Two more days

Fetor at Liar's Club. A chance to burn bridges in musical form while showing the size of my guitar dick.

Pre-MachineFest

The fest starts next Tuesday. We lost two venues in the last week. I've been drinking a lot of coffee and hoping not to hear anyone cry.

Do I even like this anymore? Some of the shows are fun and some of the people are fun and sometimes I have fun, but I can't remember the last time that happened. I can't remember the last time I had fun doing all this type of work. If I got high I would have a lot of fun.

It's no fun trying to work with 'revolutionaries'. It's no fun when you're sober. It's violent when you're drunk.

I talk to Kelsey and Mike and not many others. That's OK by me.

I don't talk about my experiences working on large scale festivals because they're not positive. The people that know me understand this. The people that don't ask for tickets.

This isn't funny.

Slowly turning Republican with each inhale of second-hand pot smoke.

Come on, kids

Scary is fun and all, but look at who is making the scary.

The new Manson video ends with his new gal pal, 19-year old, Ms. Wood and the Anti-Christ drive a car over a cliff. It's very dramatic. Then the screen fades to black. Even more dramatic. Then comes "INTERSCOPE 2007".

Scary.

It would be much more frightening if anyone cared.

Melting

I now live in Humboldt Park.

Wang Dang Doodle

3

Issue 3 comes out tomorrow. Party three days from now. The cat loves me because I give him tuna.

"I don't even knows if he's mines or nots."

But Iggy's fucking rich

Josh Grobin makes me happy I'm not rich. I bet rich people my age like him.

No Fun

Non-digital cable sucks.

It took almost 6-hours that I could read before I sleep rather than watch TV or listen to records. That's fucked up.

The Machine Issue 3 comes out Wednesday. Party on Saturday. Rock 'N Roll guitar every night.

The Machine site finally has a surplus of stories. It only took about two-years.

Doug is going to Oregon State. He was kind enough to give me his giant canvas. It now has a noose.

Saturday was Rage Against The Machine. Sunday was The Stooges. Monday did not have a reunion.

My mother is applying for a overnight shift at K-Mart. While I'm pleased that she's looking for work once again, I am disappointed that she is not able to use her college education. I'm not sure if my sadness is due to her or my socialization. Fuck it. Maybe she can steal some shit. Like Iggy. Iggy would steal shit. Iggy would steal shit and then fuck the manager. Then Iggy would spend a few years homeless in L.A. Maybe I shouldn't think of Iggy so much.

What Easter is really about

Nope.

I did this.

Groceries

I can't shake grocery stores. Everything about them. Everything they are to all people. I'm helpless. I can't figure it out. I'll write more in zine form.

I bought pizza rolls and shampoo.

If I don't stop this I'll never get anywhere

Rather than use the internet for good or evil I'm using it to waste time. Accidentally researching stories and finding out more about bands from Chicago I've never heard of. I guess I'm not cut out for writing. I get too envious of people.

The outlying suburbs seem like the Wild West.

buck oh five

Though I've been on a computer with an Internet connection every day I haven't had a desire to update this thing. Since my last update I have...

-discovered the joys of mp3 blogs
-went to a wedding in Iowa
-started a new zine about things I don't understand
-came up with what I think would be a worthwhile grant proposal
-painted a RobotJesus
-wasted days (if you add it up) on the bus

Some of my friends are doing amazing things. Some of them should be in prison. I'm somewhere in the middle. I will never write a song like "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World.

Late nite, not night, but nite

Thank God for God. When it's past midnight and before 7am, I desire insane rhetoric aimed at God fearing souls. Did you know Jesus knew everything that was going to happen? Well, I just learned that. Thank you, WGN. You truly are the World's Greatest Network.

Holy shit, did I get fat. I don't wake up everyday and think I'm fat or care all that much, but my Widget has shown me the light. Photos from 2001. Photos of things I don't remember doing with people I no longer talk to. I have gained a substantial amount of weight.

Why is Dan calling me at 1:20am? Something about the band Traffic and choreographed moves.

There was a man in Mark chapter 5 that was possessed by demons and ran naked through a grave yard. Intellectuals are dumb like that guy. Girls are going wild. They went without underwear and spread their legs. God is going to hold you girls responsible. Jesus built my hot rod. All programs, infomercial, sitcom, news, etc., should have a guy that ties everything together. It sure makes the Bible a lot easier to understand.

I talked into a microphone, it stole my soul

Click the album art to go to the download page
or click here to get it on iTunes!

Fall of Autumn presents Brandon Wetherbee reading a piece entitled "The Ultimate Warrior was the Catalyst for the September 11th Attacks." Brandon has written over twenty issues of his perzine, Foul, contributed to Sanitary & Ship and is the co-editor of the Chicago publication, The Machine.

Everybody's fancy

We're running a little behind on issue 2. Everything will be done by Friday, but instead of taking advantage of the week off, nothing was accomplished. I've added notes to my stories but haven't put anything substantial on the screen.

Sidenote: I think there are werewolf noises on the Beck song "Nausea". There's definitly something.

Friday night was all about the corner of Lincoln and Irving. Kelsey used to live in Lincoln Square but we haven't spent an entire night in the neighborhood for a long time. We ate at Orange Garden, saw Paul's band at Silvie's (more about that later this week on the Machine site), drank a few beers with Mike at a decent bar that had $1 pints but an identity crisis (sports vs. dive vs. yuppie) and watched "Da Ali G" show at Mike's place about a bathroom fixture store.

That last paragraph is proof positive that I'm much too out-of-touch with whatever is cool. The following will also prove my case.

I spent Saturday with my mother in Indian Head Park. The visit wasn't nearly as depressing as it could have been. Her overall demeanor was better than usual and I was calm after finishing a Mr. Rogers book.

The evening was spent at the Brain, manning the door. I still smell like smoke. It was also the first night there in months that I didn't write a word. That's not a good sign.

I spent more than 75% of the day in bed (if you count a futon mattress on a floor a bed). I consumed fried food like a real man. I napped from 10-11pm like a real man. I'm up at 2:54am like a real man.

While updating the Machine myspace page I came across an ad that looked like a possible DJ opportunity. It was actually for a porn star signing in LA. The porn star is in works similiar to SuicideGirls, if SuicideGirls did actual porn. I did some more research and the correlation between major and indie porn isn't much different than major and indie music labels. I'm trying to find a Chicago spin on this thing because it's one of the most interesting media related stories I've stumbled across.

I'm spinning at least five times in February. I'd like to make increase that number to seven. I'm not sure why. I fucking hate this time of year.

Witty?

This should be more witty. I'm not so witty. I'm full of yogurt and orange juice at 3:01am.

Juicy Juice

Issue 2 is mostly written. A piece on Rogers Park by Eric Lab Rat. A column about the CTA by Emerson Dameron. A interview conducted by Arvo. Kelsey and I are working on pieces about the Loop preacher, the closing of the downtown Carson's, a one-on-one with a dominatrix (I hope this one is taken out of context), maybe the Alley, maybe a Captain Chicago comment and maybe another creepy photo essay. All of this would be done if I didn't drink so much orange juice and soaked in so much Maury.

Lie detectors lie. That may or may not be a lie.

