo." It's set 800 years from now, when Earth is too polluted for human life. Wall-E is a trash compactor of sorts. He's alone on a lonely planet. His only friend is a cockroach. Everyone who lives in America will know this by now.

Easily the best 2008 film I've seen this year. It made its own world, created wholly original characters, used a song to help tell a story (think "Punch Drunk Love") and had a message that didn't preach and still gives hope. Top that, Dreamworks.

Carefully placing microphones around the room

29. Mick Brown "Tearing Down the Wall of Sound: The Rise and Fall of Phil Spector"
This biography exists because Phil Spector 'allegedly' murdered Lana Clarkson. The most boring part of the book is the part where Phil Spector 'allegedly' murders Lana Clarkson. Spector's recording techniques and wacky (serial killer wacky, not Bugs Bunny wacky) lifestyle is the reason to read this book.

Phil Spector is cut from the same cloth as Orson Welles. Both men created something at an early age that they could never top. Welles' life can easily be followed through his films. The same does not go for Spector. The man is confusing and this biography does nothing to sort things out. No book can. Spector is probably certifiably crazy with a drive on par with Hitler.

Mick Brown interviewed Phil Spector for a British music magazine a few weeks before Spector 'allegedly' killed Clarkson. The producer talked for four hours about his recording style, life philosophies, life as a record man, being a father and more. Based on the excerpts in this book it appears that it was an interesting interview. What's more intriguing is the setting of the exchange, Spector's castle. The interviewer was forced to wait for hours, witnessed Spector descend his staircase dressed in a cape to a soundtrack of classical music and dined alone while Spector hid upstairs.

Brown and his team did an excellent job compiling interviews. The first 350 pages don't touch upon the murder. Instead, you learn about what drove this man to become a megalomaniac. His overbearing mother, insane sister, father's suicide and small stature are thoroughly explored. Fellow musicians, friends and employees speak openly to paint a multifaceted picture of the creator of the Wall of Sound. Though the book was published to cash in on the trial (part two begins this fall), it does stand up with the best pop music biography's.

No Jambi, the Genie

59. "Pee-wee's Big Adventure"
Yes, I was a fan of "Pee-wee's Playhouse" as a kid and had never seen the film. I guess I'm not really a child of the 80's.

The Tim Burton 1985 is wonderful is every way. It stars a wholly original character that lives in his own world but grows to be loved in each new one he stumbles upon. The mixture of 50's kitsch, 80's hair and Burton's Dali inspired sets made the film timeless in it's own way. Everyone that has seen this film after childhood would agree. It's sad that the film, show and character were forced into obscurity, but it was probably for the best. Two films and 45 episodes gave us just enough Pee-wee to miss him when he went.

Keep an eye out for a young Sarah Vowell

58. "Man in the Sand"
This is an odd documentary. It's kind of a film about the life and legend of Woody Guthrie. It's partly about Billy Bragg following in the footsteps, figuratively and mostly literally, of Guthrie. It attempts to give some perspective on the making of "Mermaid Avenue," a collaborative album between Billy Bragg and Wilco. It doesn't do any of these things well.

I read Greg Kot's book about Wilco a few years ago. He mentions an interview with Jeff Tweedy about these sessions. The Chicago band was taken aback by an extremely large American flag on the wall of Bragg's Dublin's studio. They thought it was odd that an Irishman was proud of a country he never lived in. The flag is in nearly every scene shot in Ireland.

Billy Bragg fans will eat this shit up. Woody Guthrie fans will call Billy Bragg a cheap impostor but proceed to eat this shit up. Wilco fans, which includes me, will argue that Tweedy should've done this project alone (which couldn't have happened because Bragg asked Wilco to join him) because he wrote the music to "California Songs" and that's much better than anything Bragg did. Wilco fans will also think, "Wow, everyone in that band has aged quite a bit in 10 years."

The documentary and albums (the first album came out in 1998 to critical acclaim so a second volume was released in 2000) exist because of Guthrie's daughter Nora. She comes off as an idealistic hippy that probably wants to sleep with Billy Bragg. But what do I know? I didn't grow up around Bob Dylan.

"I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" is a much better documentary.

Welles deserves the acclaim

57. "F for Fake"
Orson Welles visual essay on fakery is the last film he ever saw completed. It is unlike any other film. It is quite a feat.

The first hour of "Fake" is about the world's best art forger, Elmyr, and the world's most well known lying writer, Howard Hughes 'biographer' Clifford Irving. The last half hour is about Picasso and the woman that scammed him into painting twenty-two portraits of her and got to keep them. One of these stories is fake.

It's difficult to give anything away about this film. It's non-linear, uses footage from a different documentary, has magic tricks and features narration and commentary by the film's director, co-star and editor, Orson Welles. The film is like the conversation you wish you had in philosophy or art class about art or philosophy. In a way, the film is just pure fun. It doesn't take itself too seriously and features some of the most important artists of the 20th century. A wonderful film that is definitely not for everyone.

Heroin addict, alcoholic, deadbeat dad 'artist'

56. "Imagine"
I watched this John Lennon biography because Phil Spector is in a few scenes. It was not worth watching.

Unless you're a big Lennon fan and haven't seen or read "Anthology," there's no reason to watch this documentary. It does nothing but cater to the Lennon legend. He's tortured and great and childlike and a jealous guy and an artist and saves lives and doesn't believe in Beatles. It's all been said and seen and is boring and self-serving.

A New York Times reporter interviews Lennon about his billboard campaign. He says he has saved lives. The reporter calls him on being full of himself. The should have ended the film.

There are tits in the first scene for no reason

55. "Lethal Weapon"
He is getting too old for this shit.

For the other three people that haven't seen this film, let me give you some story notes. Mel Gibson is a suicidal cop with a loaded gun, a lethal weapon so they say. Danny Glover is a veteran cop who is getting too old for this shit. The two become partners. The two have to bust a drug cartel that happens to have some of Glover's old Nam buddies as middlemen. Shit goes down.

The film is dated. Besides Gibson's mullet, the cars, dialogue, film stock and music scream 1987. Those are the bad parts. Gary Busey is the great part. A henchman for the main smuggler, Busey is krazy, where Gibson is just crazy. He lets his boss burn his arm to set an example for another drug dealer. He has horse teeth. What more could you want from a villain?

I did not enjoy "Lethal Weapon" as much as I thought I would. Maybe it's the 500 parodies that I've seen.

I hate him! I love him! He's a scoundrel! He's a saint! He's crazy! He's a genius!

54. "Citizen Kane"
Preface: I'm writing this within an hour of seeing the film. I'm going between this and reading three reviews/critiques of the film in addition to some history. Be warned that this thing will probably be all over the place.

I've finally watched the greatest film of all time.

At 26, Orson Welles created his masterpiece. Coming off the success of his "War of the Worlds" radio play, he had complete control over his directorial debut. This did not happen again in his career.

I've known about this film, the history and the stature, since I knew that film was an art form. I knew that "The Simpsons" parodied the story of Kane when Mr. Burns yearns for his childhood plush bear 'Bobo.' I had a feeling that I had heard the song about Kane sung by a chorus line (I had, the White Stripes used to sing a verse or two at live shows). In other words, why haven't I seen this thing before? The only reason I can think of is fear, the fear that I won't understand the praise.

I do understand the praise. The cinematography alone makes it ground breaking. The story structure is still interesting. Welles' performance as Kane is probably taught in any self-respecting acting class. The audio is realistic and scary, specifically in scenes in Xanadu.

I do not completely understand why this is the greatest film of all time.

If I saw this film at 1941 and understood why Hollywood did not want to see a film that in any way resembled William Randolph Hearst, I might consider this the greatest film of all time.

Do I not think it's #1 because so many films have borrowed techniques that Welles created?

After seeing this and "The Lady From Shanghai" I see Welles love of mirrors and will probably steal some shots he's used.