Still in the running

"America's Next Top Model" proves that the females that want to be models on the series are wonderful wastes of life. Almost as big of a waste as that last sentence.

Get a blank piece of paper.

Stare at it.

Think of someone that has let you down, made you angry, filled you with hate.

Cry.

Let it out.

Bitch.

Clever.

Kelsey and I spun at the Brain for New Year's Eve. We had a good time with Emerson and Nell. The first three songs of 2007 were
Mr. Rogers "It's Such A Good Feeling"
Chamilionaire "Ridin'"
AC/DC "Highway to Hell"
The song that got the biggest reaction was Sam Cooke's "Dancing the Night Away".


To celebrate the new year full of Mr. Rogers, Eric and Sarah came over and we had deep fried pizza, Chicago cookies (see The Machine for more on that), candy bars, Oreo's, Chex mix and more. Everyone won/lost.

We just finished uploading issue 1 of The Machine.

Done.

58. Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg "Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini"

It's for the kids, it's always for the kids

My friend Alan is putting together a zine about the holidays. Since I got too sentimental on the baseball issue of Foul I decided to rework "The Night Before Christmas".

Side note: Blame Aaron and Kate

Side note 2: I wrote a piece on R. Kelly in 2002. It pretty much said that people shouldn't fuck with the guy because he pisses on under aged girls. It was sarcastic. A guy in one of my classes happened to share the same lawyer as R. Kelly and the kid told me that if I didn't stop writing pieces like that I was going to get sued. Here's another piece like that.

An R. Kelly X-Mas
by Brandon Wetherbee

'Twas an R. Kelly Xmas, when all through the house,

Children were moaning and using their mouths;

The stocking were hung in the sauna with care,

In hopes that the Pied Piper would soon be there;

The children were soaked on skin so bare,

While visions of happy people two stepped in their heads,

And mama in her room and R being trapped,

Had just entered a closet for a long X-Mas rap,

When out in the sauna there arouse such a clatter,

R sprang from his studio to see what was the matter,

Away to the floor R danced like a flash,

Tore open the condoms and threw up the wrap.

TV glare on the breast of the new-teens chest,

Gave the lustre of pee to a hairless below,

When, what to R's wondering eyes should appear,

But a BET award, and eight tiny pre-teens,

With a little dead wife, so lifeless and sick,

R knew in a moment it was "the best" in Arabic.

More rapid than eagles his juices they came,

And she whistled, and shouted, and performed them by name;

"Now, anal! now, leapfrog! now, doggy and cross!

On, cowgirl! on T-square! on shocker and fisting!

To the top of the shaft! to the base of my balls!

Now suck away! suck away! suck away all!"

As R. Kelly penned "I Believe I Can Fly",

When he meets with an obstacle, he can touch the sky.

So down to McDonalds the Escalade he flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and the Pied Piper too.

And then, in a twinkling, kids moistened their kooch

The groanings and moanings of each little hooch.

As R drew in his pants, and was dancing around,

Out from the drive-thru R. Kelly came with a bound.

He was dressed in all white, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all stained with jism and gook;

A bundle of preteens he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a molester just opening his pants.

His eyes - how they leered! his dimples so eerie!

His chapters were like opera, his words hip-hopera!

His mouth was moist with thoughts of menstrual flow,

And the thoughts behind his mask a desire to know.

The stump of a story he sold on the street,

And the laughs he ignored was some kind of feat,

He had a thick skull and a fetish quite smelly,

That filmed, when he came on a female named Kelly.

He was happy and soulful, a man sure of himself,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of the tape I watched of him having sex with underage girls and peeing on them, on the shelf;

A tinkle in their eyes and a twist on his bed,

Soon gave me to know this man's not right in the head;

He sang not a word, but went straight to his quirk,

And filled all the holes; then turned and he jerked,

And spreading his love inside of her nose,

And giving a nod, up the vagina he rose;

He sprang to his sauna, to his teen gave a whistle,

And away it flew down her down her throat like a missile.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he penetrated like a knife,

"An R. Kelly X-Mas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Mother fucker

57. Ross Macdonald "The Chill"

As honorable as Trump

I'm going to win the next Miss USA and blow every strip club owner from Maine to California because it's the American way. I'll also do body shots with every bartender because everyone could use a shot.

I'm going to be interviewed on "Extra" and talk about how I could have gave up and I thought about giving up but I didn't give up because you shouldn't give up.

I'm going to join as many gangs as possible.

Cancer

I'm bored out of my mind. Always bored. BORED. bored.

It's never sunny. It's never that warm. It's ugly. There isn't green anything. Damn.

56. James M. Cain "The Postman Always Rings Twice"

Eric and I had a great time at 3am. We went to the Second City 24-hour benefit thing and saw Shellac on the ETC. stage. We were in the first row, in front of the kick drum. I can't speak for Eric but my hearing was damaged in a good way.

Amy got me the Black Sabbath, Ozzy only years, box set for my birthday. I've wanted this thing since it came out and I'm glad I didn't have to shell out $100 for it.

That should be enough name dropping for a while.

Bored and broke. I'm an asshole to boot.

Check out The Machine site if you can and give me some feedback. I don't know how to fix the front page but I added events and fixed up a few images and information. That information is boring.

I'm siding with a man named Warrior

The Ultimate Warrior was my favorite wrestler after Jake the Snake Roberts and before The Undertaker. He was not certifiably insane, but definitly not a "normal" wrestler. He quit the WWF over money issues, legally changed his name to Warrior to protect his merchandising propects and has had conflicts with pretty much everyone he's worked with. Regardless, I am agreeing with Warrior.

In April of 2005 Warrior gave a lecture sponsored by campus Republicans at the University of Connecticut. The reading was supposed to be no different than the other speaking engagements he had done. The Tent Group, a left-leaning campus group made sure their presence was known. The Warrior is a politically incorrect right wing conservative. Forty-five minutes into the lecture the Warrior says "queering doesn't make the world work". This elicited a not-so positive reaction from the Tent Group. (The Warrior never has come out and said that homosexuality is "wrong," he has said that the statement is in reference to the world's population)

Though I don't agree with most of the Warriors beliefs, I found myself rooting for the guy when watching the clip on YouTube. It's difficult to have any sympathy for a democratic group at the University of Connecticut, especially when they're all white.

After the event the Campus Republicans apologized for having the Warrior speak at the event the Warrior replied and said the Republicans have no backbone and that the campus group smelled like "patchouli oil and burnt flag".

I love the Warrior. I want him to go on a speaking tour with Monique. They would always smell like flowers and piss off everyone. Then the Warrior would Warrior Splash anyone that got out of control and Monique would let all the males fuck the fat between her arm and side.

I'm not reading enough

55. Norbert Blei "Chi Town"
54. some ghost stories book for 4th graders

Kill 'em all

53. Dashiell Hammett "Red Harvest"

It may rain in the neighborhood but that's ok

My good friend Daniel Knox and I are both fans of Mr. Rogers. If all goes as planned we're going to have a celebration of Mr. Rogers life on Febuary 27 2007, the four year anniversary of his passing away. While doing research on Fred Rogers I began listening to an interview he did on The Diane Rehm Show in 2002.