Of the films on the AFI Top 100 Films list, I would say that "Singin' in the Rain," "It's a Wonderful Life" and "High Noon" should be moved to 1, 2 and 3. I would also add "The Thin Man," which isn't on the list, to number 4. "Citizen Kane" would be in the top 10.

I have a feeling that "Kane" will become more resonant the older I get. The idea that someone my age wrote (with Herman J. Mankiewicz) the greatest film of all time, lines that resonate today, lines about aging that only a dumb youth could stumble upon, makes me think there's something I won't understand till I'm on my deathbed.

Like I've been doing since I was thirteen, I'm once again looking to Roger Ebert to explain to me what I think I understand.

Holy shit, I watched 5 films in 14 hours

53. "My Man Godfrey"
William Powell is the epitome of what a man should aspire to be, classy, quick witted, intelligent and, perhaps most importantly, carries himself with an air of respect that he knows he deserves. I want to be William Powell.

In this 1936 classic Powell plays a bum who becomes a butler but is from a well to do family. Whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is Powell gets to play the character that George Clooney has been trying to embody since his early years on "Roseanne." The man is a gift to cinema.

It's not as good as "The Thin Man" series, but it's pretty damn good. Since it's now public domain there's no excuse not to watch this film.

The thing with Manson is distracting and sad

52. "King of California"
A remake of sorts of "The Tempest." The film stars Evan Rachel Wood as a 16-year old that has lived on her own for the last two years. She's dropped out of school, has no friends and works at McDonald's. Her father, played by Michael Douglas, is coming home from a mental institution. Once back he begins to search for gold. I'll leave it at that.

Michael Douglas is a great actor and Evan Rachel Wood is getting better with each picture. A solid piece of work.

Watch "King of Kong" instead

51. "Word Wars"
Either I was oblivious to the popularity of documentaries, which I doubt considering my illustrious job history working in theaters and video stores, or the genre has increased exponentially in the last ten years. A search on Netflix in the documentary section will give you titles on seemingly every topic.

"Word Wars" follows four Scrabble players on their quest to become the National Champion. There's the incoming champ that practices Thai Chi, a neurotic white man in his late 30s that probably has Aspberger's, a part-time comic and an African-American that hates the white man and lives in a Baltimore ghetto. This isn't like the cast of "Spellbound."

The production value is reminiscent of a high school science video.

So-so.

The poster is magnificent

50. "The Motel"
When reviewers say that a film "looks like an independent film" they're referring to flicks like "The Motel." The dialogue is sparse, the lighting is dim and the location is rural.

Did you see "Chuck and Buck" and like it? You'll probably like this. Did you see "Me and You and Everyone We Know" and think it ushered in a new form of cinema? You'll love this.

The casting was spot on. The emotional tole the 13-year old protagonist endures is believable and identifiable. Though the film is only 75-minutes, it does have a slow pace.

It was good. Not life changing or worth watching twice, but a good, solid indie film.

Julie Delpy is a talented lady

49. "Two Days in Paris"
Julie Delpy's 2007 film is wonderful even at 6am.

Delpy (who stars in, wrote, directed, edited, produced and scored! (I think that does deserve an exclamation.)) and Adam Goldberg are a couple who are spending two days at Delpy's Paris apartment after two weeks in Italy and on the way home to New York.

The film is all about the dialogue in a wonderful "Annie Hall" way. Goldberg bitches for the majority of the film and Delpy confronts many French stereotypes. If either of those things turn you off, avoid this like the plague. If not, watch this film. It's realistic (Delpy's real life parents play her parents in the film), beautiful, funny and smart.

I liked when they fought

48. "Semi-Pro"
A Will Ferrell B-Sides movie. Better than "Blades of Glory." Not nearly as good as "Anchorman." Is Ferrell playing the same character again? Kinda. Will your girlfriend like this movie? Probably not.

ADD or drugs

47. "Meet the Robinsons"
Kelsey wanted to see this film because the trailer showed a dinosaur that said "I have a big head and little arms." That is a funny line, so we rented the film.

A Disney film about an orphan who wants to see what his mother looks like. He is science obsessed and keeps his roommate up doing his experiments. For an upcoming science fair he submits a machine that lets you look back at memories you no longer remember. This is when the villain comes in and the film picks up. Till this point the film follows the typical Disney formula. Once the protagonist goes to the future things get a little nutty. There's no good way to describe what happens without giving away too much, so I'll just say that the director has ADD or enjoys psychedelic drugs.

This film will not be considered a classic and will not influence kids to become scientists. For a $1 rental from Redbox, it's worth it.

Demi Moore has aged well

46. "One Crazy Summer"
This is an awful movie. A decent cast can't save awful writing and a pointless, meandering plot. The only reason I didn't turn it off is because I started doing multiple tasks. Even as background it was disappointing.

If you search 'stiff' in google images you won't see the cover

28. Mary Roach "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers"
While "Stiff" is an excellent book about a subject that everyone ever can understand, it is not full of side-splitting laughs. Professional reviewers are liars or
have awful senses of humor.

The book is about what happens to cadavers that aren't buried or cremated. Dissection, crash test dummies, fertilizer and more possibilities each get their own chapter. Roach interviews multiple experts in their respected field for each section. By the end of the book the idea of being chopped up or liquefied isn't as disturbing as it once might have been. In a way, an excellent summer book.

You don't hear Ozzy's voice

45. "Iron Man"
A superhero movie does not have to stand on its own. It has years, decades of history behind it. The director can tell as much as he wants (I say he because to my knowledge, a woman has not directed a superhero movie in the last 20 years) of the origin. Therefore, there will be gaps. For example, how did Tony Starks' father start his company? Why would a billionaire playboy continue to perform his own experiments without a team of assistants? Why would a weapons company have to perform demos on enemy territory? Why do I care about these things when shit blows up?

"Iron Man" is an excellent superhero movie. It preaches but not too much. Robert Downey Jr. is an excellent Tony Stark. It's believable that this guy fucks a lot of random women and drinks a lot of random scotch. The suit looks good and the effects are wonderful. All in all, I understand all the praise it has received. But give me "X-Men 2." Wolverine cuts some guys tendons! That shit was bad-ass.

Column 1 "I've Been Watching Too Much TV"

I need a new job. Or cable. Something different. I'm running out of stuff to watch on Hulu and Netflix and haven't been able to sit down and watch anything on free television for months. The television is on if I'm home, but I can't pay attention. Some new show on NBC about teenagers taking care of kids is on. I'm half-watching. I'm also talking for my friend on Gmail and applying for jobs. I might be overstimulated and underwhelmed.

A girl on the show just locked herself in a bathroom and cried.

I remember a woman on a talk show crying. She had a baby. A live one. That she had to take care of. She was looking, well, not looking, but making sure that a gentleman that did not want to be the father was in fact the father. He was not. She cried some more.

The girl on the show that locked herself in the bathroom will take care of a child that is not her own. She will "learn a lesson." I need to learn a lesson. I still haven't changed the channel.

Earlier this week I watched four local news half hours from the same channel. I do not remember one story. I was ridiculed by my girlfriend. "Why would anyone watch local news when they could read the newspaper and get twice as much information in less time?" She did not know I had watched four local news half hours.

Since I work in a high school I share the schedule of a high school student. This means that I have some time from June to August to watch horrible television and contemplate the meaning of life. Rather than do anything productive, I'll stare with dead eyes at whatever glows at me. For better or worse, this does not include cable television. This limits what I let soak in. Since I don't have a child and am not that interested in cartoons, I'm stuck with 'classic' reruns (think "The Monkees"), court shows, talk shows, local news and game shows. I'll always watch local news. I'll sometimes watch game shows.