Diane Rehm is a slow talker, similiar to Mr. Rogers. Her voice is fragile and sounds even weaker when filtered through RealPlayer. The host and her guest together is an odd pairing. Imagine an ordinary interview on WBEZ played at half-speed. Anyways, Mr. Rogers is an excellent guest. Mrs. Rehm asks her guest about his characters in the Land of Make Believe and Mr. Rogers presents some of them. The second half of the show is for calls. No one calls with a question. Mother after mother give accounts of how Mr. Rogers has helped them raise their children. The second caller had me in tears.

I used to ridicule my mother because of her love for Mr. Rogers. At 10 years old I didn't want to hear some old guy sing songs. At 23 I want to hear some old guy sing songs.

Things don't seem so bad with Mr. Rogers. He never shied away from difficult issues. Anger was a common theme on his show and there were multiple special episodes that dealt with death, divorce, war, murder and more. It's all going to be ok and if Mr. Rogers believed it, I'll believe it too.

I'm 14

Kill Hannah is on 'JBTV'. They're talking about the Smashing Pumpkins. The only difference between 2006 and 1996 is I'm a hell of a lot heavier and know about a few more bands.

I (kind of) reached the goal

52. Jake Austen "TV-a-Go-Go: Rock on TV from American Bandstand to American Idol"

Ladytron

I spent a few hours making a back-up playlist for the fashion show. When I opened said list while setting up sound equipment I erased my work with one Chaka Kahn song. That kind of sums up the fashion show. Kelsey, Eric and I got to play music for about 15-minutes while dealing with MCing an event we knew nothing about.

I stayed up til 6am on accident. I'm afraid of writing anything too exciting or downright depressing in this space in case one of my students finds this nook of the Internet. Stinkin' kids, never letting me ruin amusement parks.

I'm convinced that art is not all around us nor is revolution. One would be hard pressed after traveling the globe to find either. Than again, I haven't seen the Lake up close in over a year and I live less than a mile away so all that I really know is that I'm full of shit.

He IS the father.

I am an accomplished author that will influence generations to come

Eight copies of issue 17 of Foul were sold at Chicago Comics. I got $6 for my writings. I bought a sweater with my earnings. Suck my dick John Grisham.

World News Now delivers your morning papers, or: the male anchor is a fucking dick

I don't want to get involved with the virtual world phenomenon. I'm about to pull myself out of Facebook and I've only been on the site for a few weeks. I'm regretting ever getting an email address. It's hard to want to move forward with technology when I have health problems that were solved a hundred of years ago. I have the equivalent of mouth scurvey and it's been with me for the last four apartments.

My time has been filled with relatively creative things that will pay the bills, an oddity. One bedroom has no heat and one is much too warm. It's a good feeling to be not on fire.

My schedule allows for daily "Maury" viewings and I'm taking advantage of the luxury. I am 500% sure that he is the father.

The Idiot

Kim Gordon, circa now, looks a lot like Iggy Pop, circa now. Thurston Moore is kinda married to his idol.

Flashing lights

Three guys are installing a railing on the porch. Only one is wearing any sort of eye wear. It looks like the Fourth of July through my windows. Those guys have balls.

My record player has never sounded louder. Little Walter singing sounds like Little Walter screaming. It's great.

The cologne I obtained at Lollapalooza is leaking or has leaked or something and now the box I'm going to reside in smells like 7th grade. Luckily, I enjoyed 7th grade.

Bad in an unfunny way

51. "Teen Angst: A Celebration of Really Bad Poetry" edited by Sara Bynoe

That guy in the commercial

50. John Hodgman "The Areas of My Expertise"

Lemonheads

49. Joe Meno "Hairstyles of the Damned"

Chop chop chop

48. Arthur Herzog "The Woodchipper Murder"

Zineeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy

Thanks to Kelsey I have about 30 copies of Issue 18 of Foul. I have to transcribe four interviews for Issue 19 and my goal for this evening is to have the writing part of Issue 20 done by the time I pass out. Unlike the first 10 issues of Foul I'm not listening to Bad Religion. It would seem odd to hear anything political while writing about the time I was crucified in church.

The heat got turned on. Now it's too hot. My cheeks are red.

I'm still trying to understand Dane Cook's popularity.

Her distance made me appreciate

The Nightmare Before Christmas is getting a re-release as a 3-D film later this month. To cash in Disney is re-releasing the soundtrack with covers by Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple, Fall Out Boy, She Wants Revenge and Panic! At the Disco. Four of these tunes are on the Nightmare myspace page. I've been listening to Fiona Apple's version of "Sally's Song" for almost an hour.

The song plays an integral part in the movie but it never stood out. With Jon Brion's production (I think he produced it) and extremely melancholy lyrics the ditty sounds like it could only be from Apple.

God damn, this is a great song.

A van is on fire in Hickory Hills and the children upstairs are running.

I tend to agree with the man

47. Jim Derogatis "Milk It!: Collected Musings on the Alternative Music Explosion of the '90s"

Saturday Night

46. Nelson Algren "Chicago: City on The Make"

45. Al Franken "Oh, the Things I Know! A Guide to Success, or, Failing That, Happiness"

Harvard

"The Simpsons" shouldn't make fun of hip-hop. The one's with The Who and Elvis Costello work because like The Who and Elvis Costello, "The Simpsons" writers are rich, old and white.

Post job interview/burrito

The cat is aggressively liking himself to Queens of the Stone Age "The Sky Is Fallin'".

Amazon.com is wonderful

44. Adam Langer "The Washington Story"

I was happy to find out Langer wrote a sequel to his debut "Crossing California". I enjoyed both books and hope the author pounds out a third novel.

I'm watching "Oprah".

DJ Set - The Continental - September 29 2006 - 9:15pm-3:45am

Request

Steve Burns "Mighty Little Man"
Carpenters "Superstar"
PJ Harvey "Big Exit"
White Stripes "Apple Blossom"
Sam Cooke with the Soul Stirrers "Jesus Wash Away My Troubles"

Dandy Warhols "Hells Bells"
Iggy Pop "Tiny Girls"
Rogue Wave "Publish My Love"
Bobby Vinton "Blue Velvet"
Neko Case "That Teenage Feeling"

The Beach Boys "Don't Worry Baby"
Bjork "Hunter"
...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - "Ode to Isis/Will You Smile Again?"
The Beatles "Rain"
Local H "Birth, School, Work, Death"

Sonic Youth "100%"
Foo Fighters "The Colour and the Shape"
Angels "My Boyfriend's Back"
Horrorpops "It's Been So Long"
New Black "Angel With Cockroach Wings"

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds "Deanna"
Buddy Holly "Peggy Sue"
The Hollies "Carrie Ann"
Queens of the Stone Age "Little Sister"
The Ramones "Sheena is a Punk Rocker"

The Shirells "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow"
Detroit Cobras "Slippin' Around"
The Hives "Two-timing Touch and Broken Bones"
MC5 "Kick Out the Jams"
Against Me! "Cliche Guevara"

Reptoids "FU"
Twin Wrecks the Memory "Alcohol and Rock and Roll"
Bad Religion "American Jesus"
The Clash "I'm So Bored with the U.S.A."
The Bobby Fuller Four "I Fought the Law"

Gene Vincent "Be-Bop-A-Lu-La"
Chuck Berry "Brown-eyed Handsome Man"
Fats Domino "I'm Ready"
Dick Dale & His Del-Tones "Misirlou"
Bo Diddley "Who Do You Love?"

Screamin' Jay Hawkins "I Put A Spell On You"
James Brown "Soul Power, Pt. 1"
The Isley Brothers "It's Your Thing"
Curtis Mayfield "Pusherman"
Ladytron "Destroy Everything"

Miss Kitten "Requiem for a Hit"
Deftones "Feiticeira"
hewhocorrupts "She's a Fire Engine"
Motley Crue "Girls, Girls, Girls"
Marilyn Manson "The Dope Show"

Howlin' Wolf "Spoonful"
Nine Inch Nails "The Perfect Drug"
Donna Summer "I Feel Love"
Queen "Fat Bottom Girls"
Bill Cosby "I Got A Woman"

Spinal Tap "Big Bottom"
Spank Rock "Put That Pussy On Me"
Heart "Magic Man"
Mission of Burma "That's When I Reach For My Revolver"
Joy Division "Love Will Tear Us Apart"

The Breeders "Cannonball"
Girls Against Boys "Super-Fire"
My Bloody Valentine "Only Shallow"
Sally "Do You"
Clinic "Walking With Thee"

TV On the Radio "The Wrong Way"
Sleater-Kinney "The Fox"
Gnarls Barkley "Smiley Faces"
Franz Ferdinand "The Fallen"
Gang of Four "Outside The Trains Don't Run On Time"

Interpol "Slow Hands"
The Impressions "Check Out Your Mind"
Bo Diddley, Muddy Waters and Little Walter "Who Do You Love"
David Bowie "Golden Years"
The Kinks "I Am Free"

Urge Overkill "Goodbye to Guyville"
Cheap Trick "Surrender"
The Cars "Shake It Up"
Joy Division "Transmission"
Chamillionaire "Ridin'"

Sage Francis "Sea Lion"
Justin Timberlake "Sexy Back"
"No hip-hop."
Blondie "Rapture"
Bjork "Army of Me"
Gogol Bordello "Immigrant Punk"

Man Man "Van Helsing Boombox"
Built To Spill "Center Of The Universe"
William Shatner "Common People"
Pixies "Break My Body"
Stevie Wonder "Living For The City"

Motohead "Ace of Spades"
Black Sabbath "Sweat Leaf"
Burning Brides "Arctic Snow"
The Smashing Pumpkins "Dross"
Gorillaz "M1A1"

AC/DC "Highway To Hell"
Eagles of Death Metal "I Want You So Hard (Bad Boys News)"
Ministry "Everyday Is Halloween"
The Monkees "Porpoise Song"
Dinosaur Jr. "Feel The Pain"

Blood on the Wall "Mae Abiline"
Bobby Conn "Never Get Ahead"
The B52's "Party Out of Bounds"
Art Brut "Formed A Band"
Elvis Costello "Radio, Radio"

Dressy Bessy "Electrified"
Michael Jackson "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"
Mates of State - 3 team boo
The Go! Team "Bottle Rocket"
Beastie Boys "Sabotage"
LAST CALL
Jimi Hendrix Experience "Crosstown Traffic"
Go-Go's "We Got the Beat"

If I hit my goal I'll take this one out

43. Max Estes "Hello, Again"

She laughed too

A woman whose husband was convicted as a pedophile said the funniest thing I'll hear all day. When Oprah asked her what she told her children, she said, "Your dad is a pedophile." When Oprah asked her what her children said, the woman replied, "My little 8-year old girl said, 'Boy, I sure am glad I'm not a boy.'"

BAM!

The Grand Prize Game

On mornings when I wake up too early and can't go back to sleep I wish I could trade in the internet for the Bozo the Clown show. There's nothing on television that I want to watch so I end up going to and from local news shows and "Saved By The Bell".

I watched the Bozo show every morning in grade school. When WGN decided to do a morning news show and just give Bozo Sunday mornings I didn't care, I was in 6th grade or something. Only at the end of high school, when the fledging Sunday show was taken off the air that I remembered that Bozo was exactly what I should have been watching every weekday morning for the rest of my life.

Here are my television options right now.
2 "The Early Show"
5 "The Today Show"
7 "Good Morning America"
9 "WGN Morning News"
11 "Postcards from Buster"
20 documentary from the early 80s about math and San Francisco
23 "Laverne and Shirley"
26 "One on One"
32 "Fox Thing In The Morning"
38 some Christian show
44 "Cada Día con María Antonieta"
50 "Cheers"

These are not good options. If you watch 10 minutes of the morning news you've seen everything. I don't want to watch two sitcoms with beer in it, a boring documentary, propaganda, a language I don't understand or a children's cartoon. So, I'm on the internet. I've watched the new Deftones video (not good), looked up who played Chicago's Bozo (Joey D'Auria is my favorite) and found out when the Aurora bound train leaves Union Station. If Bozo was on I wouldn't have this problem.

Bozo seemed stuck somewhere between the mid-60s and 70s. The skits were recycled, the cartoons were way behind the most popular of the day and the clowns didn't seem to give a fuck whether or not they were funny. None of that mattered. I loved the show. I watched it way behind the target age. The news and current cartoons didn't hold my interest. Staring at a 40-something dressed in an orange wig calmed the soul.

I want to watch Mr. Rogers at 7am and Bozo from 7:30 to 9am.

The Marvin Gaye one was the worst book this year thus far

42. Michael Eric Dyson "Mercy, Mercy Me: The Art, Loves and Demons of Marvin Gaye"
41. Ben Hecht "A Thousand and One Afternoons in Chicago"

His father was a goat-herder

40. Barack Obama "Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance"

He wrote a song featured in "High Fidelity"

39. Bob Dylan "Chronicles: Volume One"

On Pace

38. Alan Brown "Literary Landmarks of Chicago"

Vroom-Vroom

Max and I went to the Dutch version of an American sports bar. They did not have the Bears game. That's ok. The Bears won.

There are signs all over Amsterdam warning people that there are pickpockets. The cartoon pickpockets look like they're stealing engines.

I'm going to steal an engine.

Two books read in Europe about Chicago (kinda)

37. Dan Aykroyd and Ben Manilla "Elwood's Blues: Interviews with the Blues Legends and Stars"

Flight

36. Mike Royko "Boss"

This one barely qualifies

35. Jeffrey Brown "Miniature Sulk"

Warm, Feverish Midwestern Season

This week's "Anti-Social" Reader column is about Jessica Hopper's disappointing summer. Don't most summers seem disappointing, at least in the first few weeks of the fall?

My summer was disappointing. It got worse and the months progressed. Oh well. Once again, I bet most people feel this way. By the time August rolled around there were no more adventures. Nothing dangerous, exotic or exciting. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't great. It was the month that established a routine. Wake up, look for work, watch network television, consider what to eat, not eat, allude to exciting possibilities, decide to not do much of anything, give up on the day around 7, begin reading at 7:15...It's not a particularly bad day, but it's far from life changing. I didn't take any walks or ride a bike or skateboard. Going outside means spending money and that was not part of the agenda.