Today's news had stories on a shooting in Humboldt Park and other topics. I don't remember the other topics. I remember the shooting in Humboldt Park because I read about it. Will this make me stop watching the news? Probably not. It's better than the court shows.

"Merv Griffin's Crossword" is a new game show. Contestants are read a clue and see how many letters are in the answer. Simple. I enjoy this show. If this show constituted it's own network, I would watch. It would be on at all times. I can easily ignore the show and easily slip back in.

I should develop a new hobby.

I was never a Scrabble fan. I've played three games in the past two weeks, easily doubling all previous games of Scrabble I had played. I'm starting to like it. That might be work as a new hobby. I know there's a new Scrabble game you can play on-line. It's educational, right?

Baseball cards and comics filled most of my down time as a child. Maybe I could get into those again in a way that won't cost me a ton of money. Maybe I could collect cards and comics and not be extremely overweight and single.

The stock market could solve this. I'm thoroughly confused by the thing and have some interest. I'll listen to the NPR show about the stock market, the one hosted by Ty Risdol (sp?), and understand about half of what's said. I could make a lot of money. I could make enough money to buy all those cards and comics I had as a kid. I could make enough money to buy the network that airs "Crossword."

Maybe a new career is the way to go. A hobby might be too much. A new job will get me out of the house so I can avoid television all together.

Something not in the arts would be ideal. Maybe law would work. Sure, I don't want to be a lawyer and have no desire to go to law school, but there's a lot of money in that field. I could ski down mountains of cocaine! I could represent evil doers that have mountains of cash! I could buy a mountain!

Construction work runs in the family. Something with metal and a 5am wake-up call. My grandfather liked it enough to do it but not enough to do it past 60. He was always tired but somewhat happy. He was also buzzed on Old Style.

Bartending every night seems to be the answer, at least for now. I'll be too tired to wake up before noon, make enough money to play the stock market, be surrounded by drugs and lawyers and spend what little I'll make on baseball cards and comic books. Win-win.

It's funny when they get drunk

44. "Heavy Metal in Baghdad"
Yet another example that Vice does have something positive to offer. (Read their issue devoted to the Appalachians. It's the best single issue of a magazine I've read.)

This 2007 documentary follows the only heavy metal band in Iraq, Acrassicauda. The group formed during the Saddam regime, played a few shows, played a few more shows during the beginning of the war and haven't been able to play much since 2005. The bands practice space is destroyed by a missile, band members move to Syria and by August 2006, it looks like Acrassicauda is no more. The other members flee Iraq and start over as refugees. It looks like the band has a future. The guys from Vice help the band record a demo. The band is happy, but poor, beaten and cold (literally). The post script offers no glimmer of hope.

The documentary does not give a fair and balanced look at what it's like to be an Iraqi that wants to rock. That's fine. A film like this has a message going in, rock and roll can save your soul. Since rock and roll is not really possible in certain areas of the world, what happens? The film is about what happens to the people who aren't soldiers, who don't pledge an allegiance to anything or one.

For anyone that's ever been in band and has thought getting a show or finding a practice space has been an excuse to quit should watch this film.

It's actually Colbert's first book

27. Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert "Wigfield: The Can-Do Town That Just May Not"
I flipped through this book a few times when it was released and wanted to pick it up but the $23 price tag made me put it down. I found it a few weeks ago at a local coffee shop on sale for a dollar. It's worth somewhere between the two prices.

Wigfield is a fictional town that's less than a mile long, features multiple strip clubs and used tire shops and is the home to a wonderful, colorful cast of characters. The town is going to be destroyed by the city. A damn that was built for no purpose other than to line pockets is going to come down and the tiny little town's residents don't want it to happen. Well, they kinda want it to happen because they'll get some government payouts. But they're not a town. See...I'm giving too much of nothing away. The book is funny. It's easy to hear the voices of the three authors when reading accounts of the fictional characters.

Read the book is you like "Strangers with Candy." I can't promise you'll like the book if you're a fan of "The Colbert Report."

Everything In Its Right Place

I've spend the last two hours looking up recording artists home town.