As soon as I begin a steady job I'll miss not doing anything (not that I'll be doing anything at the job, but it'll be outside a 8x12 foot room).

It's funny when Alex Trebeck gets excited. It's sad that I've seen this happen many times in the past few weeks.

My high school's five-year reunion was last Saturday. I did not attend. I was working. If I was not working I would not have attended. Since I first learned about reunions I decided that I would only attend if I had a better life than at least half of the people there. Unemployed meant not going. Running a successful business meant going. But why? If you only see these people every five or ten years who cares what they think? I think I'll go to the ten-year reunion with another guy and tell everyone that I was in the army but my love of my fellow man at arms led me astray. Then I'll drink a lot of booze.

Maybe if I went on more adventues I wouldn't be thinking about my high school reunion while watching Jeopardy!.

We Could Drag It Out, But That's For Other Bands To Do

"Ask Me Anything" by The Strokes is the song that made me re-examine my dislike of the band. The seventh song on the band's third release "First Impressions of Earth," it's three minutes and twelve seconds of Julian Casablancas singing about how he's got "nothing to say" over a Mellatron (I'm not exactly sure what this is or what it looks like but I do know it's kind of like a piano and it would sound cool providing the score to a 1960s sci-fi b-film.). There's no guitar, bass or drums. The lyrics are full of self-loathing but performed in a way that doesn't seem juvenile or, well, self-loathing.

"Ask Me Anything" is possibly the best song on any album that has been in the American Top 10 of 2006. The problem with the song is the placement on the album. "First Impressions of Earth" has 14 songs. "Ask" comes in the middle. Once heard, it's difficult to enjoy the rest of the album. I understand why the band didn't want to hide the song last, but it belongs last. The first song and the last song on an album can and sometimes should sound nothing like the rest of the album. In this case, it wouldn't have worked perfectly but it wouldn't make other songs sound like a let down, which brings us to our next point...The Stokes let me down again.

I hated The Strokes when they first came out because of their background. The members come from New York City, well-to-do families and connections with models. I hated the leather jackets and Velvet Underground comparisons. It took almost five years for me to get past this (I realize that this is my problem, not the bands, but please don't stop reading). I finally liked their third album. Then they recorded a Marvin Gaye's "Mercy Mercy Me" for a B-side with Eddie Vedder and Josh Homme. I love Pearl Jam, QOTSA, EODA and Marvin Gaye. I don't love when they come together.

Disappointment and satisfaction. These are words that shouldn't describe one's love or disdain for pop music. Using said words make me seem unstable. I should've spelled unstable incorrectly, it might have been funny.

I love "Ask Me Anything".

Two for Two

34. Alex Robinson "Tricked"
33. Don DeLillo "White Noise"

Suspend Reality For As Long As You Possibly Can

"Flavor of Love," specifically season two, is the best fairy tale the 21st century has yet to produce. A forgotten court-jester re-enters the people conscious 15-years after his prime. After one run of joyful series featuring other familiar faces, the American public was granted a spin-off series co-staring a former vixen/current wreck. That spin-off was unleashed on us almost two years ago and the public is still in love with Public Enemy's light side.

The highest-rated show in the history of VH1 is a "reality" show similiar to "The Bachelor". Instead of roses, the contestants that advance get a giant clock. Flavor gives the holes* fun and random tasks, like cleaning up Warren G's mansion and dancing. The dancing sure was fun. Everyone lives in a mansion.

How is this a fairy tale?

1. Outside of Flav's pad is a dinosaur. With a giant clock around it's neck. And it's wearing a crown. And dark sunglasses.

2. The holes wear dresses in most scenes. Most holes wear at least two dresses per episode. Most females in fairy tales wear dresses. I'm not sure if this is true, but it sure sounds like it is. Whenever I picture fairy tales in my head there's at least one person in a dress.

3. Not only does the dinosaur wear a crown but Flav has headgear as well. A viking helmet. There's got to be a viking in some fairy tale.

4. The entire series is symbolism. For what, I'm not exactly sure. World peace? No, that's not it. That's not even funny. I apologize. The symbolism is about being as pure as one possibly can. In other words, it's supposed to be about being real. I've heard the word 'real' used at least 10 times in each episode. That's fucking real, G. Real.

5. Monsters are everywhere. Among the holes are monsters with secrets. Secrets like porn, accents, prison and singing.

6. Three gay men give commentary during commercial breaks. Gay men involved in hip-hop is mythical, something only believable in a fairy tale.

7. Names like Phil and Mary aren't used. Instead there are Krazy, Bootz and other words spelled incorrectly.

8. A hole took a shit on the floor. The hole was not a toddler. The book "Everybody Poops" is non-fiction, but it is kind of like a faity-tale. So, I'm counting the shit on the floor.

9. A hole that got kicked off within the first 20-minutes of the first episode threatened to beat another hole's ass in the name of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I look at the Bible like a big fairy tale. Therefore, this one comes in strong at number nine.

10. Balconies. There are many shots on balconies. The kind of balconies that people climb down from in fairy tales. They usually climb down on fake hair, which brings us to...

11. Weaves.

There you have it, 11 reasons why "Flavor of Love" is the best fairy tale out there, at least until "Strange Love 2" comes out.

*The people on the show are not women. They're barely people. They are holes. Flav loves his holes. We all love Flav's holes. In fact, you can find most of the hole's hole's on the same interweb that you're on right now! It's both fun and haunting!

Artie Duncan and Co. got jobs through connections, if you are one of these connections please contact me

It's 4:38am. The morning after Labor Day. I just opened my first beer of the day/night. Kids around the city will be waking up for their first day of school in a few hours. I will, hopefully, be passed out. Until then I'm going to waste my time looking at the Men Seeking Men section of Craig's List.

I'm not sure where Kelsey is. Since I threatened to make her laptop wallpaper random cock she left the room. The dining room light is on and our new roommate is sleeping in her room for the first time. Nevermind. I hear Kelsey making some noise in the kitchen. The safe bet is on toast...I was correct.

---

When a male posts a photo of himself on Craig's List of just his ass, it's a safe bet to assume he's a bottom. Use some common sense.

Rather than count, Kelsey is pasting all of the posts for today (9/5, midnight to 4:43) in a Word document. 55 people have posted. Glory hole.

---

My chest feels like 1,000 lbs.

---

The morning news has begun. We won. Kids are suckers.

---

Spuds MacKenzie is now my wallpaper. She died in 1993 in North Riverside. Free Willy is dead too.

I found a photo of Spuds skiiing.

---

It's difficult to sit by and watch kids go to school when my mom has no school to go to. It's difficult not to cut someone's brakes. It's difficult but it wouldn't help. Calling schools with incorrect listings don't seem to help either. The older I get the more obvious it becomes, it's all who you know/blow.

---

People that are against immigrants probably own(ed) brown people. It's just a hunch.

---

Daisy Fuentes hasn't done much of anything in almost 10-years except sell workout tapes on informercials. I'd like to see Daisy Fuentes on the Men Seeking Men page.

---

Yeah and he's tradin' in his Chevy for a Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac
You oughta know by now (You oughta know by now)

---

Chuck Berry wrote a song that mentioned school. He did not write songs that mentioned watching women pee. If he did, he disguised his lyrics.

---

When scouring the seeking section of Craig's List it's heartbreaking to read a post with a photo that doesn't feature a lewd photo.

It Tastes Better

I read #32 in one day. It made me hungry for chicken. My pants smelled like Popeye's this morning.

32. Maurice Possley "The Brown's Chicken Massacre"
31. James Kochalka "American Elf: James Kochalka's Collected Sketchbook Diaries"

Blah Blah Blah, Lawyer

30. John Updike "Three Trips"
29. Luis J. Rodriguez "Always Running: La Vida Loca: Gang Days in L.A."
28. Henry Rollins "Roomanitarian"
27. Chris Ware "Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth"
26. Al Burian "Burn Collector"

I think that's it.

Reverse schedule

I was up until 9am working on a video. Here it is.

Fetor "Honest Abe"

The almost half-way point

25. "Chicago Noir" edited by Neal Pollack

It doesn't appear that I'll read 52 books in 2006.

Doug/The Machine Media will be hosting a few bashes in the next few weeks. I'm excited. I'm getting new music to dance to. God damn.

My Top 6 Lollapallooza Acts

1. eels
2. The Raconteurs
3. The Flaming Lips
4. Gnarls Barkley
5. Smoking Popes
6. Sleater-Kinney

24. Nick Hornby "The Polysyllabic Spree"
23. Nick Hornby "Songbook"
22. Brian Costello "The Enchanters vs. Sprawlberg Springs"

Lollapalooza

I'm in the press tent. There is no more beer.

I wrote this in Jan 2006

I used to throw all-day punk shows in church basements. They were benefit shows for charities I felt deserved the money. This way I got the bands to play for free. Since the shows were for charity, I didn't book bands based on my taste. If I did, the show would've lasted for an hour. Instead, they lasted for 10.

The first show was in December 2001. I decided to call it Music With Meaning. I held the event at the Ernest Hemingway Museum in Oak Park. The place had an auditorium and it seemed like a good location for a show. After seeing the space one time (I think in late October or early November, I don't really remember), I decided that it would be fine for a show. I contacted friends bands to play the show and everyone said yes. Too bad I didn't know anyone that well-known. It cost $750 to rent the venue from noon until ten p.m. I thought that since I looked at the venue, told them I wanted it and brought the contract with me to the show that everything would be fine. I was wrong. I should have made a courtesy call telling them I wanted the place. Whatever. It didn't matter. Ten bands played (I think it was ten), my mom collected money at the door ($6 or $5 with 2 cans of food), my best friend and former stage manager for our high school theater company ran backstage, old high school associates ran sound (one guy rented a 24-track sound board and made all the bands play direct, this was not my idea and I have yet to actually pay the man for his services or his costs for the board) and to make some extra money, I sold soda and pizza. The first Music with Meaning barely broke even. The charity did not see any money, but I was able to donate over 100 pounds of food to the local food pantry.

I learned a lot from that first benefit show. Book bands that are somewhat popular, don't let friends bands of friends bands play, keep overhead costs low, let bands perform with their own amps, two stages are better than one, don't pay for space, make flyers at Office Depot or Office Max and make sure everyone knows that they're playing for charity.

The second Music With Meaning was in the summer of 2002. This time I had six shows. Three in Chicago, two in Oak Park and one in Aurora. Two of them were raves. Well, attempts at a rave. Those failed. Bad idea. Really bad idea. One in Oak Park was in a church basement. That did not fail. The show began at noon. It ended just before 10 p.m. With one P.A., we ran one stage while another set up. There was not a lapse in music. The show was able to recoup expenses from the two failed raves. The majority of the bands that played were of the pop punk persuasion. I did not enjoy most of the bands. That did not matter. They helped me and I helped them. Good times were had by most. The 17-year olds that came to the show left reeking of sweat and spilled pop. I left with a limp and chaffed legs. Though I bitched about the shows for weeks leading up them, I throughoughly enjoyed myself. Each successful show gave me satisfaction in knowing that I could do something that wouldn't fail. This feeling lasted for at least another year. Music With Meaning 3 was four shows in December of 2002 and Music with Meaning 4 was eight or ten shows in June of 2003 and featured zinester friends of mine. MWM5 was a 50-hour radio marathon and four or six shows in June of 2004 and the last one was just one show in July of 2005.

Every time I feel like I'm too old to throw shows I become nostalgic for the first basement shows. I stare at the Intonation poster on my wall and feel depressed that I could never achieve as much as it has. I watch shitty movies at 4 a.m. so I don't think of this stuff. I compile lists like these, try to remember all the bands that have played all the shows. I can't remember all the bars, clubs, basements, stores and houses that let me host the shows, let alone all the bands that made noise. I know that it doesn't really matter. I'll never be able to recreate the first show and I know that it's not something I really want to do. The first show was a failure. The first basement show only bailed me out from the other failed shows in the second set. I've cut down on the shows but I've made more money with just one show than with ten in basements. I've also cut down on everyone that helped me, bands and exposure. I no longer try to get press and I no longer book bands that I hate just to bring people in. I guess this is a good thing. I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe if I only had bands I loathed things would be a little more exciting.

I was excited when a band sent me their demo so they could play Music With Meaning. Now, I'll listen to the first 30-seconds and if it sucks, sell it. I don't care about supporting a scene. I don't care about helping bands. No one has helped my band, so fuck all of them. What a wonderful, typical outlook.

I shouldn't even try to throw an all-ages show. I'm 23. It's just too creepy.

---

After spending the last hour searching for old fliers, I've decided to either try and top myself or just give up. 20 shows in 30 days or nothing. Do it in June. Something that includes all types of music, all types of writing, multiple charities, multiple forms of media coverage and more. Fuck it. Why not. I'll start planning now. It'll take a while to figure out what to do.

Daytime talk shows and judge shows fill me with rage. Riding the el during rush hour fills me with rage. I'm 13-years old all over again.

It's all who you know

The last case on today's "Judge Judy" was about a 7-year old boy who accidentally hit a neighbors car because his bike went out of control. The plaintiff was suing for $370 to fix the scratch on her bumper. The plaintiff won. She's a fucking cunt. I believe in the mob when I hear stories like this one.

Mob justice would've fixed this dilemma without going to court. If the neighbor did the right thing and went to make sure the kid was ok, the child's mother would have been grateful and offered to fix the scratch. The car owner also shouldn't care about a scratch on her bumper because IT'S A GOD DAMN BUMPER. Bumpers exist for people to scratch up.

If the child's family was connected to the mob in some way the woman who sued would be dead. That's fine by me. She sued a 7-year old.

If anyone knows how I could obtain a mob connection (I'm good with office work, I could copy edit forged documents and I have no problems giving friends jobs) please let me know. They would make sure I get this hole in my tooth fixed.

Little rascals

The Music with Meaning 7 thank you party has come and gone. I have extra meat and a cut on my hand.

From July 1 to July 19 I'll have "performed" (DJing, readings, music) at least 7 times. It's sort of a wind down from a month of events. I'm not handling it that well. Instead of going out every night I'm going out one night and getting drunk and then staying in the next night.