Kelsey and I went to some garage sales yesterday and found two crates of 45s for $30. I talked the guy down to $23 with a guitar pedal too. I like going to garage sales.

The first thing I do upon receiving a large amount of music is separate Chicago artists from the rest. Then I alphabetize the Chicago acts. The artists that aren't from the Windy City go in their own pile. The artists I'm not sure of make up the largest stack. It is these artists that I'm looking up. I am having a good time. I am thinking about doing a podcast about this kind of thing, researching relatively unknown bands and artists.

I did this with baseball cards. My mom likes to remind me of the time Harry Caray was reading off the Cubs roster while I was organizing my cards. He would repeat certain players names and I would lose track of who would go where (I had an elaborate system for all of my sports cards. Baseball had the most confusing. I would pull the cards of my favorite players, Andrew Dawson, Kirby Puckett, Greg Maddux and Ryne Sandberg, first. Next would come the card company. For example, Topps 88, Donruss, 89, etc. Then the doubles of those cards would go in binders. One for the American League, one for National League. Those would be divided by teams. The triplets of cards would go in shoe boxes to sell to the local card shop or to trade.) After ten minutes or so, I gave up and stomped out of the room.

---

I'm adding another goal to the New Year's Resolution. In addition to the reading of 52 books (on schedule), watching 102 films (slightly behind) and making 6 videos (way behind), I will attempt to post 52 columns on this thingy. A column will qualify as anything I write that's at least 800 words. I'm going easy on myself. The point is to take the things I already write in notebooks and napkins and flesh them out. Should be simple. I've spent too many nights watching episodes of "Friends" and "Will & Grace." I don't like "Friends" or "Will & Grace."

As a kid I never knew he was Cuban, I just thought he was on steroids

26. Jose Canseco "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big"
Sure, it reads like the diary of a 12-year old boy, but is that such a bad thing? Jose Canseco isn't the best writer or guy that talks into a microphone and has someone else write for him, but he does stick to his story. The man's story is simple, his dad pushed him too much, he was never loved as much as he should have been because he's Cuban, he loves steroids, there's nothing wrong with steroids and he is shy. The end. That's the whole book.

Though Canseco doesn't say much, he does make sure that linear storytelling is not present in "Juiced." The book reads like a monologue from a drunk wronged by his job, wife and the heavens. Once again, not a horrible thing.

I don't recommend this book for any non baseball fan. Hell, I don't recommend it to anyone that cares about the steroid controversy. I would recommend it to someone like me, someone that remembers the Bash Brothers, Canseco on the cover of Beckett (the baseball card price guide magazine) and dingers. Canseco hit a whole lot of dingers.

Similiar to quality as "Elephant" by the White Stripes

25. David Sedaris "When You Are Engulfed in Flames"
I take David Sedaris for granted. When asked about favorite books or authors, I never bring up his name or works. I should. Sedaris' newest collection of essays is just as good as his previous work and yet another reminder that he's the best at what he does.

"When You Are Engulfed in Flames" is not as good as "Me Talk Pretty One Day" but much better than "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim." I have no idea why. I laughed just about the same amount through all three works, but found myself connecting more with this one. For example, in the long form piece about quitting smoking, I found myself laughing out loud and proceeded to read a paragraph to my girlfriend. It's that kind of book.

David Sedaris is the writer that everyone thinks they can be. They can not. Augesten Burroughs is a good example. His memoir "Running With Scissors" is more well known, partly because of the feature length film, but not nearly as good. It seems forced in every way. Sedaris does not. His voice is wholly original because he's not the most articulate or beautiful writer. His quips come from experience as an art school grad that poured pudding on his head and called it art. Unless you follow those footsteps, I doubt you'll sound like a member of the Talent Family.

Eminem was in that

43. "Little Black Book"
Kelsey and I watched this the last night in our old place. We watched it because the Internet was packed, the DVDs were in a box and we hate ourselves.

Awful in every way.