The 3 Stooges episode has Nazi soldiers. Curly has a photo of Hitler on his behind and the soldies say "Heil Hitler" every time he turns around. The short ends with a US Military bulldog biting Curly's ass.

I'm the local guy for this month's Perpetual Motion Roadshow. It's Saturday at Quimby's. I'm trying to finish the baseball issue of Foul. Maybe I'll find my 200+ Kirby Puckett cards today. The only baseball cards of mine that weren't stolen are of a dead, one-eyed rapist.

While working a White Sox game I heard a Smith's song over the PA. The 5 guys in bar hats and polo shirts were swaying to the beat. They were also making homophobic comments.

I finally finished a book.

21. Douglas Adams "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Music with Meaning Night 30 Recap

The last night of Music with Meaning 7 was the most like MWM 1-4. It was in two classrooms (sort of like the shows at Pilgrim Church), 8 bands played (like the shows at the Hemingway Musuem, Pilgrim, St. Giles), I ran the door and sound with friends and, just like Music with Meaning 1, Max and Mike took money at the door at one point.

Thanks to Hewhocorrupts Inc. for booking the bands. I'm done for a while.

Music with Meaning Night 29 Recap

Betty's was a suprisingly good show. Over 60 people came to see The Pumps, Canasta, All City Affairs and the Fake Fictions. Canasta played beautiful music. All City Affairs danced to a backing track.

I don't remember much.

Music with Meaning Night 28 Recap

Empty Bottle night 2.

Charlie Deets played his first (and last?) electronic set. It included a film for each song, a light show and crutches. It was the only time I've been at the Bottle and no one was in the pool room. No one. Everyone there watched the set in silence. It was fucking weird. Like Radiohead or some other critically acclaimed shit that no one can rip apart.

Fetor had to follow Charlie Deets. I'm in Fetor. It would have been hard to follow Mr. Deets but I was drunk and I'm an asshole so it was pretty easy. We played 9 songs in under 30 minutes. It was loud. I called people assholes and other mean things. We fucking ruled.

Penthouse Sweets ended the night with their bar band in a good way music. I would have liked to see more than the three songs I caught but I was pretty deaf from all that screaming.

Music with Meaning Night 27 Recap

Empty Bottle night 1.

This Is Cinema has a 17-year old singer. The boy has a deeper voice than Nick Cave and will probably have more illegal sex than you can imagine. Wrap it up kid, wrap it up.

Beard was good. They're always good. You have to be good when it's just drums, bass, violin and voice.

CrushKillDestroy were loud and gracious.

The night was long. I was at the Empty Bottle about 8 hours. I probably shouldn't have eaten Polish buffet before the show.

Music with Meaning Night 26 Recap

I had to pause before writing this entry. I forgot what MWM event was on Monday. Monday was only three days ago. I'm that tired.

Now I remember. The event was at Phyliss' Musical Inn. The first MWM show at that bar. About 40 people came to the tiny bar and everyone seemed to dig everyone. The two touring bands, ari.ari. and Man At Arms were fucking loud. I missed most of Man At Arms because I was deaf from Fetor practice, but ari.ari. blew me away. Their singer/screamer is one of the most polite women off stage but while playing with her band, she writhed on the floor, screamed 6-inches from the crowd and jumped. She jumped on amps, chairs, people, the bar. It was great. The Notes and Scratches had more in common with Neutral Milk Hotel than Iggy Pop but the 'crowd' didn't leave. Instead, everyone came closer and for a few minutes it seemed like Chicago could have a music community not based around one genre, radio station or club.

The Notes and Scratches closed with "The Rainbow Connection".

Music with Meaning Night 25 Recap

Oh, Liar's Club. You are the devil incarnate.

LMNOP played a set that drove Herb crazy that I loved. Camaro Rouge were way too fucking loud so I bought their album. The Countdown were great and made everyone want to fuck in uncomfortable places.

I bought a Countdown shirt. It says...
DRINK
FIGHT
FUCK

The Countdown should play divorce hearings.

Music with Meaning Night 24 Recap

Kelsey and I spun records at Delilah's after the Intonation Music Fest.

I shouldn't have drank 9 Sparks at Intonation.

We had bow out early.

Sorry.

Sparks are for 15-year old girls who yearn to fuck their older sister's football star boyfriend. I am not that girl.

Music with Meaning Night 23 Recap

Nine bands played over five hours. Dreamend was my favorite. I bought both their albums. They streamed "Night of the Living Dead". Their singer/guitarist wore a tuxedo. They are shoegazer/horror/electronic (I'm only using that word because they have samples, at least it sounds like they do).

Hooray for Dreamend.

Nine bands in five hours is too many.

Music with Meaning Night 22 Recap

Thanks to Jan from the Hungry Brain. Without her night 22 wouldn't have happened. After a debacle at the California Clipper (if you want to know the whole story ask me in person), Jan let us move to the Brain three hours before start-time.

Megan Stielstra read first and made me wish I used songs in my readings. Brent Kado read a poignent piece on the joys of riding the CTA. Jonathan Messinger got the bars attention when he compared himself to Michael Jackson. Andrew Huff presented a list of bands/books and bands/movies that only had me booing once. CT Ballentine read another excerpt from his novel and it was like poetry that doesn't suck. High Hawk played Americana music but was too loud. Their 'fans' were also really fucking loud.

Can't win'em all.

Music with Meaning Night 21 Recap

I had to miss the comedy because it was The Machine's first night spinning at the new 4am The Continental. Kelsey and I drank too much, spun two hours longer than originally booked for and got paid. It was sweet. 4am's rule. So does Herb from Liar's Club.

Music with Meaning Night 19 Recap

Quimby's was almost packed. JR Nelson did the best reading, which was a shock. I knew nothing about the man and he pleased the place. Amy Phillips read a piece that everyone there could relate (about becoming jaded in music), Brian Costello played air drums and Jessica Hopper was laughing. It was fun.

Amy and Brian spun records with us at Rodan after Quimby's. I was the fattest guy in the place. That's why I got really drunk and spun soul music.

Music with Meaning Night 18 Recap

I love Mannequin Men, Doug Travis and PAL.

The father's day show was one I was hoping wouldn't disappoint me. It did not. Every band played their excellent version of rock and roll. PAL sounds like a completely different band then they did three years ago. They've grown a lot and could be played on XRT. Doug Travis remains my second favorite live act in the city (HeWhoCorrupts is #1). Their guitarist CT got a hand-job from frontman Billy. Mannequin Men put all other 'garage' bands to shame.

I had a great time. I now own a Doug Travis EP, hat, hoodie, polo shirt and patch.

Music with Meaning Night 17 Recap

God damn work. I was not able to attend the Lincoln Square Lanes show. Kelsey told me it was fun. The Wanderers took a smoke break in front of propane tanks.

Music with Meaning Night 16 Recap

Nine bands in two classrooms. I was able to watch about 6 songs be performed. That has to be incorrect grammer.

Quasar Wut Wut played a great set of Americana/punk/folk/rock and roll music. The Gnomes had 10 kids dancing. Recent Photo reminded me of Yo La Tengo. Six more bands played.

These shows make me tired.

Music with Meaning Night 15 Recap

The halfway point was bittersweet. The Beat Kitchen was well-attended but not well-attended enough. Due to an extra late start (fuck you, Bayside) on a Thursday night, most of the people that came to see Sally couldn't hang around for the 1am start time.

Arks were great. So great I bought a t-shirt. It was awkward when their guitarist saw me at the Hungry Brain the next day wearing said shirt.

They used Danelectro guitars in a very good way.

Music with Meaning Night 14 Recap

Izom brought a lot of people to the Double Door. Metal.

I drank too much. I need to stop drinking so much.

I 'sang' with Twin Wrecks the Memory for a song. I did this because I had too much to drink.

Good show. The place was pretty full. I didn't need to go to Liar's Club and then eat Taco Bell.

Music with Meaning Night 13 Recap

Mike, the owner of Delilah's kept giving Eric and me whiskey. We drank so much whiskey. I almost pissed my pants. I fucking love spinning records at Delilah's.

At one point I did the dance the Blues Brothers do while performing "Gimme Some Lovin'" behind the bar.

I spent $2 on Adams' Family pinball. I suck at pinball.

The place was packed. Thanks for coming, world.

Music with Meaning Night 12 Recap

I am hip-hop. I know everything about the genre. I hate when people refer to it as culture. That goes for any music genre that calls itself culture. That's bullshit.

Bullet was great. Ya-B was great. Marflow pulled up all the MCs for freestyling. Rock and roll isn't like that. There's too much whining in rock and roll. If not enough people are in the crowd a rock band will put on a shitty show. Not these MCs. They didn't seem to care whether 50 or 500 people were in Abbey Pub.

I had a good time. I also ate wings.

Music with Meaning Night 11 Recap

A nice, laid back Sunday evening in Pilsen. Eric, Kelsey and I got to do an all-vinyl set and we weren't restricted to just Chicago music. The Skylark patrons seemed to dig everything we played. For some odd reason George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set on You" garned the biggest reaction. Who knew the dead, stabbed Beatle's pop work would be so danceable.

My one regret was not playing at Bach on Moog album.

Music with Meaning Night 10 Recap

I love Daniel Knox. He's one of the few performers that I'll still enjoy at 40, 50 or 60. He played another great set and this time had a guest theramin player. Marilyn Manson and Daniel Knox used theramins.

Ash in Pensacola is a band I've wanted to see for the last 6-months but never could. I'm glad they played. A stripped down set of just a guitarist and singer worked well in Martyrs.

The Thin Man ranged from alt-country, circus, folk and Americana roots rock. The group played an all-too short 45-minute set and a baby was there. She just turned a year old. The baby liked The Thin Man.

Great night. Shitty circumstances. God damn Rib Fest.

Music with Meaning Night 9 Recap

Friday night was the first of four shows in the basement of DePaul's McGaw Hall. 8 bands played in two classrooms. It was cheap.

The show had an odd feeling. Maybe it was the fluorescent lights or maybe it was because classes ended that day but the June 9 show felt like it already happened. The bands and the paying attendees seemed to want to be somewhere else. No one complained and most people seemed to have a good time, but something was missing. It was cold outside, sweaty basement shows are usually the best.

KK Rampage jumped into desks, but too early in their set. Canteen played a great set with a keyboard, programmed drum beats from an iPod and surf guitar but too many people were watching Elephant and Castle to consider even trying out a new group. The Digital Kill sounded loud from 100 feet outside the room. Whalehorse used a projector to the fullest.

Odd show. Worthwhile but odd.

Music with Meaning Night 8 Recap

Last night's Double Door taught me a valuable lesson in rock. Dudes like to rock and dudes like to drink.

The Quitters, a band I booked on a recommendation, were great. They recorded their set on a cassette tape, gave away their CD for free and their guitarist/singer Matt threw his guitar on the floor. He threw it to the floor in front of the stage.

Low of the Low are five dudes who like saying 'Bro' and drinking. They fucking rocked. Fucking is the only adjective one should use when describing the south side stoner metal band.

My Big Beautiful brought the old school pop punk. It's rare for me to enjoy pop punk. I enjoyed their set.

That last paragraph sounds horrible. No one should use the word brought when describing music. The use of the word instantly makes the writer seem old and creepy, like a Rolling Stone writer.

I got drunk and yelled at Jesus and the Devil to play songs I wanted to hear. They did. It was great. Their drummer kicked over his set. I bought their t-shirt. They will be entered in the Chicago Rock-Off series.

Music with Meaning Night 7 Recap

I love's Cal's Liquors. I only want to attend shows at Cal's, The Mutiny and Liar's Club.

The Spoken Four were good. Walking Bicycles were good. The Reptoids were good. Everyone was good. Everyone was loud. Everyone was drinking. In the top 10 of MWM shows I've thrown.

I should write more. Fuck it. Just show up.

Adding lbs.

I just watched myself on 'JBTV'. I'm not aging well.

At least I don't suck as much as this Head Automatica song and video.

Music with Meaning Night 6 Recap

Night six was the first MWM event we've ever done at Subterranean. The place seems a lot smaller during load-in and soundcheck.

The Patent Clerks was a pleasent suprise. The Columbus, Mo group made everyone (about 15 people) shut-up and listen in a good way. The Elevens and Mira Mira brought some nice mellow indie rock. STAR was my favorite of the night. It was my first time seeing them and I had no idea that their Dinosaur Jr./Republica/Big Black/My Bloody Valentine/La Bouche style of rock was done with just a drum machine (beats from an iPod), guitar and bass. Coupleskate was an ideal band to close out the evening, playing a 40-minute set of solid indie rock.

Hip hop was on the ground level. Indie rock was on the second level. Worlds did not collide.

P!nk is biting the hand that feeds. Trent Reznor is the 'angriest' 45-year old.

Music with Meaning Night 5 Recap

Thanks to The Skeeballs for driving out from Lake Geneva to play the Horseshoe on a Monday night. Thanks to everyone who came out. Thanks to The Stranger for playing an excellent 45-minute set of rockabilly. They were a perfect example of four parts coming together to drown out the rest of the world/bar.

I wanted to mention Joshua Dumas the other day. He read on night 3 at Mojoe's. Before the reading I had yet to meet Mr. Dumas. Through the festival we 'met' through emails and he asked to read. I said yes. His reading/performance/whatever was definitly one of the best yet. His story of lost/not lost/never there love was both heartbreaking and beautiful. He started slow and uncomfortable. He finished the same way. Everyone was paying heed to every word uttered. People with published books leaned over to ask me, "Who is this guy? He's great."

I'm still sick. I can't sleep due to construction. Tonight's show at Subterranean should be nice and mellow.

God damn jackhammers.

I almost forgot, today is 6/6/06. I am the most evil and most good motherfucker ever. It's a fact.

The next 7 days...
mellow, ambient rock
drunken grunge, grrrl, punk rock
readings - ROCK
8 bands in a classroom
critically acclaimed piano men
spinning records in Pilsen
HIP-HOP

Music with Meaning Night 4 Recap

Due to said illness I missed night 4 of Music with Meaning 7. This was the first MWM event I've ever missed.